


Stay with Me

by haileys_jay



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M, One Chicago (Chicago Franchise), Upstead
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23572177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haileys_jay/pseuds/haileys_jay
Summary: After some time apart, Hailey Upton and Jay Halstead finally admit what everyone else already knew: they have feelings for one another. Do those feelings stick, or will their partnership be the make it or break it in their relationship?
Relationships: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton, Jay Halstead/Hailey Upton
Comments: 49
Kudos: 285





	1. miss you, partner.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Chicago PD fic, and I cant wait to continue writing it. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

_**May 13, 2020** _

_“Hey, you’re probably working right now. There’s nothing wrong. I just, uh, I don't know. Work isn’t the same when your desk is empty. Miss you, partner.”_

Jay Halstead looked out his window, watching the rain pour down as he drank his beer. It’s been 6 weeks since Hailey went to New York. 6 weeks since they worked on a case together. 6 weeks since Jay looked across his desk and saw his blue-eyed best friend. Sure, they still texted and had a few phone calls here and there, but their opposing schedules and work loads made it hard to talk as much as they normally would.

Unfortunately for the detective, working without his partner wasn't something new, he just thought it wouldn’t happen again. Specifically, he thought a partner going to the FBI wouldn’t happen _again._ When Erin Lindsay left, Jay expected it. He saw it coming from miles away. If she didn’t leave the comfy confines of the 21st on her own, she probably would have been fired, and we all know she or Voight wouldn't let that happen. But then Hailey Upton came along and did more than fill the hole Lindsay left. Did Jay love Erin? Hell yes. But with Hailey, it was different. They weren’t _just_ partners, they were best friends who shared traumatic experiences over alcohol so they could get it out of their system and go to work the next day. So when Voight told him that Hailey would be gone for an unknown amount of weeks to work in New York, Jay would be lying if he said he didn’t get a little worried about his partner’s return.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be back. She’s one of Chicago’s finest, she just needed to get some priorities in check.” Voight assured Jay that Hailey would be back. But that was 6 weeks ago, and he missed his best friend.

_‘hey, you up? i couldn’t answer your call earlier, sorry :( ‘_

_‘of course i’m still up.’_

_‘and don’t worry about it. it wasn't anything important. just bored haha’_

_‘how many beers do you have left?’_

_‘just bought a new pack. why?’_

There was a knock on Jay’s door. He sat his phone and beer on the coffee table. He wasn’t expecting anyone, but it wasn’t uncommon for Adam to come over and have a few more drinks with him before officially going home. But when he opened his door, it wasn’t Ruzek. It was someone even better..

His partner.

“Hey, can I get one of those beers?”

* * *

“You know I would have picked you up from the airport.” Jay said as he shut the door behind Hailey. He motioned towards her bags, “Here, lemme take these.”

The blonde dropped her bags at his feet and hung her coat on a hook by the door. “I was told i’m coming home literally 10 hours ago. In my head, getting an uber and showing up was easier. I’m just glad you were home. Thank you, by the way.”

The blonde smiled as she watched him move her bags to the corner of the living room. She helped herself to a beer out of his fridge. 

“Did you tell Vanessa you were back yet?” Jay grabbed his beer and sat next to Hailey on the couch.

“Nope, you’re the only person I’ve told.” Hailey took a long drink from the glass bottle. For some reason, beer didnt taste as good when it was coming from a barely working mini fridge in a cheap hotel. “It’s been a day. We wrapped a long case and they told me last minute i was coming back to Chicago. The flight had an insane amount of turbulence and I, I just needed to sit here and have some beers with you.”

Jay grinned, “I’ll drink to that.” They clinked their bottles before taking more drinks. “I almost forgot what you looked like in a fancy suit.”

“I would like to. I hate this thing.”

“I told Platt that, I knew it.” Jay laughed to himself, recalling a conversation he had with the desk sergeant weeks before.

Instead of questioning it, Hailey shook her head and finished off her beer. “I didn’t just come here because I wanted some beer, Jay. I wanted to talk to you about something.” She fiddled with the label on the bottle, not watching his reaction.

“Look, I know that it’s been a weird month and a half, but if you’re thinking about leaving Intelligence, I won’t let it happen.” Jay had a sense of seriousness in his voice as Hailey raised her head.

“What?” She chuckled at him, “No, i’m not leaving Intelligence. If anything, working with the Feds made me want to never leave Intelligence again.”

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. I-”

“You’re fine. You’re right though, it was a weird few weeks. I messed up and did some things I shouldn't have. Working with the FBI, it really set some things straight. Before, some of the lines faded and New York really helped make them solid again. But one of those lines was you, Jay, and I don’t know if i want to make it solid. If anything, I want it erased.”

“I don't really know what you're saying, Hailes.” Jay gave her all of his attention. He ignored the fact that now both of them had empty beers, and that his foot was falling asleep. He could see his phone light up with notifications every 2 seconds, but he even ignored that.

“I love us as partners, and like you said, it’s hard to find a good one. But New York made me realize that I don't want just a partnership. I want _us._ Sitting down and having some drinks every few days is great, but I can't help and think that we share something more. Maybe I spent too much time watching cheesy rom-coms in my hotel room, but I really think we can make something happen.”

Hailey didn't really know what kind of reaction Jay would have. Jay didn’t even know what kind of reaction he would have until his hand was bringing her face closer to his, pressing their lips together. As their mouths moved in unison, Jay cuffed his hands around her face as she gripped his biceps. It felt like they had been like that forever when Hailey pulled away, staring into Jay’s green eyes.

“So you understand now?” 

Jay laughed, lowering one of his hands, “Yeah, I get it. I think-”

He was cut off by the sound of Hailey’s phone ringing in her pocket. Jay dropped his arm and checked his own phone - 16 texts from a group chat he wished Ruzek would have never added him in.

“It’s Vanessa. Somehow she knows I’m back in Chicago, so I should probably get an Uber back home.”

The two raised from the couch in unison. Hailey grabbed her bags and put her coat on, letting Jay help her put her arms through the sleeves.

“I can drive you. I haven't drank too much.” Jay tucked a piece of loose hair behind her ear.

“But you’ve drank. It’s fine, I don't live that far away. I’ll let you know when i get home.”

Jay leaned down and gently kissed Hailey one more time before opening the door for her.

“Be safe, and in case you didn't know, i'm really glad you're back home.”

Hailey smiled, “Me too, New York has nothing on this place.”

When the door shut, neither of them could really comprehend what happened, and neither of them really knew what it would lead to later on.


	2. i'm not jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What harm could a quick case and a night out at Molly's do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any rights to Chicago PD, the One Chicago franchise, or any of it's characters :)

**_May 14, 2020_ **

_ “5021 Henry, we need back up on the 1700 block of Laramie Street. Armed offenders on the run.” _

_ “Copy that 5021 Henry, back up is in route.” _

Hailey kept her radio in her hand as she continued to sprint down the road. Jay was in front of her, able to keep a better eye on the 2 people running.

_ “5021 Ida, I need an ambo at 1745 Laramie. Offender with GSW to the chest.” _

_ “Copy that 5021 Ida, an ambulance is less than 10 minutes out.” _

Ruzek, Atwater, Upton and Halstead went to a house to bring some people in for questioning regarding the murder of low level drug dealer. The questioning turned into a small shoot out, with 2 of the 3 people running away. Upton and Halstead went on the chase, while Ruzek and Atwater fought with the third guy, obviously not ending in the offender’s favor.

“Dammit, they split. I'll go left.” Halstead said as he rounded the corner, dodging a few bullets that didn't hit anything important. Upton continued straight as she heard sirens coming from behind her.

The offender slowed down and pulled out a gun, but before he could pull the trigger, Upton fired a few shots, 2 bullets hitting him in the shoulder. He wouldn't die, but he dropped to the ground and squirmed when Hailey put handcuffs on him. 

_ “5021 Henry, I need an ambo at 1783 Laramie. Offender with GSWs to the shoulder.” _

_ “Copy that 5021 Henry, an ambulance is in route.” _

A cop car, presumably their back up, slowed down next to Upton. 2 officers were inside the car.

“Still need back up?”

“My partner is on the next block over still chasing one.”

With a simple nod of the head, the car disappeared around a corner, lights and sirens blazing. Hailey pulled out her phone to talk to Halstead, but before she could press any buttons, her radio made noise again.

_ “5021 George. Offender in custody. Still requesting back up for transfer.” _

_ “Copy that 5021 George, back up is nearby.” _

Hailey let out a sigh of relief, knowing her partner was fine. Almost immediately, the ambulance pulled up, and 2 EMTs jumped out of the cab. She explained everything as they treated the man’s wounds and put him on a gurney.

“Hailey, you good?” Jay asked as he ran up behind her.

“Yeah, he was shot a few times but he’ll live. Meet you at the hospital?” Jay nodded his head as Hailey climbed in the ambulance, ready to accompany the felon to Gaffney Chicago Medical.

* * *

“Dakota Reed, 21, and Chance Fisher, 22, both at the hospital with gunshot wounds, both in surgery right now. Adarius Miller, 25, is waiting to be questioned.” 

Hailey explained the situation as Jay taped up their pictures and wrote descriptions. This case would be one of the easier ones, as they were all wanna-be bangers who forgot to clean their DNA from the victim’s house after killing him. The case would not have even been theirs if Adam and Kim weren't the first ones on the scene that morning.

“Great, I want a confession out of him within an hour.” Voight’s gravelly voice signaled the team to disassemble, Ruzek and Atwater taking a file and walking towards the interrogation rooms.

“Hailey, my office.”

She knew this would come eventually, a talk with Voight. Their first talk since she came home. It would have come sooner, if she wasn't pulled away from the station 10 minutes after walking through the door that morning. She wasn't nervous, exactly. Did her heart beat a little faster? Sure, but the last time they talked, he was yelling in her face and sending her to a different unit. Voight was not someone you wanted to be on the bad side of. Hailey knew why she was sent away, but it still stung when she thought about their last conversation.

“What’s up, Sergeant?” Hailey said as she shut the door behind her.

“SAC Castille said you were great out there. Followed all the rules and did some great police work. Didn't really wanna give you up.” Voight sat in his typical position, leaned back in his chair with crossed arms.

“I'm glad you let me come back, I was starting to miss Chicago.”

Voight grunted, “We missed having you here. You know it wasn't easy sending you. Hell, I would have sent literally anyone else. But Hailey, these boundaries-”

“I know, Sarge. I had a lot of time to think about the last couple months, and how my actions could have really messed up my career; the careers of everyone in the unit. It won't happen again.” Hailey was sincere in her apology. She liked Voight, and thought he was one of the best, if not  _ the  _ best, cop she had worked with. But after working on some of the toughest, most mentally draining cases with people who take absolutely no shit from anyone, she learned her lesson.

“Good, because next time it happens, I will have you on desk duty in the Ivory Tower so fast, you wont even have time to spell your own name.”

The look in Voight’s eyes was enough to send a few shivers down Hailey’s back, making the hair on her arms stand up. There were only a few times when he had to say something to her with that amount of force, and she really hoped it didn't happen anymore. Voight was a man of his word, and she didn't want him to follow through with these words.

“I understand, Sarge.” Hailey’s phone vibrated, a message from Will Halstead saying Reed was out of surgery and stable. “One of the guys is out of surgery.”

“Good, grab Halstead and get a confession.”

Hailey nodded her head and left his office. She took a breath of relief when she shut his door and signaled to Halstead that they had to leave.

* * *

“Kind of a crazy first day back, huh?” Jay said as he erased the board, an indication that their case was finally finished.

“To say the least. It was nice running in tennis shoes again. Sprinting down the streets in dress shoes was starting to kill my shins.” Hailey chuckled as she finished up the last of her paperwork.

Jay had to admit it, he loved having his partner back. To sit at his desk, and look up and see her bright blue eyes reading something on her computer screen, or hearing her laugh after picking on Ruzek. To walk her out to her car every night, unintentionally wanting to make sure she gets there safely, although he already knew she can stand up for herself in any dangerous situation. To know that she is right by his side during a tough case, and can always count on a beer when the day is over.

“Wanna go to Molly’s? I’ll pay, since it’s your first day back and all.” Jay said as he grinned, throwing on his jacket.

“Well who can pass up an offer like that.” Hailey turned off her computer and followed Jay towards the exit. Her phone vibrated in her pocket, smiling when she read the text on her screen.

“Who’s that?” Jay questioned as he looked over her shoulder. He didn't want to be nosey, but he was genuinely curious as to who else was making her smile.

“Just my partner in New York. He sent a funny picture to a couple of us.”

“Your  _ ex  _ partner, you mean.” Jay didn't mean for his words to come out so harsh, but he couldn't help it. He didn't even know the person, Hailey didn't even work with them anymore, but he still felt himself get heated just thinking about her calling someone else ‘partner’.

Hailey locked her phone and slipped it back into her pocket, “Wow, can someone say jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” He looked down to see her smirking, “I just don't want you calling anyone else partner. You're my partner, and I want you to always be mine. Maybe it’s stupid but-”

Hailey stopped him and put a gentle hand on his forearm. “It's not stupid. I get it. We've been working together for a while, and we've been through a lot together. No one else is going to compete with that. Don't worry, I won't call anyone else partner.” She playfully bumped into him with her shoulder as they neared the glass doors leading outside.

* * *

“Please tell me you tried the food. And I'm not talking about just the pizza, but the pasta and the sandwiches. When I was a flight attendant, all of us would just go out and eat when we flew to New York City. It was amazing.” Burgess finished off her beer, ready to start on another.

“Of course! What kind of foodie would I be if I didn't?” Hailey chuckled as she also finished a beer. For the past 2 hours, she had been answering everyone’s questions. Were the bars different, did everyone speak fast, did she actually sight see or just chase the bad guys around? It kept her entertained for a while, but after a long day she was ready to go home, take some melatonin, and knock out for 10 hours.

After some protests, and maybe a couple shots, Hailey made her way out of the bar. Jay watched her before he excused himself, claiming he was also tired.

“Hey Hailes, wait up.” Jay said as he jogged towards her.

“Just the man I wanted to see.” Hailey smirked, putting her hands on his abdomen when he got close. Jay chuckled as he felt himself being pushed backwards, finally hitting a brick wall behind him.

“Jay, last night wasn’t some joke because I was happy to be home. I genuinely want you. Us. And this isn't because I've had 2 too many shots, but because as soon as I stepped foot in the district, I couldn't wait to see you and feel how happy you make me.”

In the glow of the street light, Jay could see her face become slightly flushed, probably because of the alcohol, but also see how serious she was being. Like the drinks haven't fully taken over yet. Her eyes stared directly at his, her pupils slightly dilated, but all attention on him.

And in one swift move, Jay had Hailey on the wall, hand cupping her face as he kissed her. He could taste the tequila on her lips as she snaked her arms around his neck. She was quite a bit shorter, but that didn't stop him biting her lip before kissing her neck, causing a small moan to escape from her. It was like time froze, and nothing around them mattered. They didn't care that cars sped past them, or people giggled as they walked by them. They were just enjoying each other.

But then the bell near the door to Molly’s rang, and laughter was heard down the street. Familiar laughter from the people they worked with every day. Jay groaned before giving Hailey one last peck on the lips.

“We gotta get out of here pretty fast if you want to keep this on the low.”

Hailey adjusted the jacket that was halfway down her arms. “Yeah, good idea.”

Within steps, the high from the kiss went down and the alcohol had finally set in. Luckily Jay was there, or Hailey would have fallen on her face more than once. She blamed it on the uneven sidewalk, but he said it was the 7 tequila shots she had. Regardless, he kept a steady arm around her waist all the way to his truck. He opened the door for her, and before he could crawl into his own seat, she was sound asleep with her beanie over her eyes. Thank god he decided to drive her, he thought.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!   
> I really wanted to add some radio talk in this one, and of course a good ol talk with Voight. I kinda feel like Jay would be a little jealous if Hailey ever talked about her partnership with OA. Had to bring back the fact that badass Kim was once a flight attendant ;)  
> Comment to let me know what you think, and if you have any suggestions, just let me know!! Hope you enjoyed!


	3. please don't leave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the night after is a little fuzzy for Hailey

**_May 15, 2020_ **

Hailey groaned as she woke up, the realization of how many drinks she had suddenly hitting her. The annoying sounds coming from her phone, otherwise known as an alarm, also didn't help. Sitting up in the bed, her head started to pound as she rubbed her eyes. Suddenly, somebody next to her started to stir awake.

_ Jay _ .

Hailey didn't really remember anything from the night before, the pain in her head made it almost impossible for her to remember her phone’s passcode, let alone a whole string of events that led her to waking up next to her half naked partner.

“There’s some aspirin and water on your night stand.” Jay said as he began to wake up.

Hailey smiled, “Thanks. I’m really gonna need it.” She quickly downed the pills and water, hoping that it sets in quickly. 

Jay sat up and kissed the side of her head. He got up, shirtless and wearing basketball shorts, and went to the bathroom. “I know. You were kind of a mess last night.” His laugh echoed into the bedroom.

Hailey looked down at herself. She had an oversized t-shirt on and underwear. She definitely didn't remember getting undressed last night, but again, the night was a blur.

“Jay, did we, uh.” Hailey motioned to the space between her and the man walking out of the bathroom. Then she pointed to the bed with messed up blankets and the pieces of clothing covering her floor.

Jay shook his head, “No. Almost, but no. You don’t remember anything?” 

Hailey laughed as she held her head in her hands. “No, that tequila kicked my ass. Hard.”

* * *

**_The Night Before_ **

Just 10 minutes ago, Hailey was passed out in the front seat of his truck. Just 15 minutes ago, Hailey and Jay were making out outside of Molly’s. Just 20 minutes ago, Hailey was taking her final shots to celebrate her homecoming from New York.

Now, Hailey got her second wind and was wide awake, walking around and acting as if she and Burgess didn't finish off a bottle of tequila by themselves. 

As soon as the front door closed, Hailey was attached to Jay. It started with gentle kisses and playing with the hair on the nape of his neck, but then he lifted her into his arms and it turned into rough kisses and grabbing what she could of his short hair.

“Vanessa. Soon. Upstairs. Bedroom.” Hailey panted in between kisses. Vanessa was at Molly’s with the rest of them, so there was no doubt she would come home soon.

When they got to her room, the clothes started to fly. It started with Jay’s shirt, followed by Hailey’s own top. In between kisses, he took in the sight of her gorgeous body. From every freckle to every curve, he wanted to remember it all. Before laying on the bed, Hailey slid her jeans off of her legs, making Jay take another few seconds for a good stare. She unbuttoned his pants before he kissed up and down her body, making it a point to stop at her hips and neck. 

And that’s when everything started to go downhill for Hailey.

She could see Jay’s pants fall to the ground, she could hear their breathing become quicker, and she could feel herself start to get sick. All the tequila and beer and whatever else made its way into her body was threatening to make its way out. She muttered a quick “I’m sorry” before pushing Jay off of her and running to the bathroom.

“Don’t worry, I got ya.” Jay whispered as he held back Hailey’s blonde hair. He rubbed circles into her back as she continued to heave into the toilet. 

“This sucks so bad.” Hailey groaned when she finished emptying her insides into the toilet. Jay handed her a towel before offering a hand to help her stand up.

“Brush your teeth. I’m doing downstairs real quick.”

Hailey grabbed his hand before he could leave the room. “Please don’t leave.” Her voice sounded like a little kid not wanting their mom to leave.

Jay smiled, “I’m not leaving. I’m gonna grab a bag from my truck.” He bent over and picked up a piece of clothing, his t-shirt. “Put this on, brush your teeth. I’ll be back before you know it.”

He kissed the top of her head before disappearing from the room. She did as she was told and crawled into bed. Her eyes immediately felt heavy as her body was finally telling her it was time to go to sleep. The faint sound of a bag dropping on the floor and extra weight being placed on her bed was what woke her up momentarily.

“Is it cool if I sleep here?” Jay whispered as he laid down next to Hailey. She nodded her head and moved closer to his outstretched arms, feeling the warmth from his body before even touching him. It wasn’t hot heat, but a comforting warmth that she didn't know she needed.

“I put on shorts, if that matters.” Jay said, causing Hailey to giggle into his chest. She rubbed her foot up his thigh to feel the nylon material before draping her whole leg over his lower body. He traced circles into her arm until they both fell into a soundless sleep.

* * *

“Oh my gosh.” Hailey groaned as she listened to Jay explain everything that happened. “Wait, Vanessa didn't see you?” 

Jay shook his head, recalling the moment when he left the house in only his boxers to grab his backpack. “I didn’t see her. But she drank as much as you, so she can’t be having a much better morning.”

Hailey laughed before another groan escaped her body. “Please never let me drink like that again.” She sipped some coffee that Jay generously made while she took a shower just 20 minutes prior.

Jay’s cell phone vibrated on the kitchen island. A series of texts appeared on his screen. They were all from the same group chat he swore he would leave. Reading the iMessages, he began to chuckle. “I guess Ruzek and Burgess had a good night. She stayed at his place last night and some emojis suggest they did more than just sleep.” He raised an eyebrow as he laughed some more.

“How much did I miss in 6 weeks?” Hailey said in a shocked tone, despite already knowing about some of the couple’s recent actions from Burgess over the phone.

“That’s not even the start of it.”

The two laughed some more before they heard a door slam and slow footsteps head their way.

“Would you guys shut the fuck up.” Rojas said as she stumbled into the kitchen, looking much like Hailey did earlier that morning.

“Well good morning to you too.” Jay said as he received a quick middle finger in return.

Like clockwork, their phones lit up from a message from Voight about a new case. It wasn't urgent, but the brief details showed that it would keep their attention for most of the day. Rojas groaned loudly as she walked back to her room to get ready. 

“I guess she didn’t have water and extra strength pain relievers at her bedside, huh?” Hailey questioned as she got a to-go cup of coffee ready.

“Nope, only for the best.” Jay smiled as he slid his cup towards her, also needing a caffeine kick start for the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! It was written kind of fast and last minute, but it was still fun!! Let me know what you thought!


	4. happy birthday, hailes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> growing up, Hailey's birthday's weren't always filled with happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: domestic violence/abuse, language, alcoholism
> 
> writing this chapter was an emotional roller coaster for me, so I hope you guys enjoy !

**_June 16, 2003_ **

_ “I told you I didn't like that shit!” _

The sound of glass shattering made 12 year old Hailey jump from her spot on the couch in the living room. At this point, it was just a normal night in the Upton household. Some arguing, things breaking, words said that a 12 year old probably shouldn't hear.

“Come on Hailes, let’s go upstairs.” Hailey’s 14 year old brother Blake said, taking the girl out of her trance.

“I’m fine, B. If I go upstairs, then I'll fall asleep. And i don't want to fall asleep, I want to stay up until midnight.” She stared at the boy who looked a lot like her. They shared the same blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but he already stood a foot taller than her. The oldest Upton sibling, Noah, was a 15 year old gamer who liked to let his brown hair grow past his brown eyes. The younger siblings liked to make fun of him, saying he was adopted, but the side-by-side comparison to his father clearly showed he was an Upton.

Another sound of something breaking echoed through the house, followed by some cries from a woman. Hailey looked down at the book in her small hands while her brother sat on the couch next to her.

“I’ll play games with you. Maybe I'll even let you play my PlayStation, since you’re going to be a teenager soon.” He winked at her, before another bout of arguments started.

It was the eve of Hailey’s 13th birthday. She would finally be a teenager, not a kid anymore. She could play outside with her friends a whole hour longer, her brothers wouldn't kick her out of the ‘teenagers only soccer club’ anymore, and maybe, just maybe her brothers would let her play their video games without unplugging the controller 15 minutes into the game. Her only wish though, was her parents to stop fighting. It had been going on for the better part of a year, with the last few months proving to be the most difficult. It used to be just yelling, but it progressed to things breaking and her mom wearing more make-up than usual. After her father’s restaurant got robbed that February, they temporarily stopped fighting. He almost died and had a lot of surgeries, so he just stayed home and slept. But in April, after starting work again, he would come home and get angry again, this time with a funny smelling breath and a louder, dirtier mouth.

“Really!? Can I play with your dinosaurs?” 

Blake laughed, “Yeah, I’ll let you play my Jurassic Park game. Come on.” He knelt down in front of his little sister, signaling her to jump on his back. Even though she was going to be a teenager, she loved being carried around on their backs. After she was situated, they started walking towards the wooden stairs.

“I thought I told you guys to quit fucking around like that in the house.” Their father walked into the living room, pointing a finger at them as he raised his voice. The kids stopped dead in their tracks at the stair landing, Hailey slowly sliding off of her brother.

“Nik, they weren’t doing anything. Leave them alone.” Their mother came up behind, resting a hand on his shoulder.

While turning around, he raised his elbow and rammed it into her mouth, knocking her on the ground. Tears in her eyes and blood coming from her lip, she looked up at her husband, who clearly had no remorse. “I don't think I was talking to you, bitch.”

Horrified, Hailey just stood there and watched. The young girl had never actually seen her mother get hit, just the aftermath. Before their father could focus his attention on them again, Blake threw his sister over his shoulder and ran upstairs to the bedroom he shared with Noah. He didn't even bother to see if the man was following them before he slammed and locked the door.

“What the heck, B. Why are you being so loud?” Noah slid his headphones off of his ears and placed them on the desk. He looked from his brother to his sister, who was sitting on the bottom bunk bed, silently crying. “Hailey? What happened?”

“Dad just started going off on us and mom tried to stop him but he hit her.” Blake explained, worriedly pacing the room.

“He didn't get you guys, right?” Noah was now sitting next to the girl, his thumb rubbing circles into her back. He did a good job of spending a lot of time in the bedroom, avoiding his father and blocking out most of the noise. 

Hailey shook her head, “No, but mom is bleeding. It looked like it hurt a lot.” She sniffled and wiped her cheeks. The time on the boys’ alarm clock read 11:23 PM. 

“Dammit, I’ll be back.” Noah said, walking towards the door before his siblings could protest his actions.

He stormed downstairs, his 2 siblings chasing after him. Prepping for the upcoming football season, Noah had been working out somewhat often, making him more muscular than his younger siblings. 

Their mom was still sitting on the ground, but now with visible swelling around her right eye. Their dad towered over her, yelling profanities, oblivious of the kids nearby.

“Leave my mom alone!” Noah came from behind, jerking the man backward. He was a good, straight A, level headed kid, but something about his mom bleeding triggered something in him that he didn't even know he had.

“This doesn’t concern you.” Nik tried to walk towards them, but was met with more shoves.

“Noah, stop, I’m fine!” Amanda stood up as quickly as she could, trying to get in between the males. Meanwhile, Hailey and Blake sat on the stairs, yelling at the trio from a distance.

After a few more shoves, a large fist connected with the teenager’s face, knocking him on the ground and rendering the house silent. Amanda shrieked, tending to the boy on the ground. Hailey and Blake sat silent, mouths wide open as they watched their father take deep breaths and run his hands through his graying hair. 

“Noah, I-” The older man started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Kids, go upstairs.  _ Now.” _ The woman said, helping her son to his feet. She grabbed some tissues and dabbed away the blood on her lips, shoving them into her pajama pockets when finished. The kids ran upstairs quickly, tripping over one another before making their way into the boys’ bedroom.

_ “Chicago Police. Open up.” _

“Oh my god, dad’s going to jail.” Hailey cried as she heard a second knock at the front door.

“He’s not going to jail. He’ll make up an excuse or something.” Noah shrugged as he touched under his eye, feeling heat and some pain. He would wake up the next morning with the same black eye his mother would have. 

Downstairs, Nik took a few breaths before opening the door, his wife deciding to stay in the kitchen, out of view.

“Hello sir. There were complaints about screaming coming from the residence. Is everything okay here?” The uniformed officer looked past the man, trying to find anything unusual or out of place.

“Nope. I have 3 kids, and one of their birthdays is soon, tonight actually. They were just celebrating and making noise like kids do.” He gave a fake but realistic smile.

“Where are they now, sir?” The second officer questioned.

“They calmed down and went upstairs.” A few neighbors were standing on their porches or looking out windows. If the yelling didn't wake them up, the flashing red and blue lights sure did. “Look officers, we’re sorry for the inconvenience. It won’t happen again.”

The officers looked at each other, content with the man’s answers. “Alright, just keep it quiet from how on. Have a good night.”

With another fake smile, the cops went back to their car, neighbors retreated back to their homes, and Nik shut the door, closing off their surroundings. His eyes shifted upstairs, watching his kids quickly shuffle back into the room. His wife peaked around the corner, dabbing an ice cube on her face. Instead of speaking to her, or apologizing to his kids, he simply shook his head and walked to the bedroom he shared with his wife, slamming the door in the process.

Hailey watched the clock change from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM. She looked down at her lap, her legs covered in goosebumps and hands slightly shaky. Noah wrapped her hands in his own, averting her attention.

“Happy birthday, Hailes. I’m sorry it started off so crappy.” Her brother’s dark eyes showed genuine regret.

“Happy birthday, little sister. Still want to play that game?” Blake said, trying to soften the mood.

She shook her head, “I think I just want to go to sleep.” She took a deep, but shaky breath. “Can I sleep in bed with you? I promise I wont kick you.” She looked at him as if she wasn't a new teenager, but just a scared kid who wanted to feel safe.

The 14 year old smiled, “Sure. Ill grab your blanket.” He patted her knee before going to her room. She uncrossed her legs and laid down, trying to let the much needed sleep take over her mind.

* * *

**_June 17, 2020_ **

Hailey sat on a stool in her kitchen, taking in her surroundings. It was almost 1 in the morning, and the only light was the full moon shining through the window. She had a pile of mail sitting on the kitchen island, most of it probably birthday cards from family members who would message her later in the day. She looked at her metallic fridge doors, pictures sporadically clung to it by magnets. A few were of her and Jay, her and Vanessa, but the one that stood out the most was the one with her brothers hugging bear hugging her from both sides. It was taken roughly 6 years ago, the last time they all got together. A few months later she was thrust into a year long undercover gig, forcing her to abruptly stop talking to them. 6 years later, and they still barely talked.

_ Happy birthday, Hailes. _

This was her 30th birthday, and she still replayed the events of her 13th in her head every year. That morning, her mom made her favorite breakfast meal, biscuits and gravy, and acted as if the night before was nothing out of the ordinary. Like her voice wasn't hoarse from yelling, and pieces of 2 glass plates and a cup didn't lay in the garbage bin, shattered from being thrown at the wall. Her dad was quiet and her brother’s tried to cheer her up, but opening presents and blowing out her 13 candles just felt different than years before. They would continue to feel different for years down the road, as well.

“There you are.” Jay shuffled into the kitchen, shirtless and eyes full of sleep. He kissed the top of her head as he walked to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water. He stayed over more often than not these days. “What are you doing out here?”

“Couldn't really sleep. A lot on my mind, I guess.” She looked up at the man who stood across the island from her. His adorable bed hair never failed to make her smile, and his presence alone made her feel happy on the inside. “You can go back to sleep, ill be there in a bit.”

Jay stared at her for a minute. Despite just waking up, he could still sense some uneasiness about her. She had been awake for hours, he knew that, but her voice was soft and actions unsure. Instead of speaking, he walked back to the fridge and opened the doors, pulling out a butter container.

“Jay, what are you doing?” She furrowed her brows and laughed at the item in his hands.

He set the container in front of her, “Just open it.” He stood to her side, his hand tracing circles into her back.

It wasn't butter inside, not even close actually. Under the lid sat a cupcake, icing messy but showed signs of effort. The top was slightly lopsided, but what cupcake isn't? Hailey smiled, taking it out of the container. Jay took a candle out of a nearby drawer and stuck in on top of the dessert.

“It’s not perfect, but I tried.” He giggled, looking at the purple, preschooler-like smiley face on top of the baby blue icing. “Happy birthday, Hailey. I hope your day is as amazing as you are.” He lit the candle with a lighter, the second source of lighting in the room.

“Jay, I love it so much. Thank you.” Hailey kissed him on the cheek before blowing out the candle.

“Did you make a wish?”

“My wish has already come true. You’re standing by my side, aren't you?” Jay chuckled as he leaned over, taking her face in his hands and kissing her.

“Just wait until you see the cake.” He laughed, “A butter container was a great idea, right? You didn't suspect a thing.” 

Hailey let out a laugh as she put the dessert back into the square dish. “You're right, I didn't. I'll eat it later. Want to go back to sleep?”

“I’m so glad you suggested that.” He yawned as sleep overcame him once again. He threw Hailey over his shoulder and walked up the stairs, similar to what her older brother had done years before. This time, instead of crying and screaming, there was laughter and happiness that filled the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> like I said, emotional roller coaster.  
> I was re-watching episodes and decided to write about Hailey's past. I took some personal experiences and Hailey's experiences and combined them to create this. I actually emotionally hurt myself while writing this, so I hope you guys like it!! 
> 
> ps: we don't actually know Hailey's birthday and/or age, but she said she was 12 in February 2003, so I did my best. same goes for her entire family in general lol


	5. i'm right here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some Independence Day fluff for our favorite duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for combat PTSD & flashbacks  
> see the end for my special thanks!!

**_July 3rd, 2020_ **

“What’s your opinion on camping?” Jay asked as his arm snaked around Hailey, reaching for his coffee cup on the break room counter.

“Why?” Hailey chuckled as she finished pouring coffee into her own cup.

“Well tomorrow is the 4th of July. I rented a camper at the campgrounds with Ruzek but he’s bailing to go to Rockford with Kim. I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.” He smiled at her as she poured his coffee, awaiting her response.

The two didn't use the official titles of ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’, but they were the definition of a couple without realizing it. Jay had more than a drawer of his things at Hailey’s house, and if Vanessa didn’t see him in the mornings, she thought something was wrong. They did a pretty good job at keeping it professional at work, and did not mention anything about their relationship to anyone. But, they did work with some of the most elite detectives who could tell something was up, but decided to keep their mouths shut instead.

“Oh, so i’m your second choice?” Hailey feigned hurt as Jay stood with his mouth open in shock.

“No, i just-”

“I’m kidding. I'll gladly join you.” Hailey laughed as she took a step closer to the man. She came eye level with his shoulder, but to her, their height difference was great. Sometimes she had to be on her tippy toes for kisses, but hearing his heart beat when they hugged made her own heart skip a few beats. 

Jay laced a finger around one of hers. She smiled, and rubbed circles into his hand with her thumb. It was a small, but affectionate, gesture they did whenever they were alone. Keeping quiet on their personal life wasn't easy sometimes, but it's what they both wanted and figured it was ultimately easier at the end of the day.

“Hey, Voight wants to let us off early.” Kim said as she walked into the break room. The pair separated and quickly acted like nothing was going on.

“Let me guess, we have to finish paperwork first?” Jay said as Hailey grabbed her cup with both of her hands, taking a few steps away from him.

“Yeah. He said the real work can wait until after the weekend.” They all chuckled, knowing that they would be busy Monday morning because crime doesn't suddenly stop for a holiday. If anything, 4th of July weekend had some of the highest crime rates during the year.

Hailey was the first to leave the room. As Jay stirred creamer into his coffee, Kim gave him a side eye and a smirk that he couldn't ignore.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Jay flung his spoon into the sink, the sound of metal hitting metal breaking the silence. 

“I see you, Halstead.” She said devilishly before leaving the room herself. Jay took a few breaths and shook his head before he went to his desk, once again sitting across from his favorite person.

* * *

“I already have 3 mosquito bites and we’ve been here for 2 minutes.” Hailey groaned as she grabbed her duffel bag from the back seat of Jay’s truck.

“That’s one of the amazing experiences of being in the great outdoors.” 

Jay stood on the steps of the camper. He already put his bags inside, but Hailey refused his help with bringing in her duffel and a few grocery bags.

“Did you ever go camping when you were growing up?” He questioned, holding the door open for the blonde.

“Once. It rained almost the whole weekend and I shared a small air mattress with my brothers. It was still fun until Blake broke his elbow falling off of a tire swing. He said the rope broke, but we all know he was trying to impress a girl.”

Hailey didn’t talk about her childhood much, so Jay took in every word as if he would never hear about it again. It always made his insides warm when she told the rare, happy moments with her brothers.

When the door shut, he pulled her close to him, “I can promise you there will be no broken elbows on this trip.” He leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, “and there is a 0% chance of rain all weekend.” She smiled against his lips as the bags fell to the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her hands through his hair. As much as they wanted to continue making out, it was cut short when a child’s scream could be heard from outside of the door. They looked out of the window to find a girl being chased by a boy holding a worm. 

“I can't promise that won’t happen again.”

Hailey laughed as she gently slapped his chest. She bent down to pick up her bags, this time letting Jay help her.

* * *

If Hailey would have known how attractive Jay would be in something as simple as cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and hiking boots, she would have agreed to go hiking with him a long time ago. It was the only thing that filled her mind as they weaved in and out of trees and through small streams. To top it off, he hadn’t shaved in days and his messy hair was  _ always  _ a turn on for her.

“I knew there was a river nearby!”

Jay’s enthusiasm brought her out of her trance as they approached the bank of the river.

“You’ve been here before?” Hailey looked at the water as it flowed by. It wasn't deep, and there were more rocks than sand at the bottom. In the distance, they could see a group of people sitting on rafts while drinking beer.

“I came with Will a couple years ago.” He smiled to himself at the memory of his brother complaining the whole hike, but acting like a small kid who received candy when he saw the water. “Let’s go for a swim.”

“Excuse me?” She scoffed as Jay took off his shirt and tossed it on the ground. “We didn’t bring swimsuits.”

Jay shrugged, “Just take off your clothes. The rest will dry.” He smirked as he untied his boots, slipping them off with ease.

“What if someone steals them.”

“Hailes,” Jay cupped her face with his hands, “No one is going to steal our stuff. This isn't a high school locker room. Now take off your clothes.”

He gave her a quick peck before stepping away. He took off his shorts, throwing them in the same area as his other things. He stood in his boxers, watching Hailey hesitantly take off her tank top.

“I know you can get undressed faster than that.” Jay grinned as he lifted her shirt over her head in one swift motion. A couple of teases and laughs later, their clothes laid in a haphazard pile on the bank as the pair ran into the water. Almost instantly, water was being splashed into each other’s faces like 2 kids playing in a pool. If Hailey thought Jay looked good in hiking gear, her mind was blown when he was only wearing boxers in lieu of swim trunks.

* * *

The sound of fire crackling while he drank a beer was something Jay didn't know he missed. It had been years since he actually sat around a fire, especially with someone he absolutely adored. He watched as Hailey opened a bag of marshmallows, insisting they make smores as their final snack of the night. He couldn't take his eyes off of her sun-kissed skin, and how she struggled trying to open the bag at first, but then her eyes lit up with happiness with the plastic broke free. He was so intent on watching that his beer bottle nearly missed his mouth as he took a drink.

That all changed immediately when firecrackers exploded in the distance, followed by some bang snaps being thrown on the rocks and colorful smoke from smoke bombs filled the air. Jay  _ knew  _ it was all part of the weekend festivities; that nothing deadly was happening, but friends and family having fun with fire. This still didn't stop Jay from completely zoning out and having his mind think about the things he saw and did many years ago.

* * *

_ “Your spades game has nothing on mine, Halstead.” _

_ “So that’s why I beat you every time?” _

_ The group of men laughed from the cab of the humvee. They were somewhere in the Korengal Valley in Afghanistan, finally going back to base after a grueling mission that forced the Rangers to stay up for 72 hours straight, with the minimum amounts of food and water but maximum amounts of adrenaline. _

_ “We’ll see about that. Wanna make a bet?” Mouse took his hand off of his rifle and stuck it out so his battle buddy could shake it. But before Halstead could even respond, their worlds were turned upside down, literally. _

_ At first there were 2 loud booms, then the humvee was upside down. All 6 guys were thrown around, as seat belts didn’t exist in the Army vehicles. Then there was another explosion followed by the familiar sounds of gunshots. _

_ “Mouse!” Jay yelled as he found his friend, face covered in blood. _

_ “I’m good, I’m good.” Mouse struggled to move, but a forehead gash would be the least of his problems if his leg would come out from under the heavy crate of ammunition. “I’m fine, go help the others.” _

_ Jay stared at his friend for a few more seconds before he moved to help another guy. 2 had already escaped the vehicle, taking shelter while they fired rounds into the distance. Halstead  _ _ had successfully freed the guy from a mountain of loose gear and led him outside. A few more shots rang beside his ear, which wouldn't be the first or last time. _

__

_ “We got quite a few guys down over there,” one of his fellow Rangers pointed towards a small mountain where some enemies were, “i think we got them all. Some IEDs went off when we drove by, and took out 3 of our humvees.” _

__

_ Jay wiped the sand out of his eyes and looked around to see some of his friends laying on the ground covered in blood, while others held their rifles in anticipation of another attack. Soon, Mouse finally crawled out of the vehicle to witness the wreckage himself. _

__

_ “We have a helo on the way, don't worry.” Their Sergeant said as another explosion went off in the distance. This time, it was his troops throwing grenades that took down a few remaining people. _

__

_ “We’re good, bud, we’re good.” Jay said as he placed a hand on Mouse’s shoulder, both of them drawing in deep breaths. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the last time they heard explosions in the deserts of Afghanistan. _

__

* * *

“Mouse.” Jay muttered quietly.

__

Hailey looked at him from the picnic table, questioning what he said. At first, she thought he was just watching the kids playing in the dark. Then she heard the pops and cracks and saw his breathing become more ragged. He wasn't staring at the kids, but off in the distance getting caught up in his own thoughts.

__

“Jay, babe, are you here?” Hailey threw the sticks on the ground as a flash of blue and green lights lit up the sky. The first of many fireworks in the big show that night.

__

“Jay, I need you to look at me.” 

__

She slowly approached him, not wanting to startle the Army veteran. In the faint light of the fire, she could see how dark his eyes were, and how tense his muscles were. Another explosion in the sky. She crouched in front of him, continuously murmuring his name, and gently laid her hand on his forearm. 

__

At her touch, Jay moved his arm away faster than she had ever seen. He finally looked at her, seeing the shadows of the fire dance across her face. A few more eruptions were heard. He could see Hailey’s mouth move, but he couldn't hear anything. It was almost as if his hearing was muffled, and the only noises he could hear were coming from his brain.

__

Her small hands rested on his knee, her thumbs rubbing circles into the sides. She could see his chest quickly rise and fall. He was looking at her, but not at her. A few smaller explosions and she could feel the muscles in his leg tense up. 

__

“Hey, i'm right here. Focus on me, nothing else.” Hailey laid a hand on his upper arm, letting him know she was there. She kept speaking; saying anything to keep his focus on her. She took one of his hands in hers, playing with his fingers and intertwining them with hers. She messed with his hair a few times, hoping that anything she did was soothing him. Neither of them knew how long it took, but eventually the fireworks started to reduce to things like bottle rockets and the loud chatter of neighboring campers quieted.

__

Finally, his eyes reverted back to their normal green, his muscles softened, and he could hear more than the muffled noises around him.

__

“Hailey?” Jay said softly, looking into Hailey’s dark, worried eyes. “I’m so sorry. I didn't mean to zone out.” He placed a gentle hand on the crook of her neck, and she immediately melted into it.

__

Hailey let out a breath of relief. She stood up, finally able to feel her legs after being crouched for who knew how long. She looked at him, finally seeing the life in his eyes, before completely enveloping him in a hug.

__

“It’s fine, you’re okay.” She murmured into his shoulder as she sat on his lap. They heard the lawn chair creak from the added weight, but neither of them cared.

__

“I’m so sorry.” Jay wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight. “How long was I out?”

__

“Well, the firework show is done.” 

__

For the first time, they noticed how quiet the camp ground was now. There were still fires going, including theirs, and laughs from other sites as people sat around and enjoyed each other's presence. All the children were presumably in bed, worn out from all the fun the holiday brought with it.

__

“Do you feel okay? You worried the shit out of me.” Hailey sat up and adjusted herself better in his lap.

__

“Yeah, I just...I didn't think I still reacted that way towards fireworks. I even knew they were coming, I could hear them sporadically all day. When I came home from Afghanistan, it was bad. Everything brought me back there. For a few years, I would spend this holiday in a cabin in Wisconsin, away from everyone and everything. It's been over a decade, but i guess my mind still can't turn off those memories.”

One of Jay’s hands rested on Hailey’s back, making sure she didn't lean too far backwards. His other hand played with some loose strings on the woman’s shorts, avoiding all eye contact. Hailey played with the hairs on the back of his neck, something Jay loved but didn't often admit.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m not even the least bit upset. You couldn't help it. I just need you to know that I'm here for you, and I always will be.”

Finally, Jay made eye contact with her. The dark, scared eyes he saw earlier were now bright blue, even with the minimal light they had, and filled with happiness. He smiled for the first time in hours. The two leaned in for a tender kiss, neither of them wanting much more after the events of the night. Afterwards, Hailey rested her head on his shoulder, letting out a big yawn.

Jay peaked at his watch, 0135. They were up later than either of them anticipated to be. 4th of July fell on a Saturday, which meant tomorrow they would be busy at work with whatever the great city of Chicago graced them with. He could feel Hailey’s soft, shallow breaths on his neck, but he knew she wasn’t asleep.

“You wanna go to lay in bed? I’m kinda wore out.” Jay suggested as he yawned himself.

Hailey nodded her head and reluctantly stood up. The fire was now down to a few embers and their marshmallows were covered in ants, something they would have to deal with in the morning. They went inside the camper, locking it before going to their small bedroom.

“I’m so tired, but honestly, I don't think i can sleep.” The blonde flopped on the mattress, and almost immediately felt every spring hit the back of her body.

“That reminds me.” Jay said as he left the room. Hailey watched him in confusion as he went to the bathroom, coming back with a green medicine bottle. “I packed some melatonin just in case your insomnia randomly kicked in.”

“The gummy kind! You treat me like a princess, Jay Halstead.”

Jay laughed as he laid next to her, “Only for the one and only Hailey Upton.”

* * *

After waking up late that morning, the two decided to buy some rafts and relax in the river. A couple times, Jay flipped Hailey’s raft and in retaliation, she tried her best to dunk him in the deeper parts of the water. They came across a few tree branches to jump from, but they always came back to their beers and inflatables. Before checking out of the camper, they finally ate the smores Hailey was dying to make the night prior. They had considerably more bug bites then when they checked in, but there were less complaints. Jay was also thankful that she knew how to neatly pack the bags they over packed days prior.

“As much fun this weekend was, I’m so ready to go home.” Jay spoke as he climbed in the truck after returning the keys to their camp site.

“A real bed and air conditioning sounds great right now.”

The two spoke as if Jay didn't have an apartment of his own. Every night he stayed with Hailey, and the only time he stepped foot in his place was to grab some clothes, which ended up staying in drawers that Hailey had subconsciously cleared for him. He even went grocery shopping with the girls and slipped in a few dollars here and there for bills.

“And a real shower.” Jay smirked, recalling the showers they took together in the tight, stand up camper shower.

Hailey laughed from the passenger side, “Next time we’re getting a cabin.”

“I’d like that.” Jay took her hand in his and brought it up to his lips, giving it a few quick kisses before finally starting the drive home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to my tumblr friends, specifically puckluck28, darkdisrepair, and chilly7188, for helping me with this chapter. i havent had the motivation to write and they definitely inspired me! Let's talk about Upstead chat - yall freaking rule.
> 
> its longer than i anticipated, but i really wanted to update, so hopefully you guys enjoyed!! leave some comments and make me smile!


	6. another day at the office

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, Hailey, what happened?” He asked as he wiped some blood out of her eye.

**_July 17, 2020_ **

“So it’s Friday, and I was thinking we have a date night tonight. What do you think?” Jay suggested as he grabbed 2 coffee cups from the ledge of a local food truck they often ate from.

“As long as I don't have to wear dress shoes, I’m fine.” Hailey chuckled as she shoved a few dollars into the tip jar then took one of the cups from Jay’s hands. She swore her feet still haven't recovered from running all over New York City in dress shoes.

“No,” Jay laughed, “Us, deep dish pizza, and some beer. No fancy clothes, Cubs on the big screen, and loads of cheese on some crust.”

Hailey’s mouth was watering before he could even finish the sentence. They were just taking a break from the piles of paperwork they had to do, but now she wished she was off work and sitting in a Downtown Chicago restaurant with her boyfriend and favorite food.

“Say less, of course I’m in.” She looked up at Jay to see him smiling. He placed his free hand on the small of her back as they walked to his truck. This was one of the few times they were alone and not working a case, so they took every opportunity to do small gestures of affection.

“I’ve already planned out how much we can eat so we can save some for Vanessa.” Jay said as he opened the truck door for Hailey.

Since they started each other, Jay and Hailey had a habit of bringing home extras for the young officer. At first, it was a joke when Vanessa feigned hurt when they didn't come home with a to-go box, especially because the girl didn't cook that well. Months later, it was second nature to bring home a meal for her.

“We’re both lucky to have you.” Hailey grinned. Jay gently kissed her temple before closing the door. As he climbed into the driver’s seat, their radios started to chatter.

_ “Units in the 21st, we have calls about screams coming from 1100 block of Grant. Neighbors requesting welfare check for possible domestic abuse.” _

The partners locked eyes and simultaneously nodded, silently agreeing to respond.

“5021 Henry, plain clothes officers responding.”

* * *

“House looks like a shit show.” Jay said as he parked his truck in front of the run down house. From the outside, it looked like no one had done upkeep or any kind of maintenance on it in years. The paint was chipping, half of the shutters falling off, and bushes reaching well above the one-story building.

“I really don't get a good feeling about this.” Hailey said as she could feel the porch steps crumble with each ounce of her weight that she bore on it.

Jay knocked on the door, “CPD, we got some calls about screaming.” Of course, they were met with silence, which prompted another knock on the old, wooden door. “Did dispatch say who lives here?”

Hailey nodded her head, “No, the neighbors called it in.”

They looked around and noticed no one in any nearby houses were visible. It wasn't common that the caller didn’t meet the police, but this situation felt different. Both detectives drew their weapons before Jay forced his body weight into the door, not being surprised that it opened so easily.

The house was rather small, so it wasn't hard for the duo to split up and search the house quickly. They checked in every room, every closet, and behind every door yet nothing came up. Not only was nobody in the house, but there was hardly any furniture or signs of anyone living here in months.

“5021 George, can you run an address for ownership? 1138 Grant Street.”

_ “5021, address is owned by Joshua and Linda Bates. 3 property maintenance violations for structure and landscape in the last 6 months, but otherwise occupied.” _

Hailey started walking around the house again, this time peeping through windows to find anything unusual. A shed in the backyard caught her attention.

“Hey Jay, let’s go check it out.”

With caution, they approached the small shelter, which was more updated than the house. Regardless of the tarps on the roof, it appeared sturdier and made of both wood and metal. The door looked heavy, with new locks on it. Probably the only locks on the whole property.

They searched the property for anything to break the locks, but nothing was found lying around. Jay spotted a loose brick in the home’s foundation and managed to pull it free. Hailey watched in shock, and Jay just simply shrugged.

“I could have just used a bobby pin.”

“The house is trash anyway, this isn't going to do much.”

In no time, the detective was breaking the locks, adding a few dents into the metal door. The first lock was slightly rusted and easy to break, but the second one made Jay put in more effort. Hailey stood behind him, making sure no one would surprise them from behind. When they heard the lock finally snap, Jay dropped the brick and gripped his gun once more. He tapped his partner on the shoulder to let her know it was go time.

As soon as they opened the door, they were met the worst, gut-wrenching smell either of them had ever come in contact with. Their hands instantly covered their noses, and Jay swore his eyes were watering.

“There are 3 bodies.” Hailey shoved past her partner to get a better look. Despite a few gags, she got closer to the bodies. They were starting to turn green, except for the red ligature marks around their wrists and some dark bruises. They looked thin, and there weren't signs of food or water anywhere. “They've been here maybe a week? But the heat in here made it worse. This girl is maybe 13.” She pointed towards a girl who had an arm tied to the side of the shed. “These 2 look older but i can't really tell. Wanna call in forensics?” She gave one last look before leaving the shed, Jay close behind her.

“5021 George, we need forensics and an M.E. to 1138 Grant. Multiple DOAs.”

* * *

“What the hell happened?” Voight questioned as he walked onto the scene. 

“Neighbors called in some screams, so we responded. No one was inside, but we checked the shed and, well, I'd cover your nose.” Jay said as he lifted the yellow tape that surrounded the property. “We found 3 bodies, but don't have an ID on any of them yet.”

“Do we at least know who called?”

“Patrol did some knock and talks, but no one heard screams or admitted to the call.”

Voight let out a huff as they met Hailey at the shed. She just finished a conversation with a medical examiner as her boss walked up.

“M.E. said she couldn't tell the immediate causes of deaths, but one of them is definitely a teenager. The other two can't be older than 25.” At this point, the blonde didnt need to cover her nose anymore. Voight kept his hands in his pockets like usual, but the second detective tried his hardest not to quiver at the smell now radiating throughout the whole backyard.

Voight grunted, “Get some more statements and head to the station. Looks like you'll be doing more than paperwork for the rest of the day.”

As he left, Jay noticed that Hailey had a change in demeanor. It wasn't just the crime scene they were currently standing on, but her arms were crossed and he could just sense something was bothering her.

“Hey, you good?” He wrapped a caring hand around her elbow.

“Yeah, it’s just,” She rubbed her hands over her face, “we had a similar case when i was in New York. We found 6 dead women tied up in a basement. Then we found 3 more in a burned down house. We found the killer, but there were a lot of things that happened along the way.”

Jay could see the pain in her eyes, even when she tried to avoid eye contact. Since she came home, she rarely talked about her time with the FBI. She mentioned her former co-workers and what she did in her off time, but conversations about the cases she worked were kept at a minimum. She never brought them up, and he never questioned it.

“Hailey,” Jay laid a hand on her shoulder, “this isn’t going to end up like New York, okay? We’re gonna catch this guy before anything worse happens.”

She looked up at him and made eye contact with the green eyes she loved waking up to every morning. They gave each other a smile before deciding to finally take the statements Voight requested.

* * *

Within an hour, the unit had pictures on the white board and information ready to present to their sergeant.

“Katie Newsome, 23. Gabby Cooper, 24. Alyssa Silver, 14.” Kim started the brief as Adam wrote descriptions under the pictures. “All of them were reported missing within the last 3 weeks, all of them last seen at Millenium Park, but none of them have any connections between one another. Katie’s roommate said she went for a run and never came back. Gabby was on a date and Alyssa was with friends.”

“The owners of the house are Joshua and Linda Bates.” Adam pointed at pictures on the opposite end of the board. “Joshua has 2 misdemenors in burglary, Linda has a few speeding tickets. Neighbors said they’re pretty quiet and keep to themselves. Definitely not the kind of people you peg to be serial killers.”

“Is there a connection between the Bates and these women?” Voight questioned from the doorway of his office.

Kim shook her head, “No, none of their paths cross in anyway.”

“What about the 911 call? None of the neighbors said they did it.” Kevin piped up from his desk.

“We pinged the call, and it came from a burner 2 blocks away but it was turned off a minute later. Some serial killers thrive on attention, which these missing persons cases didn't have enough of, so maybe the killer called it in to get off on the publicity before they strike again.” Hailey spoke from her spot on the top of Jay's desk, something that wasn't out of the ordinary.

“Rojas and Atwater, track down the Bates. Ruzek and Burgess, go talk to the friends and family. Halstead and Upton, find some footage from the park and the house, they had to have been caught somewhere.”

* * *

After hours of tracking down security footage, Jay and Hailey finally found the videos of not only the kidnappings, but the women being dragged into the house’s backyard in the dead of night. They analyzed every second, which included all of them being suffocated by a rag, being harshly dragged into a car, before being carried onto the Bates’ property and never seen again. It was barely noon, and it had already been a long day for the detectives. Just from watching videos, Jay knew this case was getting tougher and tougher for his partner.

“You find anything that sticks out?” Jay asked as he turned off his monitor, wanting to take a break.

“Some of the footage is grainy but it looks like Joshua Bates, which is good, i guess.” Hailey also turned off her screen, “I’m going to get some coffee. You want some?”

Jay watched as the woman stood up, and could tell in her face she was already tired. She didn't say it, but he knew that the worst part for her was the kid that was involved. They looked at the missing persons report, which wasn’t filed for a whole week after her disappearance, and Kim had updated them to say her family didn't seem concerned. So not only was a previous case haunting Hailey, but a set of parents that didn't pay attention to their child.

“No, I'm good. I’m gonna take a walk.” Jay said while giving her an endearing smile. Hailey nodded and rested her hand on his shoulder for a second before walking to the break room.

Instead of walking outside to get some fresh air, Jay found himself walking straight to Sergeant Platt’s desk. He knew of her background with Hailey, like how Platt essentially saved her life when she was a kid. Platt was her mentor and a big reason as to why she became a cop in the first place.

“Hey Sarge, can I talk to you for a minute?”

“About?” The older woman questioned as she looked at him over the top of her reading glasses.

“Hailey.” He said softly. Trudy dropped her newspaper and sat her glasses on the desk. She motioned to another officer to cover before she followed Jay into a nearby hallway.

“What’s going on?” Platt said with some urgency in her voice.

“We kind of stumbled on this serial killer case, and she’s been pretty quiet since the start. She told me she had a similar case in New York, and a lot of things happened. I didn't ask, but i can just tell its bothering her.”

Platt could see the plea for help in the young man’s eyes. Even just watching the two interact from her spot behind the desk, she knew the two were close. She didn't quite know the extent, but she knew their partnership was something special.

“In no means am I a Hailey expert, but just sit her down and ask. I have no doubt that you know her better than anyone on the face of this planet, and if she’ll talk to anyone, it’s going to be you.” Jay looked at her with a small smile, taking in everything she said. “Jay, she looks at you like I've never seen anybody look at anything before. She’ll open up to you, it just might take some time.”

At this point, Jay was full on grinning. “Thanks, Sarge. I knew you would help.”

“Ah,” Trudy swatted at the air and shrugged, “it’s no big deal. I’m always here for you kids, even though I'm sure you’re the reasons my hair keeps getting greyer.”

“Gotta keep you on your toes.”

As they walked out of the hallway laughing, they heard a loud clang coming from the stairway. They watched as the gate doors were shut with a strong intensity, followed by a flash of blonde bolting past them.

“Hailey, what’s going on?” Jay said with concern, trying to grab her arm before she got too far away.

Hailey stopped dead in her tracks and turned on her heels to face him, “i was coming to find you. Vanessa called and said they spotted Bates at the park. We have to go now.”

Jay looked over at Platt, who nodded her head as she resumed position over her desk. In seconds, the detectives were jogging to his truck and on their way.

* * *

“Where is he?” 

Jay and Hailey met Vanessa and Kevin on one of the sidewalks near the iconic Big Bean. Shielding their badges and guns to blend in, they tried to look like tourists as they searched for their guy.

“He was standing by the garden pretending to look at the plants and he followed him here.” Kevin nodded in the guy’s direction towards the tip of the bean. He was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, nothing that stuck out. But he was alone and was just watching everyone enjoy the popular tourist attraction.

“Did you see his wife?” Jay questioned.

Vanessa shook her head, “No, he’s been alone the whole time.”

The 4 of them looked around. To add to their touristy appearance, Hailey whipped out her phone to take a selfie of them, making sure to angle the camera in Bates’ direction.

“He doesn’t notice us, so we should split up and watch him. See where he goes.”

At Hailey’s suggestion, everyone parted ways. She got closer to the bean while Jay and Vanessa took up space on the sidewalk, keeping distance between each other. Kevin went to the opposite side of the metallic structure, instantly but unexpectedly striking up a conversation with a group of young women while peaking at Bates every few seconds.

While Kim and Adam were somewhere in suburbs looking for his wife, the other members of the unit pretended to be on their phones or have short conversations with people before their suspect actually made a move. Hailey, who was “talking” on the phone, watched as he started to walk away from them and towards the parking lot.

“I’m going to follow him.” She quickly said into her walkie-talkie before following him at a far distance.

Jay, who was talking to a couple of guys about the Cubs upcoming series with the Cardinals, couldn't get away fast enough before she was out of view.

“Did you see where she went?” He worridly asked Kevin, who had looked away for a split second to see them gone the next.

“Nah, but I’d say the parking lots.” Now the 3 of them were together and trying to figure out which lot was the closest. There was a parking garage that could hold over 2,000 cars, but there were at least a dozen small parking lots that tourists got roped up into paying extra for.

Bates walked down a sidewalk before veering off into one of those lots. Without even thinking, Hailey followed him while trying to keep distance. When she rounded the corner, she was met with lines of cars, but he wasn't to be found. Taking the gun out of her waist band, she kept it close to her thigh as she weaved in and out of the rows, checking under a few cars that sat low, but high enough for someone to hide. She was about to reach for the phone in her back pocket before she was hit upside the head with something hard and shoved into the side of a pick-up truck.

“You think I wouldn't notice, blondie? I could sense you from a block away.” The man growled into her ear.

Hailey let out a whimper as she felt his elbow dig into the back of her neck. His other arm pinned her left hand against the truck, keeping her gun away from him.

“You don’t want to do this.” She managed to let out. He let out a low laugh before digging his elbow into her neck deeper.

Despite his firm grasp, she lodged her right elbow into his ribcage, loosening his grip and stumbling back a few inches. Her hand was still pinned against the truck, but she turned around as much as she could and punched him in the face with her other hand, making a solid connection between her fist and his cheek. It would have been a harder hit with her left, but it still did damage. 

After the initial short shock of being hit, he came to and whipped her around, still having a tight grip on the hand that held the gun. He rammed his forehead into hers hard enough that Hailey felt the skin above her eyebrow split open and blood instantly rush over her eye. He slammed her arm against the truck with an insane amount of force, so much that after a few hits, the truck had a decent sized dent, her knuckles were bleeding, and she had lost her grip and the weapon hit the ground. Hailey managed to kick it away before she felt a fist hit her abdomen, knocking all wind out of her.

“I don’t want to do what, stupid bitch.” He kicked one leg from under her and slammed her to the ground, making it even harder for her to breath. He climbed on top of her and landed another punch on her, this time across her face. “I have no problem taking out a cop, just like those 4 bitches.”

Hailey didn't even fully process what he said before she rammed her knee into his groin, making him topple over in pain. She got on her knees and started crawling towards her weapon that laid just a few feet away. She got incredibly close before she felt hands wrap around her ankles and the ground start to slide under her, certainly leaving scratches on her bare elbows as she continued to try to crawl away. When she wasn’t using her elbows to steady herself on the concrete, she kicked her legs and eventually felt the heel of her boots hit his torso a few times. His loosened grip gave her enough time to finally reach her gun, flipped over and point it in his direction, cocked and fully loaded with ammo. She could hear her name being called in the distance as Bates raised his hands, letting out a few laughs when the realization of him being caught finally hit him.

“Hailey!” Jay yelled, seeing the top of her head poking out from the end of a car. He swore he felt his heart drop into the depths of his stomach when he saw her laying on the ground, covered in blood and finger wrapped around the trigger of her Glock. He signalled to Vanessa and Kevin to go on the other side of the cars and take Bates from behind. “Hailey, it’s me. You’re okay now.” 

From where she was, she saw the officers go behind the man and push him to the ground and quickly put him in cuffs. Surprisingly, he didn't put up a fight as they searched him and harshly pulled him to his feet, finding nothing but a cell phone and wallet in his pockets. Eventually, Hailey lowered her weapon and slowly started to sit up, the pain from her injuries finally starting to make an appearance.

“5021 George, I need back-up and an ambulance at 19 North Michigan. Officer injured and offender in custody.”

Jay sat his radio on the ground as he kneeled in front of Hailey. He placed a hand on the side of her face and gently touched his thumb to her eyebrow, earning a wince from his partner. She looked at her arms and could already see the bruises start to form from where it was bashed into the truck, not to mention the trickles of blood that came from each new cut.

“God, Hailey, what happened?” He asked as he wiped some blood out of her eye.

“He snuck up behind me and he pinned me. I should have shot when I had the chance.” When she looked up at him, he could see the anger in her eyes and he felt his heart drop again. He knew how badly she wanted to catch him, and he should have been here with her.

Hailey touched the back of her head to feel a sizable lump already forming, but luckily no blood. She didn't know what she was hit with, but she was certain that she would feel the full effects later. As Jay helped her to her feet, the ambulance pulled into the parking lot and came to a halt in front of them. A few police cars also piled into the gated area, but the detectives were more focused on the paramedics quickly rushing to their side. 

“Another day at the office?” Brett tried to lighten the mood as she pulled some antibacterial wipes and bandages from a first aid kit.

“You could say that.”

* * *

During Hailey’s very long hospital visit (or at least she thought), the team had wrapped the case. Bates admitted to not only killing the 3 women, but also his wife, who was found buried in the crawl space of the house. It wasnt hard for him to admit to when they told him his lengthy charge sheet of 3 aggravated kidnappings, 4 homicides, and attempted murder of a peace officer. When Jay brought her back to the district, she expected to not even make it past the front steps. The woman had 13 stitches, bandages on both of her arms, and a brace on her left wrist due to some pretty harsh bone bruising she took. If Trudy wasn't going to stop her at first look, then her own sergeant was bound to. 

Instead, she made it up the stairs and through the gate. She even stopped to talk to Kevin and Adam before she was called into Voight’s office, shutting the door behind her.

“You did good work today, Hailey. You got the guy, but this,” He motioned to the upper half of her beaten body. “This can't happen again.”

“I know, Sarge. My head wasn't on a swivel like it should have. It won't happen again.” She rubbed her forearms where the tan bandages dug into her skin. No one could see them under the flannel Jay gave her in the car, but they filled the sleeves more than her bare arms would have.

Voight grunted, “Good. Now what did the doctor say?”

“Light duty for a few days. I just have to wear the bandages to prevent infection and the brace is just to prevent me moving it a lot. That’ll be off by the end of the weekend.”

“What about your head?”

Above Hailey’s eyebrow sat 13 black stitches that would probably leave a scar. At the moment she got the cut, she thought it just bled a lot because it was her head. Turned out his head hit her’s a hell of a lot harder than she thought.

“Stitches get taken out next week. No concussion though.” 

Voight’s hardened demeanor softened a bit. He cared a lot about his team and he didn't take their injuries well. “Take the weekend off and get some rest. You can finish the paperwork on Monday.”

Hailey gladly accepted and thanked her boss before leaving his office. Shutting the door, she took a breath of relief as it was another incident that she wouldn't get yelled at for. Jay was lounging in his chair facing her when he raised his eyebrows, one of their silent signals that she instantly understood.

“I’m all good. I’m gonna head home though, I’ll talk to you later.” She gave him a warm smile before saying bye to the rest of her unit, as they still had to stay for a few hours. She would make sure she had a new bottle of whiskey ready when he got home as they both needed it.

* * *

Jay was exhausted when he pulled into the driveway of the house. The one thing he hated more than hospitals was watching his girlfriend being treated in one. He stayed by her side through every shot of numbing medicine, every stitch, and every wrap of the bandage. If it wasnt for the unexpected chase and adrenaline after seeing Hailey covered in blood, he would have been fine. He didn't even finish the paperwork and promised himself he would come in for a few hours the next morning and finish.

When he walked in the door, he heard the TV in the living room and saw Hailey sitting on the couch. She was still wearing his flannel, but was wrapped up in a blanket and nursing a glass of alcohol. Finding a new bottle in the kitchen, he poured himself a cup before joining her on the couch.

"You already look better." Jay said as he kissed the top of her head. He could feel the small bump from where she was hit from behind.

"I wish I felt better." Hailey tried to wiggle her fingers and instantly winced at the pain it brought. If it wasn't for the numbing medicine on her eyebrow, that probably would have hurt, too.

“In a week, you’ll be good as new. Where’s Vanessa?”

“Molly’s. I told her to take a few shots for me.” She chuckled as she leaned into Jay, resting her head on his shoulder.

They cuddled for a few minutes, mindlessly watching Brooklyn 99, until the doorbell rang. Jay took another drink before excusing himself, making sure to re-wrap Hailey in her blanket before leaving.

“Who is it?” She yelled as she heard a male’s voice at the door.

Jay didn't answer, but instead returned with a box that read Bartoli’s on it. He sat it on the coffee table in front of her, opening the lid to reveal a hot deep dish pizza and a couple of bread sticks.

“We couldn't go out and enjoy pizza, so i decided to bring it home. I ordered it on my way home.” 

In that moment, Hailey forgot about her pain and overall how shitty her day had become. Watching Jay smile while handing her a slice of pizza pushed all the thoughts of that day to the back of her mind. Jay himself could feel his heart leap from his chest as she also smiled, smelling the food that made her mouth water just thinking of it that morning.

Hailey kissed his cheek, “You are literally the best. I love you.”

Both of them paused their actions for a second as the last 3 words set in. It slipped out, but she wasn't just saying it in the moment. She watched as Jay smiled wider than before and continued to cut his own slice.

“I love you, too. I swear you give me more heart attacks than anyone in my life, but I mean it. I love ya, Hailes.”

“Thank God.” Hailey laughed before giving him another kiss, this time on the mouth. It definitely wasn't the night they expected, but they couldn't have asked for anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> domestic!upstead? check. hurt!hailey? check. platt advice? check!  
> hope you liked this chapter!! feel free to comment you opinions, i love reading them. thanks for reading!!


	7. it's a long story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of hailey's unspoken past comes to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: talks of abuse & alcoholism

**_August 3, 2020_ **

“So when is Jay officially moving in?” Vanessa asked, causing Hailey to choke on the coffee she was drinking. “Or are we going to keep pretending he doesn't have a separate apartment? The man is over all the time.”

The somewhat new officer started to laugh at her roommate, who now had coffee going down her chin. They were at a crime scene, and wasn't expecting to be caught off guard with questions about her boyfriend who was still loosely kept under wraps.

“I don't know. Maybe I’ll move into his apartment.” Hailey gave a devilish grin, knowing how her best friend would react.

“That's not funny, Hailey.” Vanessa pouted.

At this point, living with Hailey was a way of life that Vanessa didn't want to leave. They went grocery shopping together and split the bills almost perfectly even, they even lived on opposite floors to give each other privacy. In the back of her mind, she knew she would have to move out one day, but she didn’t mind making an extra plate of food at their weekly Wednesday night dinners or walking into the kitchen every morning to find Jay, usually shirtless, pouring 2 cups of coffee.

Hailey laughed, “We haven't talked about it, really. You’re okay with him moving in?”

The topic of Jay staying at their place never came up between the two women. At first, he would come over and have drinks after a hard case. Then it slowly progressed to him staying the night once and he never really left. Jay was probably the best thing to happen to Hailey, and Vanessa got to see that first hand.

“I wouldn't want it any other way. I can't even picture Jay not staying with us.”

The girls smiled and bumped shoulders as they walked up to the yellow crime scene tape. Adam was looking at a dead body that laid in an empty alley. There was a lot of evidence left behind, including the probable offender’s wallet, so this would be a case that wouldn't keep them past normal working hours.

“Someone was walking by and saw him lying here. There's some scratches on his arms and hands, but the 2 gun shots in his chest did the job. Looks like there was a fight, the offender shot him, then got scared and ran off.” Adam held up a few clear evidence bags holding a handgun, wallet, a cell phone, and a small baggie of weed. “The guys at the lab can have the fingerprints done in 2 hours tops. And there’s cameras everywhere. Kevin is getting the footage now.”

Suddenly, a loud roar from a motorcycle came within ear shot. It caught the attention of the three of them and they watched as it came to a slow stop outside of the tape. The man on it took off his helmet and flashed his badge to nearby patrol officers. It was Jay Halstead in his full, hot, messy hair glory.

“Sorry, I was riding with Severide when I got the call. What happened?”

As Adam gave Jay the rundown on the new case, Hailey couldn't help but stare at the man in front of her. She knew he had a motorcycle, he would tell stories all the time. But this was the first time she had actually seen him on it, dressed in all black, sweaty from the Chicago summer heat. If she would have known he looked this good, she would have asked him to ride it more often.

“So Jay, you wanna take the guy's wallet and try to find his file?” Adam asked as Vanessa elbowed Hailey, bringing her back to reality.

“Yeah, I’m on it. I’ll meet you guys at the district.” He took the evidence bag and put it in his backpack, something Hailey didn't even notice he was carrying.

When he started to walk away, Hailey excused herself from the group to follow him to his black Harley Davidson bike. It looked like the boys had been riding around dirt roads, as she noticed a faint layer of dust that settled on the bottom of his bike and his boots.

“So, you really do ride a motorcycle.” 

Jay laughed, “Yeah, not as much as i used to. Don't worry, I dont ride crazy or do anything stupid.”

“I'm happy about that, I'm just wondering why you never bring it by the house.” She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, smirking at him.

Jay adjusted himself on the bike, placing his helmet in his lap. “I’ll make sure to bring it home tonight.”

“Please do.” Hailey winked at him before rejoining the team. Jay watched her walk off, nodding his head at the situation he couldn't wait to get himself into that night.

* * *

Jay dropped a stack of files onto his desk, the sound echoing throughout the empty bullpen. He was searching for the name Aaron Urban, and he decided that sifting through all the files with similar names at his desk was better than searching for one file in a stuffy and cramped room. Nothing caught his eye until he read ‘Upton, Nikolas D.’ on the edge of one of the tan files. Upton was a fairly common name, but it didn't stop him from opening the file and hoping there wasn't a relation to Hailey. Before he could flip past a pretty rough mugshot, the name of another file caught his eye: Upton, Hailey A. Hearing the downstairs gate start to buzz, he scrambled to close the file and shove both of them in his desk drawer. He managed to compose himself and look busy before members of his team filed into the room.

“Lab already confirmed his prints are on the gun. Did you find his file?” Adam asked as he flung himself into his chair.

“Uh, yeah, right here.” Jay held up the tan folder labeled Urban, Aaron J. “He has 1 prior for shoplifting less than $100 and 2 for marijuana possession of more than 2.5 grams. Did a month in county 6 months ago.”

He handed the file to Hailey, who was sitting on the top of her desk rather than in her chair. She flipped through it, skimming his information before passing it to the others.

“He lives on Park street, which isn't too far from here. Wanna go pick him up?” The blonde asked her partner as she watched him restack the files.

Jay shook his head, “I gotta return these before Platt has a fit. Why don't you take Kim.”

From her own desk, Kim nodded her head and stood up, ready to leave once more. Hailey gave the man a soft smile before leaving herself. With the other people in the room, he knew he wouldn't be able to read the files in his desk, but there was no way he was putting them back now.

* * *

“Jay?”

Hailey announced herself as she walked into the garage of the 21st. It was filled with an undercover car and products from a raid the day before, but she walked past that to enter the room that held computers and the giant TV they looked at surveillance footage from. She found Jay standing behind a desk, facing her with something in his hands.

“What’s going on?”

“You tell me. I found these.”

He opened the files and laid them on the desk in front of them. She looked at him as if he was serious before actually looking at what was in front of her. She held a picture of her dad before glancing at her own.

“I’m sorry if this violates some kind of privacy thing, but Hailey,” His voice was soft, but his eyebrows were raised in seriousness, “what happened?”

“How did you even find these?”

“They were in the stack of files I had while trying to find Urban’s. But you didn't answer my question.”

Hailey took a deep breath, dropping the pictures as she sat down. “Jay, it’s a long story.”

He looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes, and instantly regretted bringing up the situation, especially at work. He knew any conversation about her dad was tough, but all he cared about was getting answers.

“I’m sorry, Hailes. It was rude of me to bring it up here. If you wanna talk about it later, we can. I’m not gonna force you.” He also sat down, stretching his arm across the desks to rest his hand on her forearm, rubbing small circles with his thumb.

“Might as well talk about it now.” She moved her arm away from his touch. She sifted through her dad’s file to find a police report dated 20DEC2010. “I was home from college for the holidays. Noah was staying with his girlfriend out of town and Blake was coming home that day. He was drinking almost the whole time I was there. No big deal, I was used to it. But Blake came home late, and my dad started yelling and throwing things and I just...snapped.”

She handed the paper to Jay. He had already read it and knew that Blake was the one that called the cops and filed charges for domestic battery. He read the details about his high alcohol content, all the things broken, his fight with Hailey. She pulled the police report from her own file and handed it to him.

“He tried going after Blake and I couldn't handle it anymore. He told me to stand down because things were getting pretty crazy anyway. I got in between them and my dad punched me in the mouth.” Her mugshot featured a pretty swollen split lip, so it made sense. “It was technically by accident, my dad was aiming for Blake. Blake called the cops, but I started going in on my dad. I got a few good punches in before the cops came. He got two domestic battery misdemeanors, a few months in jail and a fine. I got a domestic because the officers said I was doing more than self defense.” She scoffed before continuing, “I was released the next day and had to pay a fine. When I went back to college the next semester, I changed my major from pre-law to criminal justice.”

At that point, she had nothing but Jay’s attention. He wanted to know what happened, but now he felt guilty as she explained every detail with a strained voice, like tears would creep up any minute. She explained all the times that the police came to her house, but nothing was ever filed because her mom didnt want to charge him. She said she didn't care anymore, but deep down she did, and he knew it. His abuse was the reason why she joined the police department, and this event specifically put that into action.

“All of this stuff,” She swept the files to the side, “isn’t me. He triggered something in me that night that won't happen again. I've grown since then, moved past it. It’s not me.”

She made eye contact with him, staring into his beautiful green eyes. He broke iit for half a second to grab her hand and held it in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“I know, Hailey. I know who you are and I get it. He was a bad guy and you don't deserve that.” He gave a soft smile, causing her to give him one in return. “What happened after all of that?”

Hailey shrugged, “As far as I know, my parents still live in the same house. I haven't seen them since that night, and I haven't even talked to my brothers in 6 years.”

Jay brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed them. “Well i’m not going anywhere anytime soon.”

“Good.” She laughed and looked at all the papers, now mixed together in one pile. “When did you have to return these?”

“Like 2 hours ago. I’ll just win Platt over with my good looks and charm.” 

“Okay, good luck with that.” She laughed as he pretended to be hurt. They reorganized the files and rejoined the unit upstairs as if they had never left.

* * *

“So, this bike,” Hailey started her sentence as they stood in the precinct parking lot next to the motorcycle, now clean from it’s earlier adventures. 

“Don’t worry, I’m going to take it back to my apartment. I gotta use the parking spot I pay for somehow.” He wiped a couple of dirty spots that only his eyes could see.

“About your apartment,” Hailey paused as she waited for his full attention, “I know we’re supposed to keep this quiet and we haven't even been dating that long, but i kind of want you to move in with me. You basically already live there, and you wouldn't have to pay for a place you don't stay at.”

Jay adjusted the helmet in his hands and stayed quiet. Hailey nervously rocked back and forth, scared she crossed a line. She scratched at the faint pink scar above her eyebrow, a new nervous tic she developed in the last 2 weeks. Before she could speak up again, he smiled and got excited.

“Of course I’ll move in, Hailes. I've been waiting for you to ask.”

Hailey put a hand on her chest, feeling her heart beat fast. “You scared the shit out of me. I think i'll take my offer back.”

She started to walk away before he grabbed her hand, pulling her close to him. With a quick glance around the lot to find no one around them, he leaned down and gave her a warm kiss. She could still smell the oil and dirt from his ride earlier, a scent she didn't know she liked on him. When he pulled away, she wrapped a hand around his neck and pulled him in for another short kiss.

“If we’re gonna keep doing this, we need to fill out those HR forms ASAP.” Jay laughed as he pulled away, straightening himself out.

Hailey nodded her head in agreement, “I’m going to clear some space in the garage. Ill see you at home. Please, bring the motorcycle."

Jay smirked and nodded his head. Before, home was something that easily rolled off the tongue to mean Hailey’s house. Now, it had a new meaning to the both of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is one of the shorter chapters but i wrote it kind of fast, spit balling it along the way. i also realized i add dates at the beginning for no real reason, because my plan for this fic went in another direction then usually intended haha. im also a super big sucker for domestic upstead, so expect more, especially to close off the chhapters.  
> Hope you guys enjoyed! please share, leave kudos and tell me what you think in the comments!


	8. they're good for each other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> everyone's viewpoints on when they realized jay and hailey were a couple!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think someone posted something similar to this (a view points thing). i promise i didnt steal anything! i was currently writing when i saw that story ahh. please enjoy!

**_Vanessa_ **

Vanessa saw first hand how Hailey fell in love with Jay. Before she even moved in with the detective, she could see how they acted around each other at work. In the break room, the locker room, even during a raid, she could tell how close they were and the amount of care and respect they had for one other. Those amounts did not lower when they were off shift, either. If anything, it grew. At Molly’s, they usually sat next to each other, and they knew what the other drank. They even drove each other home if one had a little too many drinks. It wasn't uncommon for one to quit drinking early so the other could sober up enough for the drive.

If they weren't drinking at Molly’s, then Jay could usually be found in their kitchen sharing a bottle of alcohol with Hailey. At first, it kind of shocked Vanessa. Seeing Jay at work all day, then coming home to see him. But she saw how happy Hailey was with him, even after a tough case, and open they were with each other. Over time, he came over more often and they even included Vanessa in their late night conversations. The first time she realized there was something romantic happening between them, it didn't shock her at all. If anything, she expected it to happen sooner. 

She came home late one night, and saw his truck sitting in front of their house. Not uncommon. But when she unlocked the door, all the lights were off and they weren't sitting in their usual spots on the kitchen stools. 2 empty glasses and a half-full bottle of whiskey sat on the table. Vanessa shrugged and grabbed the cups, deciding she would put them in the sink. On her way, she tripped over a shirt, nearly crushing the cups on the corner of the counter. She picked it up, seeing that it was way too big to be one of Hailey’s t-shirts. She looked around to see if there were any other loose pieces of clothing, finding nothing. She laughed to herself, folded it and placed it on the table. The next morning, she woke up and decided to pour herself a cup of coffee. In the middle of the kitchen, she saw Jay, shirtless, curiously looking at the folded shirt.

“Hm, so that’s where that went.” He said as he noticed Vanessa standing in the opening of the kitchen. “It’s not what it looks like-” He down at the shirt in his hands, then at his bare torso. “Okay, maybe it is.”

“I see you, Jay Halstead.” She smirked as she grabbed 3 mugs out of the cabinet and started brewing coffee. “Just don't hurt her. She cares a lot about you.”

Jay smiled, “I’m not, I promise. Can you do me a favor and not bring this up, to like, anyone?”

“Your secret is safe with me.”

Jay kept his promise, and he also never left his clothes downstairs again.

  
  
  


**_Kim_ **

Being any good (should be) detective, Kim used her skills even off duty. At first, she noticed them leaving Molly’s together. Not uncommon, Jay was always protective of Hailey and liked to make sure she got home safe. The best way to do that was not drink the last few beers offered so he was sober enough to drive Hailey home.

Then there was the surveillance van. When it was just Kim and Hailey, they liked to talk. They were girls, after all. During one surveillance mission, the time was dragging on forever. They parked the van early in the morning and almost nothing was happening, so they talked to entertain themselves. In between conversations of favorite coffee shops and best arrest stories, Hailey’s phone was constantly vibrating from texts. She tried not to look at her phone to not be rude, but every so often she would peak at it and smile, continuing with the conversation while doing so. Kim, being naturally curious, would also quickly peak at the phone. Not to find out what was being said, but to know who it was from. It was  _ early, _ and who could possibly be texting so much. At first, she just saw that it was a couple letters. A short name. Every guy in the unit had a short name. But then she saw the first letter, a J. It wasn't until Hailey was showing her a picture and another text came through,

_ Jay - hope something exciting happens soon. I'll be waiting in the bullpen for you, gorgeous. _

Hailey swiped it away rather quickly, but Kim could read quicker. Since Hailey didn't bring it up, neither did Kim. After that, something exciting did happen, a drug deal they were waiting for, and Jay was waiting in the bullpen like he said he would be.

If that didn't confirm anything, then watching them kiss in the parking lot of District 21 did. Despite the couple looking around to see if anyone was in the lot, they obviously didn't anticipate anyone going to the lot. Kim was walking with someone from her patrol days when she noticed the tall man leaning over Hailey, his lips firmly planted on the blonde’s. She stopped in her tracks, grabbing the officer’s arm to stop with her. He was confused, but his questions were shushed by Kim, who was intently watching as they gave each other a final peck and separated. The officer followed her gaze, but still didn't catch onto why they still stood there, feeling the sun beat on their faces instead of walking to their cars.

“I fucking knew it.” Kim muttered, feeling a sense of pride that for months, she knew what was going on.

They waited another minute before they started walking again, picking up where their conversation left off on, making sure to walk past the couple. They exchanged a few waves and none of them acted out of the ordinary.

“Let me guess, we weren’t supposed to see that.” Kim’s friend said before parting ways.

“Probably not. I'll make fun of them later for it.”

And in true Kim fashion, she in fact teased them over beers a few weeks later.

**_Kevin_ **

The three of them were doing undercover at a nightclub together. The goal was to find a low level dealer who was a frequent visitor of the club, and Voight decided that the three of them would be the ones to find him. At first, the three of them were separated to cover more areas of the club, but they could also keep an eye on each other. Hailey watched from the bar, Jay was at a table, and Kevin sat near the stairs. For a while nothing happened, and they thought maybe it was the dealer’s day off. No one had seen him, and Kevin’s CI was getting anxious at the thought of him not appearing. He was about to call it quits into the wire when he saw someone approach Hailey. It wasn't  _ the  _ guy, but it was a stranger none of them knew.

While keeping tabs on the detective, in case she got into any danger, he caught Jay move from his table. Kevin watched as he came up behind her and snaked an arm around her shoulder.

_ Hey babe, sorry i was gone for so long. Who’s this? _

The tone of Jay’s voice had changed, and heard the man scoff. Kevin tensed up and moved closer, not only to get a better view but to break up anything that could potentially happen.

_ You’ve been sitting here, by yourself, all night. No way this is your boy. _

Jay got closer to Hailey, asserting whatever male dominance he had.

_ I was meeting her, and I was late. Is there a problem with that? _

Hailey put a hand on his chest, wanting him to calm down. The last thing she needed was for him to start another fight during an undercover op.

_ Nah, I just don't believe you. _

From his new spot, he could see Jay smirk while he spun Hailey to face him. She put her hands on each side of his torso as he leaned down and enveloped her in a long, hot kiss. The guy groaned and walked away. The kiss was almost too long for Kevin to watch. He had been on multiple stake outs with the two, and this was a first. He coughed into the mic, trying to grab their attention.

_ Hey guys, I think we should leave. I'm not seeing him. _

The couple separated and laughed, forgetting that their friend was nearby. Jay turned around and nodded at him, his cheeky smile not leaving his face. Hailey grabbed her purse before walking towards the exit, holding hands with Jay along the way. When they saw Kevin outside, they let out another laugh.

“Sorry about that, bud. We kinda forgot you were there.” Jay patted Kevin on the shoulder as Hailey’s face got red.

“As long as I can never see that again, it’s alright.” 

“Can’t promise you that.” Jay slyly said as he winked at Hailey. He shoved his hands in his pockets as Kevin looked between the two. They were close at work, but he never thought they were  _ this  _ close outside of work.

“I’ll just pretend like I never saw it.” He groaned as they made their way to his car, all of them having a good laugh as they drove back to the district.

  
  


**_Trudy & Voight_ **

The sergeants had been friends for years, basically considered each other family. One thing they did throughout the years was have coffee together. Trudy tended to get to work earlier than Hank, so they tended to meet on the weekends when neither of them were busy. They always did the same thing - get coffee, eat some breakfast, and share many stories that they had over their careers. It was a nice break in the chaos of their lives, and it was usually a time when they wouldn't see any of their younger co-workers. Usually.

On a Sunday morning, while Trudy’s husband Mouch had work and there were no active cases, the two met in downtown Chicago to enjoy breakfast. They walked down the sidewalk, talking as they looked into the windows of the many shops and restaurants that populated the area. When Trudy looked into one window, she noticed two individuals that looked oddly familiar. They were in a restaurant, laughing over half eaten omelets and playing with each other's fingers on the table.

Trudy stopped Hank, “Is that...Hailey and Jay? On a Sunday morning?”

Hank looked into the window, watching his detectives enjoy themselves.

“Looks like it.”

He started to walk away as Trudy continued to watch them, ignoring the people on the other side of the window that could see them

“Are they dating? And you know about it?” She asked in disbelief. She’s known the two for years, and knew neither of them were morning people, much less the kind of people to get an early morning breakfast.

Voight shrugged, “Yeah. I’ve known for a while. I know everything.” He jokingly winked at his fellow sergeant.

“So they haven’t told you.” She finally walked away from the restaurant and met up with him.

“No, but I trust them more than the other goof balls in the unit. This isn't the first time I've seen them out.”

He saw how close they were at work, but he specifically remembered a night when he was having dinner with a buddy, and saw the two walking down the sidewalk, hand in hand, and Jay giving her small kisses on the top of her head.

“Wanna surprise them?” Trudy asked nonchalantly, not being able to pass up a moment to mess with her juniors. Hank shrugged and followed her into the restaurant.

The place was more modern, something different from the old timey, family owned places that they were used to. The place smelled of bacon and coffee, which was better than the cigarette smell they grew accustomed to. The first person who saw them was Hailey. She was facing the door and instantly looked down at the table, trying to hide the shock in her face. She wasn't holding Jay’s hand anymore, but instead her fork in one hand and her coffee in another. Jay saw the shock in her face and attempted to turn around, but was stopped by Hailey’s protests.

“Hey guys!” Trudy said with enthusiasm, Hank following behind her. 

“Hey Trudy...and Hank.” Jay said, his shock now equally matching his girlfriend’s.

“Nice to see you guys on a Sunday morning. Beautiful out, huh?” 

Hailey crossed her arms on the table, “What are you guys doing out?”

“We meet up for breakfast every once in a while. What do you suggest?”

Before either of them could answer, the waitress stopped at the table and handed Jay the check and two to-go cups of coffee. He gave the lady a soft smile before he frowned, feeling the tip of Hailey’s boot connect with his shin. He looked at her as she was tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, eyeing him to signal that she wanted to leave.

“Omelets are pretty good, but we better get going. It’s going to fill up here quickly. Have a nice day.” Jay stood up from the table and shook Voight’s hand. His face having ‘this wasn't my idea’ written all over it.

“See you guys in the morning.” Trudy waived at the couple as they walked towards the cash register. “That was pretty fun.”

They made their way to their own table, sitting in the booth across from each other.

“The paperwork they’ll eventually put in won't be.” He groaned as he thought of the department’s mandatory forms and how many signatures he would make. Trudy laughed as she swatted his arm, catching a glimpse of the couple outside. Jay was opening a car door for Hailey before quickly making it to the driver’s side.

“You gotta admit, Hank, they are pretty cute. They're good for each other.”

“As long as they keep their private life at home, i’m okay with it.” 

**_Adam_ **

It was a casual Friday night at Molly’s. The unit sat around 2 combined tables and enjoyed each other's company as the crowd grew with friendly faces and the music played over the speakers. The night started off with Kevin buying everyone beers - a result in a bet he lost regarding who would be the first to fall during a chase in the rain. After a few jokes, some stories, and more rounds of beer, Hailey decided she would be the next one to buy. When she left, Jay also excused him to help her carry all the bottles. While they were at the bar, Adam noticed Jay standing very close to her. He watched as he ran his fingers along the length of her back, quickly tapping her ass before Hailey playfully hit his arm.

“Did i just watch...are Jay and Hailey...like a thing?” Adam gawked as his beer bottle missed his mouth.

Kim laughed, “Are you just now noticing?”

“Yeah dude, it's been happening for a minute now.” Kevin also laughed, nudging his elbow into oblivious friend’s side.

“I didn't- wait, you all know!?” He exclaimed as everyone took a drink, looking in different directions and pretending like they didnt know anything.

“We come bearing gifts.” Hailey happily said as she started sitting the cold bottles on the table. They noticed all of their friends smirking towards Adam. 

“What’s going on guys? Ruz?” Jay said as he took his spot on a stool.

“You guys just weren't going to tell you're dating?” He asked in an offended tone. This caused the couple to laugh.

“We didn't really tell anyone. They just found out.” Hailey shrugged as everyone else nodded. She felt Jay slip his hand onto her thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Adam pouted, “but i’m the last to find out. And to think we were friends!”

Jay chuckled, before looking around. He saw Matt Casey and called him over to the table. “Hey Casey, sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to tell you Hailey and I are dating.”

Casey slapped the table, “Congrats guys!” He tipped his own beer bottle towards the detective, who tipped his to the tops clanked.

“See Ruz, you weren't the last one.” 

Casey laughed before going back to his own group. Adam groaned as he took a drink from his new bottle.

“Anything else i should know about?”

“I’m moving into Hailey’s place tomorrow is anyone wants to help.” Jay said casually. Everyone chimed in, saying they would help in any way possible. One of the perks of working with close friends.

“Count me in. I’m happy for you guys.” Adam said with a smile. His own relationship with Hailey might not have ended the way he wanted, but she was still a great friend and realized how much happier she had been in the past few months. “How about some shots? I could go for some shots.”

Everyone laughed again as he left the table. Jay kissed the side of Hailey’s head before Kevin started telling a story about his patrol days with Kim. All of the fears that they had about everyone finding out about their relationship was quickly pushed out of their heads as they realized they always had the support from the goofy friends they called family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fluffy upstead, yay! hope you guys enjoy this chapter! let me know what you guys think in the comments!


	9. finally call this home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hailey and jay move in together!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to puckluck28 on tumblr for some of the cute ideas. literally would not know what i would do without her brilliance.

**August 8, 2020**

Jay was no stranger to moving. Although he lived in one house throughout his childhood, the Army taught him to pack light and except to pick up everything and move at any given time. When he went to basic training, he left home with nothing except for the clothes on his back, some stamps, and a small journal that contained important addresses and phone numbers. Those clothes got shipped home, but he added multiple uniforms and a heavy rucksack full of items that would help him survive in any environment he was sent to. He was stationed at one base, Fort Benning, Georgia, throughout his military career, but that didn't stop him from constantly moving from barracks to barracks, tents in a training field, or a couple of weeks on a buddy’s couch every now and then. Then came Afghanistan, where he only brought the essentials so it was easier to travel through the desert or woods. You had to bring all your belongings with you, because there was a good chance it would be gone if you came back.

When he came home, back to Chicago, moving around didn't get easier. He kept the same “pack light” mentality for years. He lived in his childhood bedroom for a few months, until his dad started so many arguments and one night he packed all his things, a box and 2 back packs, and moved in with a friend. When he went to the police academy, he lived in a big room with dozens of other recruits, getting a whole locker to himself. When he graduated and finally became a police officer, he lived with a few academy friends. That lasted a few years, until they all started to get married and move out. He became pretty accustomed to living on his own at this point, so he finally got an apartment of his own. He filled it with things he wanted, even decorated a little, but undercover ops brought out that same box and 2 backpacks so he could live in temporary, run down rooms until he could go back home.

Moving in with Erin Lindsay was the first time he lived with a girlfriend. Moving his things into her place, combining their different styles to live in a place they thought would be permanent. His ex-wife reappearing and messing with his mental state ended it soon, as he decided to stay with his brother Will for a few days. Those few days turned into weeks, and before he knew it, he was moving into his own apartment again. He wanted to go back, but they never agreed on the same thing and before he knew it, she was gone. It took a few years, and Hailey going to New York, for Jay to realize he found something better, something more stable with her. A part of his mind was telling him to “pack light” when she asked him to move in, but this situation was different. It wasn't a temporary relationship, and he didn't have an overnight bag. He felt like he was moving into his forever home with the woman he loved, Hailey Upton.

* * *

“Your bed frame looks better than mine.” Hailey said as she stood next to his bed, boxes laying all over the floor. She gave it a soft kick, causing a few pieces to fall from the bottom and half the mattress to collapse.

“I was gonna throw it away anyway.” Jay shrugged as Hailey sheepishly walked away. “Can you hand me those cups?”

Hailey handed him the sports-themed glass cups. They featured the Chicago Cubs, Bears, and Blackhawks, and showed different records they achieved or scores from major events won in each sport respectively. Jay carefully wrapped them in bubble wrap and placed them in the cardboard box labeled “kitchen stuff”.

Adam and Kevin emerged into the apartment, stretching their arms after carrying a heavy TV stand that the couple agreed would replace the one in the office that they would now share. Kim had left early to meet with a CI and Vanessa was at the house cleaning and rearranging.

“What’s next, big dog?” Kevin said before chugging an entire water bottle. 

“Most of this stuff is being sold or thrown away, so i guess just the bookcase and the rest of the kitchen stuff.” He looked around his barely filled apartment. Hailey and Jay have been moving out small things, like pictures, clothes, and light boxes, throughout the week. Jay had agreed to sell his couch and kitchen table to a friend while the rest of his Amazon supplied furniture would be thrown away.

“What about the bed?” Adam said as he pointed towards the bedroom.

“Hailey’s is way better,” Jay smirked, “so i guess it’ll go to the dump, too.”

“Can I have it? My Walmart mattress isn't cutting it anymore.” The officer inquired.

“Uh, sure? I bought it like a year ago, it’s still pretty solid.”

Adam cheered to himself as he took a mental note to buy a new frame, as the current one was now busted. Kevin laughed at his friend as he picked up the ‘kitchen stuff’ box, now sealed in tape. Hailey also grabbed a box after making sure Jay and Adam could carry the bookcase down the stairs, not falling in the process. Thank god Jay had a truck with a decent sized bed.

* * *

“Where did the boys go?” Hailey questioned from the garage as Jay got out of his truck. After moving the rest of the items, Hailey decided to stay behind and unpack some things while the boys went back to the apartment, doing God knows what.

“I told them to call it a night. Austin from patrol is coming by tomorrow to buy those things, and then the apartment is no longer in my name.” He smiled as he dropped the final box and a bag full of bathroom things. He gave Hailey a quick kiss, both of them now smiling.

“Oh my gosh,  _ Jay. _ ” Hailey started laughing a few minutes later, as she was holding a dusty yearbook from Bridgeport Catholic Academy, Class of 2003.

“Gimme that.” Jay tried to swipe the book from her, but Hailey quickly and moved away, out of arm's length from the man.

“ _ James _ Halstead, voted class prankster. James?” Hailey laughed as she read.

“I hate that name. I’ve gone by Jay since I was 5.” He shook his head, watching her flip through the endless amounts of pages that often featured a baby faced, 18 year old Jay.

Hailey stopped flipped when she came to a page titled “Our Future Heroes”, which showed him and 3 other guys standing at parade rest with shirts featuring the names of different military branches. 2 of them said Army, 1 said Navy, and Air Force on the last one. Jay recognized the page, even from a distance.

“I signed my contract 3 months before I graduated, and shipped out 2 weeks after. The Air Force guy, Ben, got kicked out after 6 months for drugs. John joined the Army 2 weeks after me, but I don't know where he is now. As far as I know, Asher is still in the Navy. Somewhere in Japan, i think.” 

On the next page, there was a loose picture that didn't belong in the book. It was a picture of Jay in an Army uniform and an American flag behind him, similar to pictures that parents get when their kids graduate basic training. On the back, there was a note written in neat, cursive handwriting.

_ Jay, age 18, basic training August 2003. _

“Jay, look.” Hailey handed it over to Jay, who looked at it intently. He smiled when he saw the writing on the back.

“My mom must have shoved it in there. She was probably the last one to look at that thing.” He laughed to himself, “She wrote notes on the back of all of our pictures.”

Looking further into the box that she found the yearbook in, she found a large photo album. She didn't look at all the pictures, that was for another day, but she did see a few baby pictures, all of them having the same neat handwriting with ages and dates.

“My mom was big on pictures. Will has an album, too. My dad didn't really care, he handed all of it over to us when she died.”

She put everything in the box and closed it, putting it off to the side with the other boxes that would go inside.

“My mom was like that for a while. I think she stopped when I was like 6.” Hailey chuckled, “I think my brothers photobombing everything made her quit.”

“She would have loved you.” Jay casually said as he put a tool box on a shelf.

Hailey stopped what she was doing, “Really?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, she didnt like a lot of my girlfriends, but I think she would have liked you. You two would have bonded well.”

Walking past her, he gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head. She smiled, thinking about the motherly moments she could have had with his mom that she didn't have with her own. She didn't even talk to her mom anymore.

“Can we talk about all this Cubs stuff next? Aren't you from the south side?” 

Hailey dug around a box that held sports memorabilia, specifically Cubs and Blackhawks. He owned a lot, even though he only wore the same 2 sports shirts for years.

“Who’s really a White Sox fan?” Jay laughed as he threw another box to the side, adding to the massive pile they already had.

* * *

“Im fucking wore out.” Hailey said as she placed one of his many mugs into the cupboard. For someone who’s coffee maker looks like it hadn't been cleaned in months, he owned quite a few.

“I am, too. But we got a lot of things put away.” He plopped on one of the stools, his shoulders slumping from how exhausted he was. “I mean, we did make room for my motorcycle.”

“Jay, there're boxes stacked as tall as I am in the office.”

“You’re not that tall, though.”

Jay laughed and flinched, ready for a soft punch that was for sure coming his way. There was one, but it was followed by her leaning her head on his shoulder, the need for sleep starting to consume her body.

“What time do you have to meet Austin?”

“7:30 in the morning.”

Hailey groaned and lifted her head, “I’ll make you coffee, but i think i'm gonna stay here and unpack some more.”

Sleeping in the same bed for a few months now, Hailey had a habit of waking up when Jay did. He was typically an early riser, which she hated because she liked the warmth and comfiness in her bed, but she didn't mind watching him wake up with messy hair and sleepy eyes, and receiving a soft kiss to the top of her head. They had a steady routine of one of them making coffee before they showered and got ready together.

“Sounds good to me babe.” He stood up and stretched, both of them hearing various bones pop and crack throughout his body. He gave her a long kiss, “I’m glad to finally call this home.”

Hailey smiled into the kiss, “Me too.” She smacked his butt when he turned away from her. “Can we go to bed now?”

“Gladly.”

* * *

It took 3 alarms and many groans for the couple to get out of bed early the next morning. Hailey constantly yawned while the coffee was made, and even then coffee was barely enough to wake her up. Jay, who was historically known for waking up early, even had trouble getting out of bed until a cold shower did the trick. He bounded down the stairs to find his girlfriend pouring his favorite hazelnut creamer into a travel mug full of coffee.

“Have i mentioned you’re the best?” Jay kissed her on her temple before taking the cup and screwing on the lid himself.

Hailey grunted in response, “How long do you think it’ll take?”

He shrugged, “A couple of hours. The apartment office doesn't open until 10 but moving everything should fill the time.”

“Have fun.” She gave him a fake smile, which earned her a fake laugh in return. They kissed before he went out the door, leaving Hailey wondering if she wanted to go back to sleep before unpacking the numerous boxes.

* * *

A 2 hour nap was all Hailey needed before she was going through boxes, shoving things into drawers and throwing things onto book shelves. Over half the boxes were not labeled, so it was a surprise every time she opened one. When she was opening the fourth or fifth (maybe sixth?) cardboard container, a slew of papers basically exploded out of it. It had been thrown around close to a dozen times, so none of the papers were in the corresponding folders. There was a mix of old reports, awards, things from the Army, and a couple of CI write ups so he could keep track of them and remember all of them after so many years. The one paper that threw Hailey for a loop was one that had ‘Decree for Divorce’ in large, bold font.

Thinking it was some kind of joke, she began to read it. A date of March 2017 really shook her core, as she met him less than 2 months later and he had just broken up with Erin. She recalled every conversation they had about past partners, but somehow Abigail McSweeney was never mentioned, as far as she could remember. According to the court paper, they were married for years, but she couldn't remember anyone ever bringing it up. They were married in Vegas, which didn't sound like a place Jay would ever want to get married.

“This has to be a joke. He has to be fucking with me.” She mumbled out loud to herself as she flipped through the papers.

They were married in 2008, but filed for separation pretty soon after. They had no kids, obviously, and the split seemed pretty fair regarding possessions. Regardless, the whole situation was something she didn't know about, and this was not how she wanted to find out.

While sitting in the desk chair, she heard the front door open. She wanted to do something - hide the paper, pretend like she never read it - but before she knew it, Jay was standing in the doorway, looking at her with a cocky grin.

“How’s it going in here?”

“We need to talk about something.” She was still sitting, but her nerves finally caught up to her, speeding up her heart rate and making her palms clammy.

“I hope it's not about babies. I know we’ve been moving fast, but that's a little too fast.” He chuckled as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“No,” Hailey also chuckled, “I haven't even had that talk with myself yet.” She finally stood up and walked towards him, the paper still in her hands. “We need to talk about this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so its kind of short, but i wanted to end it on a cliffhanger *insert evil laugh*  
> i also dont really know if James is his real name, i just get strong James vibes since his brother is William. gotta keep it formal  
> i really enjoy writing this fic, and i hope you guys like reading it. comment what you think!!
> 
> (ignore the second end note, idk how to fix it)


	10. finally found my forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to puckluck28 for some of the fluffy dialogue!

**August 9, 2020**

“We need to talk about this.”

Hailey held the papers in front of her so Jay could see them. He recognized them instantly and his eyes got wide.

“How did you find this.” He took the papers and looked at them intently, flipping through each page.

“They got mixed up with a bunch of other papers and I found them when i was trying to organize.” Her stare never left him, and he could feel her bright blue eyes burning into him, even when he isn't making eye contact.

“Hailey, I can explain myself. This really isn't what it looks like.” Jay said with a hint of panic in his voice. He messed up one relationship over this, and he sure as hell didn't want to mess up another.

“Jay, i'm not mad.” Hailey’s voice got softer, “A little surprised, but not mad. I just want to know what happened.”

He finally looked up from the paper and into her eyes, seeing a sense of understanding in them. This wasn't like past relationships where he felt like he had to leave in order to work through things. With Hailey, they could talk it out and help each other through it. It was like that from the very start of their partnership.

“Okay, uh, where do i begin?” Jay let out a nervous laugh and walked past Hailey, further into the room and towards the box. He furrowed his eyebrows at the mess of papers before him. Instead of trying to sort things out, he dug through them until he found a faded photocopied marriage certificate.

“I met Abby while I was in the Army. We were good friends, hooked up a couple of times but it was never serious. In 2008, a year after i got out, a buddy of ours died overseas and his funeral was in Vegas. We were all a mess; going out every night and drinking until we couldn't remember our names. A real shit show. One of those nights, Abby and I got married.”

He handed the certificate to Hailey before digging for more papers. She recognized Jay’s messy signature, and even noticed he was married by an Elvis impersonator. Classic Vegas wedding.

“The next day, we realized what happened and tried to get a divorce. I thought we did, but she came back to Chicago a few years ago and said she never filed them. So, I was out here living it up as an unknown married man for almost a decade.”

He handed her the original divorce decree. It was also photocopied with his signature, but lacked one from Abby. It was very similar to his finalized one, except for the dates and locations.

“Were you ever going to tell me?” She handed back the paper as he scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, one day. But i was a stupid kid back then, and i do my best not to think about it. This,” He waved the papers for emphasis, “is something that rarely crosses my mind.”

Hailey stayed quiet, and that scared Jay. Usually he knew what was running through her mind. He could read her like a book, and that's one of the many things that made them work so well together.

“I made a lot of mistakes in the past, including some dumb 24 hour marriage with a girl i didn't even like. But with you, I'm not ashamed of anything. I love you Hailes, and one day when we get married, I'll know I finally found my forever.”

Finally, Hailey started to show some emotion and smiled wide, even giggling a little. Jay wasn't sappy often, but when he was, it made Hailey’s heart beat at least 100 times faster.

“You said we’ll get married.”

Jay chuckled, “Yeah, I'd like to marry you someday. Not anytime soon, but one bummy marriage isn't gonna stop me from marrying and growing old with the girl of my dreams.”

“God you’re so corny.” Hailey scoffed, giving him a light slap on the arm.

“But that's why you love me.” Jay snaked his arm around her neck and brought her close her a kiss, relieved at how this conversation turned out. “I really am sorry i didn't tell you sooner.”

“But you did tell me, and that's all that matters. Now, can we finish going through these boxes? I'm already tired of looking at them.”

“Yes ma’am.” Jay said, smiling as he started sorting the rest of the papers.

* * *

“5021 George, we need back-up on the 300 block of South Laramie. Offenders on the run.”

It was Monday morning, and work was already crazy for the Intelligence Unit. As soon as they stepped foot into the bullpen, there were calls of shots fired a few blocks away. It was gang related, which meant they were pretty much forced to respond. When they arrived, there was a small fight starting, but of course when the men in blue arrived, they scattered. Most of the young adults slowly walked away, scoffing between every step, but there were always those few guys that had to make a fast break.

Kevin and Kim decided to chase one guy, while Hailey and Jay chased another. Vanessa stayed back, working with patrol to get information from the uncooperative witnesses. No one was injured, but as soon as they found a single bullet casing, there was yellow tape and officers surrounding the area. 

_ “5021 Ida, one offender in custody.” _

Both detectives took a breath of relief knowing that their people were safe and could catch one of the runners. Meanwhile, Jay and Hailey were running at full speed, trying to catch up with a young man who liked to throw garbage cans and jump over fences.

“Police, stop running!” Hailey yelled, somehow not out of breath yet.

Finally, they ran upon a brick wall that was too tall to hop over, with nothing nearby to assist in climbing. The guy didn't have a gun; that was obvious when his hands were empty and the waistband of his jeans stretched tightly around his waist. Jay ran close behind him, with Hailey keeping a distance with her gun on her thigh. When Jay laid a hand on him, a sharp pain radiated from his upper arm.

“Did you just cut me?” He said with anger in his voice. Looker closer, the guy was probably no older than 15, and the tremble in his hand showed that this was the first time he had any real interaction with the police. Immediately, he dropped the knife and Jay slammed his body into the wall.

“You good?” Hailey called, jogging to get closer. She could see the drops of blood dripping onto the pavement.

“Yeah, we’re good.” He secured the handcuffs on him, keeping him against the wall. He rotated his arm to get a better view of the cut. It was already bleeding a decent amount, and there’s no way a band-aid was going to stop it.

Hailey put a hand on his shoulder, letting him know it was her behind him. “I got him. Patrol is right behind me, and you need to go to the hospital.”

“I’m fine.” He tried to flex his bicep, but the amount of pain that shot threw his face didn’t fool his partner.

“Jay, go. When i'm done with him,” She yanked on the handcuffs, “I’ll meet you there.”

“I’m not gonna get out of this, am i?” Jay groaned, his opposite hand trying to keep pressure on the cut.

“Nope.” Hailey gave him a sarcastic smile before walking towards the squad car. He chuckled and shook his head, going to a different squad car for a free ride to the doctor.

* * *

“Well isn't it my little brother.” Will Halstead announced as he walked into one of the trauma rooms. “Maggie said you needed some stitches, and what better person is there than me.”

Jay chuckled, “Hey Will.”

In the police car, he was given some gauze from a first aid kit to cover the cut. Now, it was soaked in his blood.

“What the hell did you do?” The doctor asked as he peeled away the gauze, revealing a deep, messy cut.

“The guy I was chasing cut me. Y’know, a typical day.”

Will laughed as he inserted a needle near the cut to give him some numbing medicine. He already had a suture cut nearby, swearing that after years of working in plastic surgery, there would barely even be a scar.

“So, when’s the wedding?” 

“What?” Jay gulped.

“Calm down, bud.” He chuckled again, “It's a joke. Since you and Hailey moved in pretty quick, I figured a wedding was in the works...unless there's something else I need to know about.”

Jay placed a hand over his chest, trying to calm his breathing down. He had no reason to be stressed, unless Hailey secretly talked to Will to try to hint at something that the couple themselves haven't talked about.

“No, so far so good. But, she did find out about Abby.”

At that, Will tugged a little too hard on a stitch, causing Jay to yelp in pain, despite the medicine. When the wedding happened, Will got a call around 4 am with Jay telling him he “royalling fucked up”. He wasn't given all the details immediately, but over time the youngest eventually confided in his older brother. Will knew Abby, they met before he moved to New York, but it still shocked him when he was told he had a new sister-in-law. What shocked him even more was when Jay landed on his doorstep, telling him everything about her last, and hopefully final, visit to Chicago.

“You didn't leave this time, so that's a good sign.”

“She took it really well, great actually. I think she was just upset because i didn't tell her right off the bat.”

“And why is that?” Will said, carefully tying a knot, “It’s not this big secret. Anyone can look up court records. Hell, you didn't even love her.”

Jay shrugged the arm that wasn't being worked on, “I don't know. I just cant believe i was that stupid to get married to her in the first place, let alone for a day.”

“Technically 9 years.” Will said in a cocky tone. “But 23 year old Jay is a completely different person than 35 year old Jay. Remember when you would come home, just absolutely shit faced for days, or even weeks in a row? 35 year old Jay stops a few beers because he knows his limit.”

“And the hangovers are an absolute killer.”

The men shared a laugh as Will finished the sutures, giving it a final knot before he wrapped his upper arm in a new, clean gauze.

“You love Hailey, anyone can see that from miles away. Instead of her finding something on her own, why don't you just tell her? Take it from me, having someone to confide in is way better than keeping it all to yourself.”

Jay nodded his head and gave his brother an understanding smile. In perfect timing, Hailey walked through the doors of the room. Will smiled and gave Jay a pat on the shoulder before excusing himself to get check out papers.

“How many stitches?” Hailey asked, hanging the truck keys to Jay.

“I think 7. He promised there would be no scar.”

“Oh yeah?” Hailey laughed as Jay stood up from the medical table. He pulled Hailey into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

“You know i love you, right?”

“Of course I do.” She replied with a confused tone. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just wanted to say I love you.”

“Love struck Jay Halstead is something else.” She laughed as she brought his head down to give him a kiss. Will knocked on the glass door, letting them know the paperwork was ready to be filled out. “I love you, too, by the way.”

“With that kiss, i hope so.”

* * *

“To Jay, for taking one for the team.” Adam said as he held up a shot of whiskey. After the case, the unit decided to retire to Molly’s for a few drinks before they finally called it a night.

“It was a couple stitches, clearly you haven't seen my medical record.” Jay laughed as he also held up a shot. The rest of the group joined in, knocking back the shots after a ‘here, here’.

For a Monday night, the bar was pretty busy. It was a bunch of first responders who were drinking and having a good time while putting their days work behind them. The music was never too loud, and the crowd always had friendly faces. There was never a time when they weren't greeting by a few firefighters or paramedics just to say hello.

But as the night went on, and more people left, eventually it was just Hailey and Jay as the remaining two from Intelligence. They sat across from each other, sharing funny stories over beer.

“So, i have a question.” Jay asked in between swigs of beer.

“Go for it.”

“Have you been secretly talking to my brother?”

Hailey almost spit out her drink, “Will? No, why do you ask?”

He shrugged, “Just something he said earlier.” He smirked, drawing in another sip of alcohol.

“Do i even want to know?” Hailey furrowed her brows. She set her now empty bottle to the side, sliding a cup of water in front of her.

“No, just some dumb shit my brother said. Nothing to worry about.”

Hailey cocked her head to the side, but decided to just let it slide. That would be a conversation for another day. Jay finished his last beer, setting it next to Hailey’s before pulling out his wallet.

“I swear, these dumb conversations with your brother are going to give me a heart attack one day.”

“You haven't even heard the best of it, babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys liked this chapter! a little bit of angst here, a little bit of fluff there. a lot is planned for upcoming chapters!! please comment what you think!


	11. spend time with you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fall festivites, a baseball game, and some weekend overtime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of a time jump for some fluffy upstead. thanks again to puckluck28 for the help!!

_ **October 30, 2020** _

“My parents used to bring me and Will here every year. It was our favorite place to go every fall.”

Jay grinned as he intertwined his fingers with Hailey’s. They walked through a gate and were immediately met with a giant pumpkin patch, full of kids running and tripping over various sizes of pumpkins. Beyond that was a corn maze and a start of a haunted trail that would open at night to scare everyone of all ages. There were also multiple vendors selling an assortment of food like caramel corn, candy covered apples, and apple cider.

“When we first came, Will and I would literally shit our pants when we saw the clowns hiding in the trail. If we didn't have a baseball game later, we would definitely go.”

It was a Friday, and the couple decided to take the day off after a long and hard case that kept them busy for hours on end throughout the week. Voight promised the officers in the unit could handle things for the day if they came in a few hours on Saturday to finish paperwork and be on standby for any pending big case, since it would be Halloween.

“Can we take a picture in that big chair?” Hailey excitedly asked as she spotted a massive wooden chair that had the patch’s name painted onto the back. She had seen a few of her friends post pictures with it, and wanted one as well.

“Of course.” Jay smiled at his girlfriend. She wasn't usually big on pictures, so this was a rare moment he would definitely remember.

They found a nice older couple to take pictures of them sitting in the chair, Jay’s arm draped around her shoulders as she giggled. One even included him giving her a kiss on the top of her head, one of the things he did fairly often and she loved it.

“I bet you a glass of apple cider that I can find a bigger pumpkin than you.” Jay teased as he rolled up the sleeves on his flannel, ready for a competition.

“Make it a mason jar and you have a deal.”

One of the cup sizes that the homemade drink vendor offered was a big mason jar full of the cider. It was only a dollar more than the normal plastic cups that they came in, and it was a souvenir.

“You’re on.” They shook hands as they hastily walked towards the patch.

“Are those my favorite detectives?”

A familiar voice stopped the couple in their tracks. They slowly turned around to see Adam, Kevin, Vanessa, and Kim standing behind them and laughing.

“What are you guys doing here?”

“It’s a slow day so Platt told us to come here and get a few pumpkins. Something about making the district look more festive.” Kim said as Kevin and Jay started doing their ‘secret’ handshake.

“Platt and decorations? Who threatened her?”

The team laughed at Jay’s comment before Ruzek responded, “I don't know, but I'm glad not to see those brick walls for a while.”

“Hailey and I were about to have a contest, if you guys wanna join. Trying to find the biggest pumpkin.”

“Bro that patch is huge. You know i'm in.” Adam said as he aligned himself with a decent sized opening to the patch.

“Only rules are to not run kids over or steal pumpkins from someone else. We don't want to start a fight.”

“Can't promise anything.” Kim said as her competitive side started to show.

The team chuckled as they prepared themselves. The adults lined themselves up in front of the patch, and when Jay said ‘Go!’ they all raced around, trying to keep their distances so they could scope out different areas of the patch.

“I chose the wrong spot.” Adam groaned as he tossed some small pumpkins off to the side.

“Look at this little guy. He’s cute.” Kevin said with a big smile as he held one that was barely bigger than his hands.

“The goal is to find a big one.” Vanessa said, brushing hair out of her face.

“I guess I lost then.” He giggled as he made his way out of the patch. Everyone else laughed as they continued their hunt. 

After a few screams from bugs and trips over vines, Kim came out as the winner with a massive, 20 pound pumpkin. She didn't actually buy it, as much as she would have loved to see Trudy’s reaction to it, but instead bought 2, decent sized pumpkins. Vanessa found one on the smaller side and Adam chose one that he deemed would be big enough to carve a big, scary cat into. Jay and Hailey had no intention of actually buying any, they just wanted to have fun.

“I'll still get you that cider.” Jay winked as he pulled out his wallet.

“What a gentleman.” Hailey giggled as she pulled her oversized flannel closer to her body. Fall was her favorite time of year. She could wear flannels without absolutely sweating her ass off, there was always a nice chilly breeze in the air, and doing stakeouts in the van without air conditioning wasn't as miserable as doing them mid-July. She loved winter as well, but something about falling leaves and her favorite candle scents made her happy on the inside. Plus, she could always get away with wearing her boyfriend’s clothes.

“Platt texted us to get our asses back to the district. Her words straight from the screen.” Kim shoved her phone into her pocket as she tugged on a wagon pulling the pumpkins.

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow. Don't cause too much trouble.”

They all said their good-byes, leaving Hailey and Jay to watch as Adam and Kim bickered over the wagon, Vanessa observing from the side, and Kevin still beaming over his “little guy”.

“They’re one special group of people.” Jay said, sipping his cider.

“Yeah, but i wouldn't want anyone else. So, corn maze?”

“Definitely.”

* * *

“Hailey, hurry up. We’re going to be late.”

“Jay, there’s an hour until the first pitch. I think we’ll be fine.”

One thing Jay loved about the fall, on the other hand, was baseball. Ever since the Cubs made a mid-season comeback to put them in the World Series, he hasn't missed a game. Whether it was streaming them at Target, watching in the breakroom, a boys night, or even attending a rare weekend game, he was there to watch. And now the hometown favorites were an even 2-2 in the series against the Seattle Mariners.

“All the good beer will sell out.”

“Wrigley Field predicted it to be a full stadium, i don't think they will run out.”

Hailey chuckled as she tried to keep pace with Jay, who was weaving in and out of people to get to the gates quicker. As annoying he was during the whole postseason, she had to admit that he still looked hot in his full sports fanatic outfit - a custom jersey (thanks to Hailey), a long sleeve Cubs shirt, and a traditional Cubs ball cap. A quick outfit change between fall festivities and pizza was almost a requirement for him.

After a long wait at the gate, followed by a metal detector check and a beer run, they finally found their seats behind third base, and Jay couldn't have been more happy. Every now and then, Hailey chuckled over her boyfriend’s excitement. She didn't pay too much attention to baseball, but based off the yells that came from the living room almost every night, the team was good and she was just happy that he invited her.

* * *

“Come on ump! That was clearly a ball!”

Jay stood up and yelled, along with a dozen other fans who protested the umpire's call. The Cubs were winning 7-3 before the 7th inning stretch, but it didn't stop him from yelling at the referee that probably didn't hear him.

“How could you see that? We’re not even close to the batter.” Hailey asked when he sat down. 

“I could just feel it.” Jay said matter of factly. Hailey rolled her eyes and started to eat a Chicago hot dog. She wasn't usually one to share food, but she let Jay have a few bites after he whined enough.

When the break between innings finally came, Jay and Hailey decided to get another round of drinks. As Hailey predicted, they were far from running out of his favorite beer. As they stood around, sipping beer and watching everyone else interact, Jay’s phone started to buzz from one of the last people he talked to.

“Halstead.” He answered, making an annoyed face in Hailey’s direction.

“You better hope they win, or it’ll be the last time I let you guys take a day off to watch a game.”

Jay almost choked on his beer when he heard Voight’s gravelly voice. Out of all the things he expected his sergeant to tell it, that was not one of them.

“I thought you were a Sox fan?”

“As long as another trophy comes to Chicago, I don't care who wins.”

Jay laughed as he heard the background noises of the phone call. Voight must be watching the game at a bar. Judging by the voices, he was probably at Molly’s.

“You got it, Sarge. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hung up the phone as he laughed. 

“We don't have to come in today?”

“Basically the opposite.”

Ready to go back to their seats, Jay draped an arm around Hailey’s shoulders and started walking. They weaved in and out of people but before they walked up the stairs, he pulled her to the side with a few less people surrounding them.

“I know you know nothing about baseball, and you hate being in crowds, so thank you for coming with me today.” Using his free hand, he lightly gripped Hailey’s chin and leaned down for a kiss. Hailey giggled and pulled away.

“I’m just happy i can spend time with you. Even if the haunted trail sounds better right now.”

Jay laughed and kissed her again. His arm wrapped around her waist before they started the journey to their seats again.

The remaining innings were pretty uneventful. The Cubs won and would be going to Seattle to finish the series, hopefully coming out with a win. The whole ride home, Jay was ecstatic. During the last World Series run, he planned to go to a game but had to cancel at the last minute when they caught a case that required all hands. Although he didn't get a foul ball that he hoped for, he swore that Kris Bryant waved at him. Hailey, on the other hand, was asleep halfway into their journey and didn't even know they made it home until Jay was shaking her shoulder and a cold breeze hitting her face - a change from the warm air that previously filled the truck. She didn't even remember how she got to bed until she woke up the next morning to the smell of coffee and her side of the bed shifting with new weight being added.

“I was gonna make you breakfast but we don't have eggs. So I made you coffee instead.”

Her eyes barely open, she saw her shirtless boyfriend setting the mug on her bedside table.

“I really wish we didn't have to work today.” She stretched her arms and legs before she sat up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, feeling the warmth coming from his skin.

“If we finish quickly, we can leave early. Pick up some candy and pass them out to the kids tonight.”

“I already bought a bag, and Vanessa and I devoured it before we put it in the bowl.”

“This time, i'll put it on a high shelf so you guys can't reach it.” He laughed at his pouting girlfriend, who decided to flop back onto her pillows. “C’mon, let’s shower so we can get this day over with.”

“Can we get breakfast on the way in?” The sound of Hailey’s stomach growling suddenly filled the air.

“Yeah, if you actually get up, you bum.”

Hailey hit him with a pillow before he got up and pulled her feet to the edge of the bed. He laid on her, putting all of his weight on her body. He kissed up and down her face and neck before sprinting to the bathroom, Hailey soon following.

* * *

“I used to have that mask.” Jay pointed to a kid with a Scream mask. The little boy was running circles around his mom as they walked down the sidewalk in front of the district. He looked out of the window in between typing breaks and pointed out new costumes every time.

“When i was a kid, my brothers would run around the house and scare me while wearing one of those. The most I had was a puppy costume I wore for 4 years.”

The two were the only ones in the bullpen. As much as they wanted to hurry up with their reports, they constantly kept getting distracted. Vanessa and Adam volunteered (or Platt told them) to join patrol for the day to handle smaller incidents. Kim and Kevin were in and out with cases that required a “bigger rank”. They were both still officers, but being in intelligence, they were basically detectives.

“When i was overseas, we asked our families to send us masks and any approved Halloween decorations. They didn't come until almost Christmas, but we still had fun. We scared the crap out of everyone until our Captain got mad at us. He wasn't too happy when he scared him after a shower. When he dropped his towel, we were pretty scared, too.”

He laughed remembering one of the few good times he had in Afghanistan. He spent many holidays in the desert, but his Halloween story managed to top all the other stories he had. Hailey enjoyed listening to all of them, even if he repeated them multiple times.

“If another person calls about fireworks that sound like gunshots, I’m gonna lose it.” Kim announced as she and Kevin walked into the bullpen. They each flopped into their respective chairs, ready to take a break from the constant run of stupid calls.

“Imagine how Vanessa and Adam are feeling right now.” Platt designated the two to do patrol duty as they had the least amount of patrol time. Vanessa had practically no hours, as she was put undercover straight out of the academy, and Adam had not done patrol in years.

“Vanessa and Adam are tired.” Suddenly, they appeared in the doorway by the locker room, now in civilian clothes.

“Platt let us off early since the shifts are turning over.” Adam ran his hands through his messy hair. Patrol was his least favorite part of the job, and considered himself very lucky that Al pulled him from the academy.

“Oh my god, it's already that late.” Hailey groaned as she looked at the clock. Shifts switched at 6pm and they got there around 10. She was almost done with her report, but she was guaranteed another hour or 2.

“Hope you guys aren't busy.” Voight announced his presence as he walked into the bullpen, seeing his team lounging in their chairs. “Got a call about a dead woman in a park. This wasn't isn't a joke. Patrol is all over it but they want us to take over.”

“So much for an easy day.” Jay mumbled as he handed Hailey her jacket, the team now on their feet to continue their long day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i couldnt resist not adding a little bit of baseball lol. i wanted to add a little bit of fluff and fall stuff since summer is basically over. its little, quick update because i have a looottt planned in the upcoming chapters. hope you enjoyed reading!! let me know what you guys think!


	12. dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> big case for our favorite unit

** _October 31, 2020_ **

“Her name is Stacey Caldwell. We found her wallet about 10 feet from the body.”

An officer told Hailey as the yellow tape was lifted for their entrance to the crime scene.

“Who found the body?” The detective asked as she kneeled next to the body. She was thrown in a field with tall weeds, but the killer didn't pay attention to the foot that jutted out when they tried to hide the body.

“A jogger.” The officer pointed to a young woman who looked pretty shaken up. “Body has been here a few hours, but not all day.”

Jay jogged up behind them, “M.E. said she died of strangulation, and the bullet in her head was post mortem. There’s no witnesses, but I sent Ruzek to get security footage.”

Hailey nodded her head and thanked the officer for his information. “So much for a chill Saturday.” She burrowed further into her coat as the evening breeze hit her.

“Just a typical Halloween.” Jay chuckled as they watched Vanessa run towards them.

“I looked her up, and she’s married with 2 kids. They live in apartment 520 at Pinewood Apartments on the South Side.”

“Thanks. Me and Hailes can go check it out if you wanna help Ruz.”

The officer nodded her head and trotted off again. Hailey wrote the information in a small notebook she kept in her pocket.

“Let’s hope this guy isn't trick or treating yet.”

* * *

Before Jay could even knock on their fifth floor apartment door, they could hear kids laughing and screaming from inside. A bunch of small foot steps running across the floor were followed by bigger ones chasing them. Despite this, Jay still knocked loudly, ensuring an adult inside could hear.

“Hello?” A tall skinny man opened the door.

“Im Detective Halstead, and this is Detective Upton. You’re Gavin Caldwell, correct?”

“If this is about my wife, I already know. Some officers told me earlier.” His voice seemed steady, but his eyes showed a sense of sadness behind them.

“Okay, is it fine if we ask you a few questions?”

Behind the man, two kids were chasing each other, half-dressed in Halloween costumes.

“Yeah, but uh, they don't know. I didn't have the heart to tell them tonight.” He turned around to look at the two happy little boys.

“Daddy, are those real police or they just playing dress up.” One boy asked as he attached himself to his father’s leg.

“They’re real police, buddy. Go play with your brother real quick.”

“Are they here to ask about what happened?”

Jay and Hailey gave each other confused looks before Gavin spoke.

“Go play, please.” The little boy scampered off. “I got pulled over for speeding the other day and they thought the police were going to arrest me. Kids, amiright?” He gave a nervous laugh.

“Yeah,” Jay let out a cut off chuckle, “So, your wife. When was the last time you saw her?”

“This morning. She works at the grocery store around the corner and they called her in at the last minute. I didn't see her after that.”

“Any reason why she would have been at Greenbelt Forest Preserve on the North end? That’s a pretty good distance from the store.” Hailey asked as she was jotting some notes in her book.

Gavin shook his head, “No. We rarely go up there. Like I said, she was going to work.”

“Daddy! I need help with my costume and you  _ promised. _ ” One of the boys said as he struggled to put a Power Rangers suit on.

“I’m sorry guys, i have to go. I can answer more questions tomorrow.”

Before the detectives could say anything else, the door was slammed in their faces. They staggered back at how loud and quick it happened.

“Traffic ticket, huh?”

“We’ll see.”

* * *

When they got to the district, the white board already had information on it, including stills from the security footage. Before they could sit down, Kim started explaining things.

“Stacey Caldwell, 28. Works at Corner Foods Store on Cornell Avenue and 91st. Married Gavin Caldwell in 2010 and they have 2 boys, Jackson, 7 and Devin, 5. No priors, not even a speeding ticket.”

“What about her husband, does he have any priors?” Jay asked as he sat on the top of Hailey’s desk.

“Gavin Caldwell, 31, was charged with stalking an ex-girlfriend and trespassing in 2009, but he hasn't had anything since.”

“So no speeding ticket.” Hailey said quietly to Jay from her chair.

“We went through the footage, and some of it is a little grainy, but you can see a white Dodge Journey pull up, 2 men pull Stacey out of the trunk, throw her in the weeds, then the one of them shoots her. Then they get in the van and drive off. We ran the plates, and it's registered to Christopher Mills. We’re still trying to get his records from Whiting, Indiana.” 

Adam taped a few more pictures to the board. They were of the license plate and the two men. Both wore dark clothes and had their faces shielded by baseball caps.

“The husband said she was going to work and didn't see her after that. Jay and I can go to the store tomorrow morning and ask some questions.” Hailey said as her partner nodded along.

“Okay, but in the meantime,” Voight said from the doorway to his office, arms crossed over his chest, “I want to know more about this Mills guy, and if he has any connection to the family. Reach out to any family and friends, and get some footage from the apartment complex, maybe she was abducted from there. And what about the kids? Do they know anything?”

“Caldwell said he hasn't told them yet.”

“Well i want to see all of them in the morning.”

When Voight walked back into his office and shut the door, that's when everyone went to work. Atwater and Rojas went to the apartment complex while everyone else stayed behind, hoping to find something on their computers. 

After nearly an hour and not being able to find any information, Hailey decided to take a break and went to get coffee from the break room. Jay followed her and closed the door behind him.

“What are you thinking?” Jay said, grabbing 2 coffee cups.

“I think the husband has something to do with this. He already lied about the ticket, so what else is he lying about?” She ran her hands through her ponytail as she sat on the edge of the table.

“I do, too.” Jay leaned on the counter across from her, eagerly waiting on the coffee to finish brewing. “And what about the kids? They know something, especially with what the one said.”

“I know.” She ran her hands over her face. Jay pulled her close to him and gave her a tight hug. Not only were they tired, but the night was only going to get longer.

A knock on the door forced them to pull away, and Kim poked her head into the room. “We finally got Mills’ record.”

The two nodded and quickly poured their cups of coffee before joining Adam and Kim in the bullpen.

“Christopher Mills, 29. He’s from Chicago, but currently lives in Indiana. Has a long list including illegal firearm possession, child pornography charges, and theft. He was paroled 6 months ago but hasn't reported to his parole officer in 2 weeks. He’s Gavin’s half-brother.”

His picture was taped on the board next to Gavin’s, and they looked pretty similar. Except for the different hair colors and Gavin’s beard, they could be nearly identical.

“Has anyone seen him in Chicago?”

Adam shook his head, “Not that i know of, so we have to reach out to our CIs. I’ll let Kev know, too. This dude is dangerous so we have to find him fast.”

* * *

“Security cameras are hosted off-site from the apartment, and they’re closed for the night so we’ll hit them up in the morning.” Kevin said as he walked in, rubbing his eyes at 9:45pm.

“We did find a couple people who were still awake, and they said they never saw Stacey leave. They did see Gavin walking around with his kids and some guy they only saw a handful of times. Maybe Mills?” Vanessa added.

“Most likely. Did any of them say what kind of car they drove?”

Both of the officers shook their heads. Hailey stared at the board and took in the sight of all the pictures and information they had up. There was a picture of the whole family, smiling and laughing at a park. She couldnt piece together as to why someone would murder someone who looked so happy, and had so many friends and family that talked so highly of her on social media.

“Okay, so lets say Gavin is the killer. He was pretty cold to Jay and me, so let's go with that for now. Mills comes to town, they get together, kill his wife and dump her body. But why? We have to be missing something.”

Jay flipped through a couple pages in a file he created, but came up with nothing. “None of her family members are from around here, but they didn't say anything out of the blue. His only family is Mills. No police reports of being called to their residence. Did the people you talked to say anything?”

Vanessa shook her head, “They said she was always happy. They argued every once in a while, but it wasn't anything to cause concern over. They went to work, the kids went to school, and that's what people saw.”

Hailey watched the time on her computer change to 10 pm. “I’m gonna call it a night. We’ll go to the store as soon as it opens. What about you guys?”

They all put in their inputs as to what their plans were. Getting footage, talking to family, going back to the crime scene. Spending their Sunday working on a case they didn't plan for.

* * *

“God, i'm so tired.” Hailey groaned as she laid on the bed. She really regretted staying up late the night before.

“Come here.” Jay said as he sat on the head of the bed. He spread his legs and invited Hailey to sit in between them. She rolled over and sat up, back facing him. He popped his knuckles before he bore his fingers into her back, rubbing out any tense muscle he could find in her back. He used his thumbs to get the hard to reach spots on her shoulders. She groaned at some of the pain, but she could never turn down a massage from Jay Halstead himself. He gave some of the best massages, especially when she didn't ask for them. When he patted her back, his sign that he was done, she leaned back onto his chest. She intertwined her fingers with his and they laid there in silence for a few minutes. Every few seconds he would lazily rub circles into her hands or play with her fingers. It always amused him how small her hands were compared to his.

“Last night we were getting tipsy off expensive beer at Wrigley Field, and now we’re investigating a major homicide. Where did we go wrong?” Hailey pouted, eyes closed as she flung her and Jay’s hands into the air.

Jay chuckled, making sure his chest didn't move too much beneath her head, “It’s all part of the job, unfortunately.” He craned his neck and kissed the crown of her head before resting a cheek on it. Before too long, he heard soft snores coming from the woman. He smiled but knew that if they didn't move soon, they would wake up needing more than a massage in the morning. Without waking her up, he rolled her over his leg and onto her pillow. Luckily they changed into their pajamas as soon as they got home, because he was far too tired to change both of their clothes. Instead, he wedged their blankets from under her weight and curled up beside her, making sure the blankets were fit snugly around them before drifting off to sleep himself.

* * *

A bell rang when the door to the small grocery store opened. Jay and Hailey, still very tired but managing after 2 cups of coffee each, were met with a young girl at a cash register.

“We’re not really open yet.” She piped from behind the tall plexi-glass that separated her from any customers she checked out.

“Door says 7, and according to my watch, oh look, 7.” Hailey faked a smile as she looked at the time on her phone. “We’re not here to buy anything, we have some questions.”

The detectives flashed their badges on their hips. The girl did a double take before she left her area of work, apologizing the whole walk to them.

“I’m sorry, i didn't know. We’re just a little short staffed with Stacey…” The girl cut her sentence short as tears started to prick her eyes. The woman’s face was all over the news the night before, so it didn't surprise them that she already knew.

“That’s actually what we need to talk to you about. What’s your name?” Jay questioned.

“Amy. I just started working here a few months ago, but she was so nice and made me feel welcomed. Trained me on how to do just about anything.”

“Okay Amy, her husband said she got called into work yesterday morning. Did you see her?”

Amy raised her eyebrows in confusion, “Yesterday? No. We actually had too many people scheduled so we let some people off early.”

“So she never came in at all?”

She shook her head, “I didn't see her at all. She took the weekend off to spend time with her boys.”

The detectives sighed in unison. Another lie they were fed. Almost as quickly as they came, they left. The girl was left in tears, but they had bigger things on their mind. They sped to the district, now fully awake as pieces to their puzzle were coming together.

“Are Kevin and Vanessa back from the security place?” Hailey asked Adam as she hung her coat over the back of her chair.

“No, but they’re sending it over soon. Luckily the place opened this early on a Sunday.” He sipped some coffee from a cup. And judging from the others on his desk, it wasn't his first one.

“Well Stacey never went into work yesterday. So that's a second inconsistency with his story.”

“Bring him in. Him and the kids.” Voight said from his usual spot in the door frame of his office. “As far as he knows, we think he's a grieving widow and we’re trying to find his wife’s killer. Make him think she got abducted from work or something, but don't make it seem like we’re coming onto him, either.” With that, he walked into his office to retire to his desk. The detectives grabbed their coats and were out the door once more.

Being Sunday morning, they didn't really expect Caldwell to open the door as quick as he did. But having two young kids who were probably still hyped up on Halloween candy, it wasn't completely pushed out of their minds.

“Hey Gavin, we know it's early, but we need you guys to come down to the district. Get a few more questions out of you.”

“It can't wait till later?” He opened the door a little wider for them to see the view of his kids eating breakfast in pajamas.

Hailey shook her head, “You guys can finish up and get dressed. We’ll be here. You guys can follow us.”

He sighed but reluctantly agreed. Within 30 minutes, Jay and Hailey watched him pile his rowdy kids into a red Camry. Of course, Jay called in the license plate, which came up clean and registered to his wife. In no time, they were at the district. Jay had Caldwell in the interrogation room while Hailey and Kim kept the boys busy in the break room.

“We don't think you had a part, we just have a few questions.” Jay leaned back in the chair and watched Caldwell’s expressions. He straightened out his shirt and played with some dead skin on his hands, but he rarely made eye contact with the detective. “So where do you work?”

“I work at South Chicago Bank. I keep records.” 

“Have you ever brought your wife around?”

“Not really. I've only been there about 4 months and haven't really made friends yet.”

“What about your wife’s job? Have you ever gone there?”

“Yeah, all the time. We shop there.” He made brief eye contact before messing with his hands again.

“Anyone ever seem suspicious? Or take up a liking to your wife?”

He paused for a minute, thinking about his answer, “There’s a new guy, Ben, i think. I never saw him but she would come home and talk about this young kid who always worked the same shifts as her. Once she said she felt uncomfortable but promised she would handle it. You think it's him?”

“We haven't been to the store, but it doesn't hurt to ask. I'll be back, alright?”

Jay excused himself and left the room. He met Voight who was coming from the viewing area.

“You think it's credible?” Voight questioned as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Maybe, but we can send someone to ask.”

“I'll send Vanessa and Kevin. They just sent the footage.”

In the break room, Hailey and Kim were watching the boys color in the coloring book. They rarely stayed in the lines, but it was entertaining to watch them.

“Is my daddy getting asked things?” The younger one, Devin said without looking up from the page.

“Yeah. Do you know what happened to your mom?”

Both of them nodded their heads.

“She was sleeping so daddy and Uncle Chris took her on a drive.”

“Do you know where?”

“We stayed home.” Jackson made eye contact with Hailey. His dark brown eyes knew more than what he was telling him. “She didn't come home though.”

Suddenly, Gavin appeared in the doorway. It shocked all of them, even the officers in the bullpen. He wasn't handcuffed and could leave at any time, but they didn't expect it so soon.

“I have to get the boys to bible school. They do it every week. You guys ready?” 

The man was stern, but they were confident he didn't hear their conversation. The kids excitedly jumped out of the chairs and ran to their father. 

“Sorry we had to cut this short. Call anytime.” 

He held the boys hands and Jay stood behind them, volunteering to escort them out. He flashed Hailey a concerned look before following them. They didn't color anything out of the ordinary, just some colorful lines on dinosaurs, so there were no clues from that that they saw anything. Sometimes it worked on kids, but not these two.

Adam flipped the white board to reveal everything they had on the case so far. He taped up security picture stills to show two men, still unidentifiable, carry Stacey into the van then leave. It really didn't give them much, except that the last place she was alive was their apartment building.

“Why didn't you say anything. We let him leave!” Kim said in an exacerbated tone.

“We still can't get their faces. For all we know, she left, two guys killed her, then drove off.” Hailey said, sitting on the edge of her desk.

“The boy, Jackson, said Caldwell and Mills left with their “sleeping” mom. What else is there to guess?”

“We got that off record.” Voight appeared, coffee in hand. “And their kids. Kids tell stories all the time, and that will for sure not hold up in court. We just have to dig deeper.”

As Jay walked back up the stairs, Hailey’s phone rang with a call from Vanessa. 

“The guy, Ben, wasn't at the store but we called him. According to him, they've been having a fling. She planned on divorcing her husband this week.”

Hailey walked to the board and erased the question mark next to ‘motive’ and replaced it with ‘divorce’.

“So she wants a divorce, he's not happy, then kills her.”

“Hey I just got a hit on Mills license plate. He's at a house on 1745 South Wallace.” Adam said as he read an address off his computer.

Suddenly, all of their pieces were falling into place very quickly.

“Jay, meet Kevin and Vanessa there. You guys heard that?”

Over the phone, the officers agreed in unison as the sound of sirens and screeching tires could be heard in the background. Jay grabbed his coat and ran towards the exit.

“The rest of you, go get Caldwell. He has kids, so be clean. If you need to, wait on the other three.”

With that, they all left to go to their respective cars and raced towards the apartment. They parked on the street but didnt turn on any lights or sirens, in case there was a chance it could throw him off.

“How long are we gonna wait?” Adam asked as he leaned on the hood of his car.

“Just until we hear that they caught Mills.” Hailey responded. In perfect timing, their radios began to chatter.

“Got him as he was leaving. Rojas is gonna take him in and we’ll meet you.”

“That’s our cue.”

Hailey and Adam started to walk to the doors but Kim stayed back a few feet, a little hesitant.

“Shouldn't we wait for them? He is pretty dangerous, and Voight said to wait if we needed to.”

Hailey looked at her confusion embedded on her face. An hour ago, she was willing to arrest the guy on the spot, and now she was requesting back-up before they even got there.

“I’ll go with her. You can wait here for the others and update them. If we need back up, we’ll call.” Adam said with a sincere look on his face. He wanted Kim to be comfortable, but also wanted to get this guy as bad as Hailey did.

Kim nodded in agreement and looked down the street, hoping they would be here soon. The other two went inside the building and walked up the stairs at a brisk pace, Hailey leading the way.

“This dude really has 2 kids and lives on the 5th floor of a place with no elevator.” Adam let out a laugh as he huffed up the last set of stairs. He liked to think he was in shape until he came face to face with multiple sets of stairs.

“Sounds like a nightmare to me.” Hailey laughed back.

Outside, Jay and Kevin parked their vehicles in the middle of the street, next to their co-workers. They hoped out, but only saw one of the three that were supposed to be there.

“Mills didnt put up a fight, surprisingly. Where are the others?” They walked up to Kim, who just pointed at the building.

“They went up already.”

Jay shook his head as he pulled out his walkie-talkie. “You guys good?”

“Yeah, almost to the door.” Hailey responded.

And then that’s when it happened. Less than 2 seconds after her response, there was a loud boom and a ball of flames coming directly from the 5th floor of the apartment building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably one of the longest chapters i have ever written, but the case was too good not to get into. inspiration is partially based off of real life Susan Powell's disappearance, other part is my wild imagination. had to add a little unplanned fluff before shit ultimately hits the fan. you're welcome.  
> please share and comment and let me know what you think!


	13. payback kind of hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aftermath of last chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big shout out to puckluck28 on tumblr for constantly keeping my imagination flowing and helping me with the tough parts. super super thankful!

_**November 1, 2020** _

Almost immediately, there was ringing in Jay’s ears. A ferocious, high pitched noise that was almost never associated with anything good. He cuffed his hands over his ears as if it would stop. As he did so, he looked in the direction of what caused it and nearly dropped to his knees.

The wing of the building that Hailey and Adam were in had fifty foot flames, and debris was flying everywhere. It was like a scene straight out of a disaster film.

It took a few seconds for everyone to actually process what happened. That the apartment building in front of them was no longer the scene of a knock-and-talk, but instead an explosion with a probable few dozen deaths. When everyone stopped covering their ears and shielding their eyes from the bright raging fires, their first responder instincts finally kicked in.

_ “5021 David, emergency! An explosion just went off at Pinewood Apartments!” _

_ “Voight, you need to get down here now! A bomb just went off.” _

The air around them was already getting hot, and the pieces of paper falling on them and burning their skin didn't help.

“Hailey and Adam are in there.” Jay said as he attempted to sprint towards the building.

Kevin stopped him, using all of his might to hold him back. “We can't go in there, you know that. We have to wait on fire, and they'll have the whole damn department trying to get those two out.” His dark brown eyes stared down at the detective. It's not like he didn't want to save his people, he really did, but it would be worse if they tried.

“No one is responding on the radio, but the connection is still there.” Kim had a worried look on her face as she constantly pushed the talk button on her radio. If it wasn't for Adam volunteering to go with Hailey, it would have been her in there.

Almost immediately, the loud blare of fire truck horns radiated through the air. There were half a dozen trucks, and the same amount of ambulances. To their luck, Firehouse 51 were the first ones to show up.

“There was an explosion on the 5th floor. There was no warning, but we don't know if it's a bomb or what. 2 of our own are in there.” Jay looked at Casey with an intense look, and the latter swore he couldn't even see the coloring of his eyes from how dilated his pupils were.

“Don’t worry, we’re going to get them out.” Casey patted him on the shoulder before turning around and giving orders to his people. Within seconds, a dozen firefighters were sprinting towards the building and another truck moved closer to the fire, connecting a hose to a nearby fire hydrant.

Jay ran his hands through his hair, wanting to do something but in reality he couldn't. He had no idea how long he was standing there, staring at the scene in front of him, before he felt a sturdy hand grip his shoulder.

“Jay, what the hell happened.” Voight said, his eyes also filled with worry.

“Adam and Hailey went upstairs to get them, then it just exploded. We had no reason to think he was going to burn the place up.”

Boden walked up to them, a radio close to his ear. “My guys just reached the 5th floor. They’re going to find your officers as soon as possib;e.” He patted Voight’s back and walked off to bark out some orders. The medics had stretchers ready for any and all injuries.

“Voight, what if -”

“We can't think like that. Just take a few breaths and calm down.”

Voight kept a steady hand on his shoulder, watching him breath in and out. He would be lying if he said he wasn't scared. Filled with worry. Absolutely enraged. But he had to keep a solid composure so the people watching his every move would do the same.

* * *

Adam woke up when he felt water pelting him in the face. When he finally opened his eyes, there was smoke everywhere and the fire alarm was blaring loudly. He sat up slowly, feeling a dull pain in the back of his head. There was no blood, but he must have smacked it pretty hard on the wall behind him. He stood up and steadied himself on the wall, looking at the catastrophe in front of him. All he remembered was walking in the hallway, then next thing he knew, he was flown backwards. He rubbed his eyes to try to get the burning sensation out of them, and squinted to try to focus on what was in front of him.

_ Hailey. _

He could see her laying on the ground several feet in front of him. When they were walking down the hallway, she kept a pretty steady lead, but stopped a few feet from the door to wait on him. That's when everything went downhill.

He did his best to jog towards her, using the walls to keep him steady. The rest of his body didn't hurt, but he was sure he had a pretty good concussion. When he got to her, he dropped to his knees and started to shake her shoulders.

“Hailey, come on, we gotta get out of here.”

He coughed a few times and tried to shield his face from the smoke. It was thicker where she was, closer to the apartment. He took a hand off one of her shoulders and realized she wasn't waking up. He felt a pulse. It was weak, but clearly there. Her shirt had a few small blood splotches, along with a cut on her head. Even through the thick smoke, he could see how well the red liquid stained her bright yellow shirt. A shook her a few more times before resting a hand on the ground. Something sharp cut his palm - a nail. That’s when it hit him that this wasn't caused by something like carbon monoxide or gas, but some form of a bomb.

_ “Fire department, call out!” _

“Over here!” Adam yelled as best as he could, smoke immediately filling his lungs and a new fit of coughs started.

“I got her.” Severide said, placing a hand on his shoulder to gently move him out of the way. With ease, he lifted her into his arms and started speed walking towards the stairs. Another firefighter who was with him helped Adam to his feet and kept an arm around his waist as they walked away from the thick smoke and heat.

“How many,” a new round of coughs kicked in, “how many people have you found?”

“No one below the third floor was affected. We’re still going through the others.” The stairwell that separated them from the smoke allowed Adam to breathe slightly better. Severide was already 3 flights below them. “You made it, man. We’re gonna get you out of here.” The firefighter slipped his oxygen mask off and gave it to Adam, who happily accepted. He was definitely going to have to buy this guy multiple rounds at Molly’s.

* * *

“Hey, we need help over here!” Severide yelled as soon as he emerged from the house. Adam and the other firefighter soon followed, the officer still wearing the oxygen mask. Paramedics rushed to them with stretchers and medical supplies. Of course, officers ran to them as well.

“We need to get her to Med now.” Brett said as she quickly hooked an IV up to Hailey.

“I'm going with you.” Jay said as he helped them push the stretcher to the ambulance.

“Adam, you need to go, too.” Kim said as she tried to coax him the next closest one.

“No, I'm good.” He was offered a bottle of water and downed the contents in record time.

“Ruzek, you’re going to get checked out. No isn't an answer.” Voight barked out to the young man. “We got it covered here.”

Adam simply nodded his head as he laid on a stretcher. He handed the mask to the firefighter who ran back into the building, and accepted a new one from a paramedic he had never met before.

Meanwhile, Jay sat in the back of the ambulance with Hailey, holding her hand tightly as Brett tried to tend to her wounds. He tried to focus on her face, and how soft it looked despite the blood and ash that started to settle on her skin. He didn't want to look at the rest of her body and see how many cuts and bruises she had, or how her shirt was now more red than yellow.

“Come on Hailey, wake up.” He squeezed her hand a few times. Despite all of his attempts, she never squeezed back. He hated needles with every ounce of his being, but he still watched as Brett shoved another one into the bend of her opposite arm.

“She’s barely responding to the light.” The paramedic mentioned as she waved a small flashlight over Hailey’s face. “I’d say she hit her head pretty hard, and she’s bleeding a lot. I gave her another IV to keep up, but I can't pinpoint just one spot.”

She taped some gauze to a cut on her head. She was allergic to adhesive, Jay remembered, but he wasn't going to say anything. It was a minor allergy, something she would have never mentioned if it wasn't for a time when Jay walked up to her desk with a bandaid after getting a paper cut. She wore it, but later on mentioned how itchy her finger was, and showed him a few welts she had after taking it off.

Jay helped as much as he could. Releasing her hand, Brett handed him a few pieces of gauze to try to apply pressure to some cuts on her leg. On about the third cut, something stabbed his palm. Lifting the cotton, he saw a shiny piece of metal sticking half way out of her thigh.

“It’s nails. She’s bleeding so much because there were  _ nails. _ ” He said the last word with emphasis as anger started to come over him. He was angry before, he knew it was a bomb, but up until now, worry and panic outgrew that anger.

“Okay, so no pressure. Just try to absorb some of the blood.”

Moving around the lower half of her body, he tried his best to contain everything. Not just with Hailey, but himself. He felt a part of her shin move a different way than the rest of her leg, and that almost caused him to vomit. Every piece of metal he felt, his face got red with anger. When Brett disconnected an empty IV bad, he just wondered how she could have gone through an entire bag already. She was bleeding a lot, but some part of him wondered if she was actually dehydrated from the amount of coffee she consumed. Then they heard the rushed sounds of beeping coming from a machine attached to Hailey.

“She’s coding.” Brett said as she pushed some medical supplies out of the way and started doing CPR. At first, Jay was in complete shock as he watched the tiny blonde shove her fists down into his girlfriend’s chest. But after a few compressions, he snapped out of it and took over as Brett got the metal paddles ready. “Clear.”

With a single shock, the beeping stopped and Hailey’s heart went back to normal and her oxygen levels rose. Jay sat on the bench and took deep breaths, holding Hailey’s hand again.

“Her heart beats are actually stronger than before, so that can be a good sign.” She put a gentle hand on his shoulder, not wanting to startle him.

“She could have died.” Both of his hands wrapped around her small one, this time not wanting to let go.

“But she didn't. And she wont.”

They felt the ambulance pull to a sudden stop and Jay looked out the window to see the familiar Chicago Med emergency port. There were 2 other ambulances pulling away, so he knew his brother was already up to his knees in trauma cases. The second paramedic opened the doors and when he hopped out, he came face to face with the red haired doctor.

“It’s Hailey. There was a bomb with nails and God knows what else.” He looked at his hands to find them covered in red. His grey shirt that Hailey bought him was also stained with red, and he didn't even want to look at the rest of his clothing.

“We’re gonna help her. She's gonna be okay.” Will patted his shoulder before chasing after the gurney that was being directed by Maggie. 

Jay walked into the emergency room and saw doctors flying everywhere. He couldn't even see what direction Hailey was being wheeled off to before another gurney was rolled in with a screaming woman laying on top of it. Before he did anything, he found the closest bathroom to wash his hands. He wished he had a sponge, or anything that would help un-dye his hands, but instead he resorted to copious amounts of soap and hot water. He decided to forgo looking at himself in the mirror, knowing he would break down if he did so, so he dried his hands and quickly left the restroom.

* * *

It had been 2 hours since Hailey was wheeled past the double doors and into emergency surgery. Will came at the beginning to say it would be a long surgery and he would do his best to keep everyone updated but the incoming traumas would keep him busy. That was 2 hours ago, and they still havent seen him.

“Jay, sit down. You’re starting to wear out the carpet.” Vanessa said as she was curled up in a ball herself. She came to the hospital immediately after it was called over the radio and had sat in the same spot almost the whole time. At one point, Kevin coaxed her into getting a coffee and a bag of chips, but the bag was still unopened and her coffee was now cold.

“I just need an update. I'll sit when I know Hailey is fine.” He walked around the whole waiting room, but always came back to the space where his friends sat. Every once in a while he chewed at his fingernails, a habit Hailey hated and berated him for on their first stakeout together.

Soon, Adam walked into the waiting room. After arriving at the ER, he had a few cuts stitched up but spent the majority of the time going over concussion protocol and even getting a head CT. He was cleared of anything major, but would be on desk duty until he was concussion free.

“Nice to see you guys are worried over me.” He scoffed as he noticed his unit members sitting in chairs or leaning on walls. He had texted Kim updates periodically, but he was left out of the loop in regards to Hailey.

“I swear to fucking-” Jay cut himself off as he lunged at Adam.

After 2 hours, he finally hit his breaking point. While walking around and mostly keeping to himself, he did his best to not think of the worst, but he did. It was out of habit. There were many times overseas where he was waiting on a buddy’s health status, only to find out they died or would be disabled for the rest of their lives. Adam being his cocky self took him over the edge.

He gripped Adam by the shoulders as he saw the look of horror cover the officer’s face. Before he could actually do any harm, Kevin wrapped an arm around Jay’s torso, pulling him back, while Kim and Vanessa tried to keep them separate.

“She’s in there fucking dying, Adam! Not a couple bumps and bruises, but in surgery, fighting for her life. She coded in the ambulance!” Jay could feel hot tears streaming down his face as he yelled at one of his best friends.

“I’m sorry, man. I was just making a joke. I didn't know.” Adam looked hurt and immediately regretted ever saying anything. Luckily, Will walked into the room to break up the tension. Jay wiggled his way out of Kevin’s grip as he rushed in front of his brother.

“She’s still in surgery. They got all of the nails out, she has a pretty good concussion, and a lower leg fracture. They were almost done when her lung collapsed from one of the nails and she coded. They got her back, but they’re still working on her.

Will wasn't just speaking to the members of intelligence, but over a dozen patrol officers, detectives, and other higher ranked officers from all over the chicago police department. They were there to show support for Hailey, yes, but she had also made an impact on so many other people that once they heard the news of the bombing, they had to come to the hospital to know how she was.

“How much longer?” Voight asked from behind his unit.

Will shrugged, “I don't know. Maybe a few hours? It happened when i was about to come here.”

Jay didn't know too much about medical stuff, he never really wanted to. He knew how to save someone long enough until a paramedic took over. A broken leg? She could recover. A concussion? They all get them, it would probably be nothing. But a lung collapse and a second code? Jay knew enough to know that usually was never a good sign. He saw the blast with his own eyes, he was just hoping she wasn't close enough.

“I- sorry. I gotta go.” Jay said softly as he maneuvered around his friends to get to the closest door out of the waiting room. He would have preferred out of the hospital, but before he could reach the exit doors, his body broke down. All his emotions finally hit him. He felt the tears coming out of his eyes as he leaned against the wall and put most of his body weight on a railing. He hated hospitals for a reason.

“Jay?” 

He heard his brother’s voice echo down the hallway, and he didn't even try to compose himself. He didn't even know how far away he was from the waiting room, but Will ran up to him pretty quick.

“I'm good, I swear.” He used one hand to push him away as the other covered his face, trying to wipe some of the tears away.

“Jay, you can cry. No one is going to judge you. Your girlfriend is in surgery right now. It's okay.” He placed a hand on his shoulder, but this time he wasn't pushed away. They stayed like that for a few seconds before Jay got himself together enough to talk.

“She's not just my girlfriend, she's my best friend. If she dies, what am i gonna do? She handles all the bills, makes the grocery list, makes our bed. It's not even things at home, but work too. I would have been fired by now if she wasn't by my side every day.”

“She's not gonna die.” Jay scoffed at his brother as he wiped his nose, “this hospital has some of the best doctors in the country, and they're not going to let that happen, trust me.”

Jay took a few breaths and finally faced his brother. He stopped crying, but his eyes were still red and face stained from the tears. He rubbed his face and could already feel the post-crying headache come on.

“What does this mean for her career? She doesnt know anything except being a police officer.”

“There is a 99% chance she can still be an officer. She has to take it slow for a long time, but after that, she’ll be able to chase you around the street of Chicago like before.” Will smiled, which earned a grin from his little brother. They didnt always see eye to eye, but they knew what to say when it mattered. “I’m going to go watch the rest of her surgery. Youll be okay?”

“Yeah,” he nodded his head, “I’m just gonna chill here for a bit before i go back.”

Will nodded his head before he pulled his brother into a hug. With a final pat on the back, he pulled away and walked towards the surgery wing once more. Jay pulled out his phone to see numerous texts and calls from people he used to work with, people at the firehouse, or just knew him through association with Hailey. He swiped them away and promised himself he would reply later. When he did that, his lock screen picture was finally clear of anything blocking it and he smiled. It was one of his favorite pictures of Hailey, sitting on the counter in their kitchen, wearing his clothes after they got up in the middle of the night to make impromptu pancakes. They werent ones to take many pictures, but he swore they would take more from now on.

* * *

“Hailey is out of surgery and in the ICU.” A doctor, not Will, announced as they walked into the waiting room. After an hour, most of the officers had left, but the intelligence unit was still there. “She’s sedated and won't wake up for a while, but we can let one person go in and see her.”

Jay immediately and unanimously won the vote. He chose Vanessa, but she insisted that he be the first person that sees her. She would still be there, but it was only right for him to go first.

When he walked in the cold room, he didnt really know what to expect. He knew there would be machines and wires all over the place, but the amount of them actually connected to her body was far from what he expected. There were things to monitor her blood pressure, her pulse, her oxygen, and her liquids. He swore there were more bruises from being stuck with needles then from the bomb itself. There was already a cast on her leg, an oxygen tube in her nose, and a tube coming from her chest.

“Surgery went great. We caught the lung collapse before anything major happened, but we have a tube in her chest to monitor it,” She pointed to the thin tube poking out from the side of her chest, “but she is breathing on her own, she just has the oxygen in her nose to help. Head CTs didnt show any brain damage, but she did get a concussion. Her leg break was pretty minor and closer to the ankle, but she’ll have the cast on for about 4-6 weeks until she can be in a boot and start physical therapy. When she wakes up, we’ll brief you two on how that whole process works.”

“Thanks, doc.” He shook her hand before moving to Hailey’s side. 

“When she wakes up, press the call button and the nurse will be in to do a few tests we couldnt do while she was asleep.” He nodded as he made himself as comfortable as possible in a chair. “If you have any questions, let us know. And for paperwork, are you the husband, or..?”

Jay chuckled. She must have been new, as almost every doctor in the hospital knew he was because of his history and his brother. “No, the boyfriend.” She nodded and left the room.

He looked at Hailey from head to toe. She looked peaceful while sleeping, even with all the beeping and things connected to her. There were various amounts of cuts and bruises all over, but Jay swore she was still beautiful. He slipped his hand under hers and held it. She was pretty cold, and knew that when she woke up, she would be asking for more blankets. As much as she loved the colder months, she hated being cold when laying in bed. He stayed that way, just holding her hand and staring at her, before his phone buzzed a few times.

_ Vanessa Rojas: how is she? [sent 14:47] _

_ Vanessa Rojas: Adam and Kim left to clean up and get food, and Kevin is passed out in a chair next to me. [sent 15:00] _

_ Vanessa Rojas: Voight left because of something with the case. Severide came and got him and seemed pretty urgent [send 15:04] _

While going through her texts, specifically the one about food, it made him realize that he hadnt ate anything since that morning. Him and Hailey bought some donuts from the grocery store, but that wouldnt hold him over for much longer.

_ Jay Halstead: she’s good, sleeping. what kind of food? [sent 15:05] _

_ Vanessa Rojas: burgers. I told them your usual order. [sent 15:05] _

Jay smiled and decided it was time to respond to his other messages. 89 in total, to be exact. He didnt know some of the senders, but responded as best as he could. After about the 5th one, he realized copy and paste would be his best friend and he would save the rest for a different time. It was bound to be all over the news.

“How the tables have turned.”

The sudden voice caused Jay to sit up straight. Hailey was looking at him with tired eyes and a small smile on her face.

“You’re awake!” He sat his phone on the bed and cupped her gently cupped her face.

“You dont say.” She smiled again, but started to cough.

Jay searched around from the call button, and pressed it before taking Hailey’s hand again.

“You scared the shit out of me, Hailes. No wonder you get so mad at me when I get shot.”

“Payback kind of hurts.” She tried to laugh before a new round of coughs started. 

A nurse walked into the room and gave them a warm welcome. Neither of them expected her to wake up this soon.

“Hey Hailey, how are you feeling?” She took note of what the machines read.

“I’ve felt better.”

“Unfortunately you’re going to feel that way for a while. Detective Halstead, can i have you stand outside while i do some small tests.”

“No problem.” He stood up and kissed Hailey on the top of the head, trying to be as gentle as possible. “Im gonna go update Vanessa. Ill be back as soon as possible.”

“Please.” She smiled and held on to Jay’s hand as long as she could before he was ushered out by the nurse. He jogged to the closer ICU waiting room and found his co-workers with the good news.

* * *

“Jay, you can go home.” Hailey said, half asleep while lazily playing with his fingers.

While Vanessa spent some quality time with her roommate, Jay went home to shower and get some much needed food. After a few hours, he decided to come back and keep Hailey company once more.

“No way. I didnt pack a bag for nothing.” He kicked at a duffel bag that sat by his feet.

Hailey let out a small laugh, “You need an actual bed to sleep in. Ill be fine by myself for the night.” She let out a yawn. With all of her medication, she has been in and out of sleep since first waking up.

“Voight already said i could have the next few days off. I want to be here with you, Hailes. Plus, ive slept on worse than these hospital chairs.”

“Id let you lay in bed with me but,” she raised her arms to show off the many tubes and wires still connected to her body, “I think it would be even more uncomfortable.”

Jay smiled at his girlfriend, “Get some sleep. Ill be here when you wake up.”

“How did i get so lucky?” Another yawn escaped her.

“You keep me on my toes.” Jay stood up to kiss her cheek. With her eyes closed, she smiled and leaned into it. “I love you, Hailey Upton.”

“Love you too, Jay Halstead.”

When Jay was certain she was fast asleep, he situated himself in the chair as best as he could, pulled a blanket out of his bag, and fell asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another big chapter, but i hope you guys like it. hailey was really in for a doozy in this one, but we got to see more of jay pov and a little halstead brother bonding. dont worry, fluff will soon follow. please comment and tell me what you think!!


	14. almost lost you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hailey seeing her favorite visitors while cooped up in a hospital bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof sorry its been a hot minute since ive updated, but here it is and read the ending notes :)

_**November 6, 2020** _

“I brought the goods.” Jay said as he walked into Hailey’s hospital room with a bag full of McDonalds. He pulled out a container of fries and set them on her bedside table and watched the amount of joy that overcame her.

“An angel, I swear. This hospital food is not it.” She scrunched up her nose as she moved her cafeteria tray with cold mashed potatoes and half eaten jello. Since she was moved to a normal hospital room 2 days ago, she was given the go ahead to start eating real food. Most of the time, it didn't mix well with her medications and she threw it up, but the one thing that stayed down were classic McDonalds french fries.

Jay laughed as he nudged her to scoot over on the bed so he could sit next to her. Since Hailey forced him to go back to work, he always visited during lunch and usually stayed the night in her room. 

“What are we watching today?” He motioned to the small tv that was mounted onto the wall.

“I think it's People’s Court. Everything else is celebrity news or infomercials.” She wasn't even paying attention to the screen, but she had enough time throughout the day to flip through channels and know what was showing.

While shoving fries into his mouth, he leaned into the lumpy pillows and focused his attention on the TV. The current case focused on a man who was trying to divorce his wife over an apparent cheating claim.

“Just imagine having a couple kids, some pets, thinking your life is perfect then bam, someone cheats.” Jay watched in amusement as he started eating his burger.

“The girl would be out of Chicago before she could even get your number.” Hailey gave him a playful smile. She was now watching the drama unfold on screen, which included security camera footage of another guy kissing the woman and leaving the house in the middle of the day.

Jay chuckled, “Fair enough. But what about the kids? We definitely won't have three, that's for sure.” The current argument was now over who got more custody.

“Okay, you won't be getting more than 2 out of me. I'm small, and 1 is probably cutting it. But theoretically, if we did divorce, the kid can go wherever the kid wants to go. We are way different than a bored housewife and a banker, so this argument wouldn't even happen.”

“Because we won't be getting a divorce?” 

“Not a chance.”

Jay looked down at Hailey, who was now curled into his side, and smiled. They didn't talk about their future a lot, but he could definitely see a house, a dog, and a couple kids with Hailey down the line. They were basically a married couple already, just without the married part.

“I can't believe i almost lost you.” Jay said quietly as he rubbed circles into her bare arm.

Hailey shifted her body weight so she could look at him, “What are you talking about?”

“I'm just thinking about our future and I realized you could have died. When that bomb went off, i was terrified. Hell, i still am. But some idiot really almost took my whole future from me and i still can't believe it.”

She could see his eyes glossing over. Other than the breakdown in front of Will, Jay had managed to keep a calm composure over Hailey’s situation. He preferred to focus on Hailey getting better rather than her condition just a few days ago. In between work and spending time with her, his mind was always thinking of other things.

“Well, now you know how it feels to watch the person you love fight for their life. So please quit being reckless from on.” She cracked a smile, which caused Jay to chuckle and smile back.

“I'll bubble wrap myself for good measure. But you have to promise, too.”

“Trust me, I haven't seen myself laying in another hospital bed for a long time.”

Jay wiped his eyes and chuckled again. His lunch break was coming to an end, which always sucked, but then the countdown to dinner could start.

“What big medical things are on the agenda for today?” 

“Another CAT scan and the possibility of lowering my pain medicine. They know i had some brain trauma, but they can't pinpoint why my headaches are so bad.” She laid her head on his chest again.

  
  


Other than her casted leg and throwing up, Hailey had managed the hospital life fairly well. After day 3, her chest tube was removed and she was finally breathing on her own. The next day, she was moved to a regular room so the whole unit could visit her at the same time. But everyday she woke up with a violent headache and was subjected to a handful of tests that made her worn out and ready to sleep by 6pm. Jay hated to see it, but he was reassured by every doctor that it was only so she could get on her feet and back to work sooner.

Jay’s phone buzzed with a text from Kim, his signal that it was time to leave. “Keep me updated and i'll see you tonight. Is Vanessa coming over?” He wiggled his way from under Hailey and replaced himself with pillows as best as he could.

“I dont know. It's always a surprise when she comes over.” She chuckled as she looked at her toes. The day before they were painted a bright shade of yellow to take away from all the whites and greys in the room. Vanessa said it was supposed to make her feel happy, but Hailey was sure it was just because she could never keep nail polish on longer than a week, and what better time to have it never fade than laying in a hospital bed.

Jay kissed her and bid farewells, just in time for a doctor to come in and interrupt them. He caught the beginning of her CAT scan brief before he left to meet Kim outside the hospital.

* * *

A few hours later, Hailey was back in her hospital bed flipping through a number of apps that didn't really peak her interest. Her leg was propped up on a number of pillows to reduce swelling - something the doctor highly recommended for if she wanted to start walking soon, and she was positive her butt lost feeling 30 minutes prior after sitting in the same spot for an unknown amount of time. When she realized she wasn't in the mood for her phone, specifically her boyfriend’s short replies due to a case, she decided to watch TV. The biggest problem? Location of the remote.

She spotted the grey controller on a bedside table too far out of her reach. She debated calling in a nurse to help her, but that came with the unavoidable questions of “how are you feeling?” “how is your head?” and any other overly friendly questions she wasn't in the mood for. She lowered a bed railing and tried to lean to reach it, but her short arms provided no success. Throwing a blanket? Too much noise. Getting up to try and walk? No doubt some pain and unsteadiness from not even standing for a week. She tried leaning, and almost falling over one more time, until her room door opened up.

“Do you need some help?”

A familiar voice giggled as they walked to the desk and handed her the remote. Hailey took it without question, but now wasn't even interested in watching anything.

“Please, Vanessa, tell me you brought a case file or something. Jay didn't bring one and i think i'm losing my mind.”

Vanessa swung a backpack off her shoulders and opened it to pull out not one, but three folders, of cases they closed in the last 48 hours. She handed them to an excited Hailey and laughed as she sat in a bed side chair. 

“I think my roommate senses were tingling. Speaking of-” Vanessa pulled a hoodie out of her backpack. It was oversized and clearly one of Jay’s, but those tended to be some of Hailey’s favorite clothing. 

“How could i live without you?” Hailey slipped the hoodie over her head and rearranged the mirage of wires that were still connected to her body. Despite being in the clear for any major medical issues, the doctors still preferred for her heart and breathing to be monitored, as well an IV since almost any food or liquid didn't agree with her.

Vanessa let out a nervous laugh, “I was actually thinking about something.”

She stayed quiet, almost like a dramatic pause. Hailey looked at her with a cocked eyebrow before nudging her with a foot that was hanging over the bed.

“Ness, you can tell me anything.”

She took a deep breath, “So i know it's kind of bad timing, but i think it's time I get a place of my own. You and Jay can finally live together without worrying about me barging in at any given time. And I've found a couple of decent places that i can afford.”

With eyes already brimmed red, Hailey half-smiled and nodded her head. She knew this day would come eventually, but you can never really prepare for your best friend moving out. They’ve lived together for a while and had a good rhythm down, but she couldn't help but agree.

“So you're not going to watch me fall down the stairs with this clump of plaster on my leg?” Hailey let out a shaky chuckle as she banged her bandaged leg on the bottom of her bed.

“Of course i'm going to be there. Who wouldn't want to miss that?” Both of them laughed, “I won't move out until i know you're fully healed, but it's just been on my mind lately.”

“Well, the key will always be yours.”

Hailey shifted herself further into the bed, leaving a sizable space for a human to sit next to her. She patted the sheets next to her, and Vanessa happily took her shoes off and crawled in the bed next to her. Luckily both women were pretty small so neither one of them had to really worry about falling off. Hailey fanned out the blanket so both of them could enjoy the newfound warmth.

“Im gonna miss this.” Hailey said as she snuggled into Vanessa’s side. When they first became roommates, Hailey knew they would become close, but she never pictured herself being as close as they were. It wasnt the first time they cuddled together, but it usually involved wine and some sort of personal life drama that they had to rant about.

“Trust me, youll get this at least twice a week. With this work load and lack of men in my life, all i have is you to cuddle.”

Another set of laughs erupted from them and filled the small room. After deciding that they werent in the mood for cheesy drama movies anymore, the two decided to talk about cases and workplace gossip until they found themselves fast asleep.

And thats where Jay found them a few hours later. It was well after dark, and Hailey’s bedtime, but a stack of paperwork and a last minute CI meeting forced Jay to work a little longer than he anticipated. He expected his girlfriend to be fast asleep, but he usually just pulled up a chair and played with his phone until he fell asleep himself. Instead, he stood in the doorway and admired how comfortable the girls looked. Vanessa had her head resting on Hailey’s shoulder and the blanket was wrapped snugly up to their chins. Despite the neck ache Jay knew they would both have, he refrained from waking them up. Rather than doing that, he quietly walked around the room to turn off any lights and the TV before taking one last look at them and leaving. It would be the first night he would sleep in his bed at home, and it wouldnt be a good sleep with Hailey being away, but he didnt mind knowing that the girls were getting much needed bonding time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!! sorry guys for not updating as fast as i usually would. work, and overall life, has been really busy lately. i intend to write more frequently, but that all depends on how much sleep my body wants to have haha.  
> this chapter isnt as long as some of my others, but i wanted to post something new and add a few fluff scenes of hailey and her favorite people.  
> just because vanessa is leaving the show *insert many sad faces* i dont intend on writing her off (at the moment). her and hailey share too big of a bond to suddenly end it. but i do feel like upstead finally needed their own place.  
> alright, i really hope you guys enjoyed reading. please comment what you thought and let me know if theres anything i should add!!


	15. i need a drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hailey's first day of desk duty

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, thank you puckluck28 on tumblr for the constant inspiration and ideas you give me!!

_**December 7, 2020** _

It took Hailey exactly 5 weeks for her to come back to work due to the sheer boredom she experienced at home.

After she was released from the hospital, she was excited to finally be able to lay in her own bed and do what little things she could do around the house. Jay and Vanessa would visit her throughout the day, but as the days dragged on and cases piled up, their visits were shorter and she just accepted that she would only see them after their shifts. A few small falls down the stairs and slipping in the shower didn't stop Hailey from roaming the house, but she did promise Jay she would stop texting him “i made a mistake” every time she went downstairs and struggled coming back up. At week 4, she was placed in a walking boot, off of almost all of her meds, and cleared from any further medical complications, so she decided it was time to go back to work. That was only after promising the doctor it was desk duty only.

“There’s my girl.” Kevin smiled as Hailey walked into the bullpen, her footsteps being heard from down the hallway. He gave her a big bear hug and she reciprocated as best as she could.

Jay followed behind her, carrying a backpack filled with case files she hoarded over the weeks and snacks he thought she would like. He placed it on her chair and watched from afar as she bonded with all her coworkers she hadn't seen for more than an hour on any given day.

“Glad to have ya back, Hailes.” Adam gave her a side hug before the remaining girls could interject and have a big bonding moment. Kim, Vanessa, and Hailey had more “girl’s nights” while she was at home, but Jay was still shocked to hear the loud giggling erupt from them.

After a few minutes, the raucous settled down by Voight just simply walking in. He gave Hailey a fist bump and gave her a rare smile before slapping a new file onto Jay’s desk.

“Welcome back, Upton. I know it’s early in the morning, but we already have a triple homicide on the south side that the mayor wants us to look at. Unfortunately we can't have you on the streets with us, but you think you can handle all the in-house operations?”

The blonde nodded her head, “Sure thing, Sarge. Give me all the details and I'll start immediately.” She threw her coat on a nearby hook and settled into the chair she didn't think she would miss so much.

“We don't have much right now, but we’ll send it over when we get it. The rest of you ready?”

At that, the rest of the team grabbed their cold weather gear and descended out of the bullpen, making sure to give Hailey a fist bump or pat on the shoulder on the way out. Jay was the last one to leave, making sure she was prepared for her first day back.

“You gonna be okay by yourself?”

“Yes, Jay. This isn't my first time here.” She chuckled as she logged into her computer.

“Yeah, but it's your first time on desk duty. For me, it was a literal hell.”

“Won't be bad, as long as you provide every single detail.”

Jay chuckled as he leaned over and gave her a peck on the lips. After a month and a half of not having his partner by his side, he still hated walking through the doors without her by his side. But at least she was at the district and not reorganizing the closest for the sixtieth time.

* * *

“All of them shot in the chest with a 9mm. Two of them had baggies of cocaine on them and the third had a large wad of cash.” The responding officer explained to the unit as a forensics team bagged up the evidence.

“So, they were buying and selling and someone shot them? Sounds like a case for homicide-robbery, narcotics, or even gang unit.” Jay said as he shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.

“Mayor specifically requested the Intelligence Unit.”

Voight shrugged his shoulders before moving the yellow tape to get closer to the body. He was swiftly handed 3 IDs that matched each offender.

“Give these names to Upton and have her run them. Ruzek and Atwater, see if you can find any pod footage from the area. The rest of you, try to get statements from as many people as possible. If this was a retaliation, the offender is probably still mad out there.”

All of them nodded as they accepted their orders. Jay sent pictures of the IDs to Hailey before trying to get information from anyone standing around. He had very good odds that no one would come forward, but they had to start somewhere.

* * *

The sound of velcro constantly moving caught the attention of Platt, who was reading a news article on her computer. Lowering her glasses, she was ready to yell at someone until she saw her favorite detective standing in front of her desk.

“Is there any way to make that thing any quieter?” She slipped her glasses on her head and focused all of her attention on the woman.

“Trust me, i've tried. Poor Jay hasn't gotten a full night of rest in days.” Hailey let out a huff before crossing her hands on the top of the desk.

“Are you bored, Detective?” Platt let out a chuckle, knowing Hailey was probably bored out of her mind.

“Oh my god,” She shifted her position, which caused the velcro to move, “they gave me one job and I did it in 3 seconds flat. I thought I would like being back, but being home is looking better and better.”

“Hailey,” she gave a sincere look, “sometimes, the little stuff is the most important. Chasing bad guys and shooting guns is fun, but how many times have you solved a case just because you found a missing name or looked at some security footage?”

“How did you do it, Sarge? Getting through an injury? Because i'm starting to lose my mind over here.”

Platt looked at Hailey and could clearly see she was stressed. She lived for the active parts of the job and never got familiar with the passive parts. For years, she was racing to be the first one on scene, and now she couldn't even be on one.

“Take the time and focus on other things. Keep working on getting fully healed, but work on other things too. Like that handwriting.”

“Sarge!”

Platt put up her hands in defense, “What! It's looking a little sloppy lately.” After a small laugh, she continued, “But seriously, there's other things. When I was hurt, I tried new foods, improved my relationship with my family, improved my relationship with others, if you know what i mean.” She winked and tried to nudge Hailey, who had taken a step back from the desk.

“I'll take those into consideration.” Hailey shook her head as she felt her phone vibrate. It was a text from Jay, who said that they caught a lead and had to be on standby for any quick information. “I gotta go to desk stuff.”

“Let me know if any of my ideas help.”

Hailey just gave her a thumbs up while trying to go up the stairs as fast as she was able.

* * *

After talking to a few family members of the deceased, the unit had a good lead on who had done the murders. Everyone involved were low-level gang members, and when the 3 men sold the killer, Jace McDonald, a less amount of drugs than agreed upon, McDoanld decided to take it upon himself to sort the deal right. Every person that had talked had led the team right to his direction, at an apartment that he shared with a friend.

“Halstead and Burgess take the back, Ruzek and Atwater take the front, Rojas stay outside with me for any escapes.” Voight put out orders as they congregated next to his car. They didn't expect McDoanld to be violent based on his priors, but he did kill 3 men in a span of 60 seconds.

Everyone separated and took their positions. As soon as Atwater busted the front door, two men inside tried to make a run for it. The house was a small two story, but neither man made it up the stairs. The first man, who hardly put up a fight, was promptly tackled by Ruzek. He claimed he had no knowledge of what his friend did the evening before, but that didn't stop the officers from putting cuffs on him.

McDonald, on the other hand, escaped the front breachers much quicker. He ran to the back of the house and caught a glimpse of Halstead at his only exit. When the detective came closer, McDonald swiftly avoided any takedowns and punched Jay in the face. This was followed by 2 more punches before Jay could comprehend what was happening and shove him into a wall with such force he thought they were going to go through it.

“Stop moving, or I swear to God!” Jay yelled, trying to keep the squirming man still long enough to handcuff him.

“Quit resisting!” Kim yelled, keeping her gun aimed at him.

After a few more seconds, the man gave up and finally let the police arrest him. Atwater rushed over to help and decided to take McDonald while Jay tended to his wounds.

“You want to go to Med?” Kim asked, giving him a tissue that she stored in one of her vest pockets.

“I'm good, I have bandaids in my truck.” He winced as he touched his cheek, feeling the blood seep through the thin material. It was already swollen, along with his lip and jaw. “I just want to see the son of a bitch go to prison for good.”

“3 murders plus assaulting a peace officer and resisting arrest? I don't think he’ll see daylight again.” Kim patted his back as they started walking out of the house. The two had been partners since Hailey had been out. They butted heads almost every day, but at the end of the day, they worked well together and got the job done. Jay would occasionally come home with some work place drama, especially since he had to hear all about Kim and Adam being an on and off couple again. Despite Kim being a great cop and no doubt soon to be detective, he was ready to have his favorite partner back.

* * *

“Jay, what the fuck?”

Those were the first words that came out of Hailey’s mouth when the unit walked in. She had already been given the run down on the outcome of the raid, but they left out the details regarding the three new small bandaids and some bruises covering half of Jay’s face.

“I got caught off guard, it's no big deal.” He shrugged as he threw his jacket over his chair. “I already called Will and i dont need stitches.”

Hailey shook her head in disbelief as she walked past him to get to the white board, volunteering herself to clear the board and close the file. She already had most of the paperwork done, so the rest of the team just needed to do their own stack of papers so it could be turned in.

“Things got a little rough out there,” Voight said, breaking the silence as he motioned to Jay, “but we sure as hell am happy to have you back, Upton. You helped us piece together everything and can't wait for you to be mobile again.” 

“Thank you, Sarge. Just happy to be at work again.”

Voight smiled and nodded before walking back into his office. With the sound of Hailey’s velcro, Jay knew she was walking away. In the corner of his eye, he watched her walk out of the bullpen and into the locker room.

“What’s up, Hailes?”

“Nothing, I'm just getting ready to leave.” She ripped her jacket off of a hanger, resulting in the hangar to bang against the back of the locker so loud it made Jay flinch.

“Thats crazy, because i'm the one who can drive and i have paperwork to do.” He jiggled his keys in the air. “So again, whats up.”

“Both of us can't be hurt, Jay.” She angrily said at him. “You don't just get ‘caught off guard’. Ever. If you're distracted by me being here, or some other reason, just tell me.”

“Hailey,” he shoved his keys back in his pocket and took her by the shoulders, “I think it's great that you're here and not cooped up in the house anymore. I want you to be here. I wasn't expecting the guy to run that fast at me and then jab me in the face.” He rubbed circles into her upper arm, frowning at how stupid his mistakes were.

“Well, quit getting hurt, or i'll make the bubble wrap actually happen.”

He chuckled as he kissed the top of her head, “You’re losing your mind already, huh?”

“Desk duty is so boring.” She let out a breathy laugh as she wrapped Jay in a hug. “I need a drink.”

“So do i. How about I finish up this paperwork real quick and we hit up Molly’s.”

“Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> late night filler chapter. just wanted to show off a little hailey on desk duty. but dont worry, more angst is in the future ;)  
> lemme know what you guys think by commenting down below! i love reading each and every thing that gets posted!


	16. down a hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jay gets so unfortunate news about an old friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> massive ass thank you to puckluck28. forever thankful for her.

_ **December 21, 2020** _

As an officer, you do a lot of on-the-job training. How to write tickets, how to tape off a scene, how to write tickets. Those are all a part of the basics, though. Things that are drilled into your brain and should be able to do with no thought. One thing that you are taught but never gets easier, is telling a loved one that someone has died. Each reaction is different, whether it's a full on breakdown with tears and screaming, or a look of shock with the door slammed in your face. Jay had done it multiple times over the years, but he never expected he would be the one on the receiving end.

“Hello?” Jay answered the door, groggy from being woken up from a doorbell at 2 in the morning and Hailey elbowing him to answer it.

“Are you Jay Halstead?”

After rubbing his eyes, his vision was able to focus better. 2 men stood in front of him in Army uniforms, each of them having the signature Ranger and 3rd Ranger BTN tabs velcroed onto their sleeves.

“I am.”

He could hear Hailey’s footsteps creak on the hardwood behind him, but he was now fully awake and focused on the soldiers in front of him, one of whom was holding a letter.

“May we enter?”

Jay moved to the side for the men to enter. He quietly closed the door and felt Hailey attach herself to his side. This was like a horrible dramatic movie he had seen a dozen times, and now he was living in it.

“ The Secretary of the Army has entrusted me to express his deep regret that Sergeant Greg Gerwitz was killed in action in Baghdad, Iraq on December 20, 2020 as a result of an IED explosion in support of Operation Inherent Resolve. The Secretary extends his deepest sympathy to you and your family in your loss.”

One of the men, also a sergeant, handed him a white envelope. Jay had never been an Army notifier, but he knew the letter would include more information other than that he was Mouse’s only emergency contact and the closest thing he had to family.

Jay felt a small hand slip up his back as he took the envelope in his hands. At some point, they began to tremble and he swore his knees were going to give out from under him. The soldiers kept talking, but Jay couldn't focus on anything of what was being said. He could see Hailey’s eyes shift between the men in uniform and him, and he was hoping that she was paying a little bit of attention.

“Again, sir, we are very sorry.”

The men stayed for a few seconds to make sure Jay wouldn't actually drop to his knees before walking towards the door. He nodded his head and said a quick thanks before closing the door, letting his body finally fall against it as it shut. He went to war and back with this man, shared some of his best and worst memories with him, and now he’ll never see him again. 

* * *

“Eat something.”

Hailey slid a plate full of eggs and bacon in front of Jay. She had managed to take a small nap before making breakfast, but all Jay did was lay in bed, wide awake.

“I’m not hungry.” He moved the plate a few inches from where Hailey sat it. The letter sat on the table, still unopened and barely touched in the few hours he’s had it.

“I know, but you have to eat something. We ate an early dinner yesterday and you haven't eaten since.”

With pleading eyes, she looked at her hurt boyfriend as she moved the plate once more. She could already see the outlines of bags starting to form beneath his dark green eyes. Without fighting, he nodded his head and picked up the fork to poke at his simple breakfast.

“What are you thinking, Jay?” Prodding at her own food, she wanted Jay to say more than just a few words at a time. This was probably the worst time of his life, and she wanted to be there for him. When his dad died, she wanted to be there, but they were still fairly new partners and didn't know how to be there for one another yet. This time she was determined to not let him push her away.

Jay shrugged, “I still can't believe it. We just saw him a few months ago. I like...I just-” he shook his head again, trying to hold back any tears that were forming, “I still think he’s going to call any moment, to say this is some big joke and he’ll be home in time for Christmas. He wanted to come home this year and celebrate for the first time in years.”

He looked into the living room where a big, bright Christmas tree stood. Neither of them were big on the holidays, but being their first Christmas together, they decided to get a tree and decorate it with as many string lights and cheap ornaments as they could find. There weren't many presents under it, and the decorations were not the best, but they vowed to do better as the years went on.

Hailey put a comforting hand on his forearm. He gave a teary, small smile as he covered her hand with his own.

“We should get ready for work.” He ate a single bite of food before shoving the plate for a final time, ending the food battle.

“I already told Voight we won't be in today, and he understood. We’ll make space for his things and just take the day easy.”

Jay got up and gave her a quick kiss on the head before heading up the stairs, not saying a single word. When he was out of sight, she ran her hands over her face and into her messy hair. Just as she was fully healed and Jay was finally comfortable with her working full time, life had to give him another emotional hurdle to overcome.

* * *

Jay spent most of that day moving between the bed and their office, moving things around to make space for Mouse’s belongings. He didn't have much, just a few boxes, but every time he finished one box, he had to take a break to mentally prepare himself for the next.

He'd had friends die. It came with the job, but in no way did he expect his best friend to die. He never even gave it a thought. He knew when Mouse re-enlisted it would be dangerous, it was when they were overseas years earlier, but he never thought he would see his friend come home in a flag covered casket.

It wasn't until the next day and a lot of thinking that he finally decided to open the envelope. Hailey never mentioned it, she knew it would be hard. She helped in any way - bringing him water in bed, hugging him at unexpected times, and even comforting him when he finally broke down the night before. He convinced her to go to work that day because she already missed so much. He liked her being there, just her presence calmed him down, but he wanted a few hours to himself, the quiet house, and the letter.

_ Buddy, _

_ If you’re reading this, it's probably not good. Sorry. _

_ After I left in August, we went straight to Iraq and it's been a field trip ever since. There's a lot going on, but luckily our times in Afghanistan kind of prepared me for this one. Of course it's not my first time here, but this one just feels different. I always write these dumb letters during deployment, then throw them away after. But if you have to read this one, well, shit. _

_ It's gonna suck not having me around, but don't dwell over me. I know how you are. Whatever you do, don't push Hailey away. She’s it for you, man. I've seen you with Erin. I've even seen you get married, but this girl, she's the one. And I only spent one weekend with you guys! _

_ Don't do one of those lame memorial funds or cry over me like they do in movies. Go to Molly’s and have a shot for me. Hell, have a whole bottle. Put my flag and awards in one of those cool shadow boxes and throw the rest away. It's probably covered in sand anyway. But don't do anything that we would have made fun of back in the day (like when Cooper’s wife got that big Army tattoo on her back. Don't do that). _

_ Anyway, you are my best friend, Jay. You helped me through so much. Drugs, alcohol, homelessness, you name it. You mean a lot to me and I want you to know that. I died serving my country, and I'm glad I did. Yeah, dying sucks, but I did it doing something I love. You were notified because no one ever supported me like you did, and I couldn't be anymore thankful.  _

_ Do great things, marry that girl, and please, please, don’t cry again. _

_ (I know you already did. Stop!) _

_ Love you, buddy. _

_ \- Mouse _

_ \- Aka SGT Greg T. Gerwitz _

_ Written 19 November 2020 _

Jay couldn't help but chuckle when he finished the letter. Of course Mouse would write a letter like this. He loved serving his country, knew he would die doing it, and had to tell Jay exactly what to do when he did pass away. He re-read the letter a dozen times, imagining Mouse saying everything, before folding it up and putting it back in the envelope that it came from.

“Jay?”

He heard the front door shut and footsteps coming towards him. It was already 4pm, and Hailey was finally off work. He didn't even realize how fast time had gone by until she heard her voice.

“Hey, babe.” He outstretched his arms and pulled her into a hug before giving her a kiss.

“You read the letter?” Hailey motioned to the ripped envelope as she dropped her bag on the floor. “How do you feel?”

“Better. I needed to read it. Mouse, he's one of a kind. Even in the middle of a desert he knew what to say.”

Hailey smiled as she played with the little hairs on the back of his neck. For a while, she was genuinely worried about him. Worried that he would be depressed and go back to the state he was in after Luis Vega died. But finally seeing the light reappear in his eyes made her smile.

“The funeral is tomorrow. I think i should wear a suit instead of my uniform. Mouse would have thought it was corny.”

* * *

**_Late August, 2020_ **

The sound of the doorbell and a sharp knock on the door woke Jay from a deep nap on the couch. Hailey was curled into his side, letting out soft snores as The Office played in the background. Without trying to wake her, he slid off the couch and tip-toed to the front door as a new round of knocks started.

“Mouse? What the heck!”

“Hey buddy.”

The man in Army camouflage stood before him, a wide smile covering his face and a big duffel bag resting at his feet. Without hesitation, Jay wrapped him in a tight hug, not expecting a visit from his best friend.

“Why didn't you tell me? I could have prepared.” Jay said sheepishly, trying to smooth out his gym shorts and old academy t-shirt.

“That beats the element of surprise.”

“Jay?” A tired Hailey emerged from the living room, trying to wipe her eyes of any tiredness. 

“So this is the girl?” Mouse said under his breath as he looked between his best friend and his girlfriend.

Jay nodded his head in response, “Good morning, babe. Hailey, this is Mouse. Mouse, this is Hailey.”

Hailey’s bright blue eyes lit up. From pictures, to letters, and the few phone calls, she had heard so much about the man standing before her. Even the original members of Intelligence would occasionally talk about the few years he was attached to the unit.

“Nice to finally meet you! I've heard a lot about you.” 

“Good things, I hope.” He elbowed his friend as he walked in the door. He went straight for Hailey to give her a warm handshake. Despite the both of them knowing a lot about each other from other sources, he decided to pass on a hug in case it crossed any boundaries she might have against new faces.

“How long are you here for?” 

“Just the weekend. I'm going up to Wisconsin to meet up with a few buddies before I head back to base.” He slid his duffel across the floor before sliding off his boots. Despite tracking through many airports, they still had a significant amount of dust on them and didn't want to make anything dirty. “It’s been a long time.”

Mouse and Jay enveloped in another hug. It had been at least 2 years since he had come home last. With deployments and back to back trainings, he could never find the time to go north and visit the man he considered a brother.

“I didn't know what you guys had planned-”

“We have nothing going on, Mouse. Our time is yours now.”

“Well let's spend  _ our  _ time at Molly’s”

After setting Mouse up with an air mattress in the office, they all changed into the appropriate clothing for going out. As expected, the bar was fairly busy for a Saturday, but that didn't stop them from securing a table and ordering a few rounds of drinks. A few people who knew Mouse came up and greeted him, but the majority of the people who stopped at their table were firefighters making friendly conversation.

“Marry her.”

Jay almost spit his beer at his friend’s comment. He made it at a perfect timing, with Hailey getting a round at the bar and Jay taking a drink of his beer.

“What?”

“I'm just making a statement. I've seen you guys for what, 6 hours? You guys love each other so much it actually makes me sick.” 

“We’ve only been dating a few months.” Jay grabbed a handful of napkins and was cleaning up his mess while simultaneously listening to his friend explain himself.

“And? I've seen people get married after 2 weeks of dating and they stay married a lifetime, no offense.” Jay groaned at the thought of his short lived marriage years prior. “You guys are so in sync. You basically finish each other's sentences. Not to mention how touchy and close you are. Over the phone, you talk about how great it is to have her as a partner because of how well you work. Dude, just seal the deal.”

Mouse finished his sentence right as Hailey came up with three more beers. She took a seat next to Jay, placing a casual hand on his thigh, and looked between the boys. Mouse was all smiles as he finished his previous beer, and Jay had a deer in the headlights look.

“What did I miss?”

Mouse chuckled, “I was telling your boy about these two who got caught shacking up in a humvee just four feet from a high ranking officer.”

Jay’s mind finally caught up with the conversation and he let out a nervous sounding chuckle. He took his beer and chugged a few generous sips before rejoining the conversation.

“I don't know why I'm so shocked, anything can happen in the desert when you’ve been out there for months at a time.”

Hailey gave him a quick confused look before shaking her head and laughing. Mouse told the story, along with anything else crazy he could think of, until the night was over and multiple beers had been consumed by all three of them.

_ **December 23, 2020** _

The funeral was harder on Jay than he expected, but he continuously thought of the words Mouse had put in his letter. He didn't cry and had a few drinks at Molly’s, but now he was sitting on the couch, still in his suit, replaying every moment of the event. 

The sheer silence of the cemetery while his casket was being carried by members of his current unit, the sniffles of his friends while the chaplain spoke, and words being cut in and out by threatening tears from anyone else who spoke. Of course Jay said the eulogy, keeping it short and sweet by saying he was his best friend, his brother, and the world was down a hero. The bugles still rang in his ears, as taps were being played while Jay received his ceremoniously folded up flag. The gun shots of the three-volley salute were muffled as he tried to contain all emotions as he ran his hand over the flag, the last piece of Mouse he would receive.

People coming up to him to give their condolences never stopped, even when he left the bar early to go home. Even from people he had never known existed were making their way to him to say they were sorry for his loss. At Molly’s, it got better. A small tribute from Hermann and consistent rounds of shots made Jay feel better. Surrounded by his friends who told funny stories of Mouse in Intelligence lightened the mood. But after a few hours, Jay was worn out and needed to go home, away from the ‘I'm sorrys’, dress clothes, and thin cloud of sadness that still hung over everyone.

“Jay, are you okay?”

Hailey squeezed his thigh to bring him out of his thoughts. They sat on the couch, still in fancy clothing, but with Jay’s shirt unbuttoned and tie loosely hanging around his neck, the back of Hailey's dress half unzipped. The day had been exhausting, Jay barely holding it together, Hailey’s heart breaking watching the man she loves lay his best friend to rest. The funeral, the service, the strangers coming up to him to have small conversations about the barely significant memories they had of Mouse.  His smile had momentarily returned at Molly’s, surrounded by real friends, people who cherished how much Mouse meant to him, yet even then, he’d been so overwhelmed by everything that everything had seemed a hazy memory. Now in the silence of their home, however, with Hailey snuggled into his side, things were getting clearer, his mind processing what’s happened, Mouse’s letter, the memories…

Hailey waited for his answer, watched as the gears turned in his head. She didn’t expect him to tell her he was okay. She knew he wasn’t. How could he? In truth, she didn’t even need an answer, but just a sign that he wasn’t spiraling, that he was there with her, that he knew he wasn’t alone, that he knew she’d be by his side whether he liked it or not. She would take any answer, but nothing could prepare her for what she received in response.

Hailey thought she was mistaken when the soft ghost of a smile appeared on his lips, the first genuine smile he’d give in days, but she knew it was no mistake as his green eyes locked onto her blue ones. There was so much love in his eyes, such an intensity she had never seen before. He held her tightly against his chest for a moment, the haze in his mind immediately clearing as he found comfort in the silence of the moment and Hailey’s presence. When everything fell into place, the events of the day and memories fitting in like puzzle pieces, he knew exactly what to do and finally spoke.

“Marry me.” There was no doubt in his adoring velvety whisper. Hell, it was more of a statement than a question. Hailey had been his rock since the news of Mouse’s passing, even more so than she had ever been since she’d walked into his life, and in that moment, just sitting there with her in his arms after one of the worst days of his life, he had hope that things would somehow be okay again, all because she was by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> big big thank you to puckluck28 on tumblr for helping me sort some of the parts in this (and correcting many grammar mistakes, oof). couldnt have given a character death justice without her editing and basically writing the ending for me. forever grateful for google docs and shared editing.  
> with all the drama that has happened to hailey, why not give jay a little hard time (cant be fluff all the time *winky face*)  
> anywho, let me know what you thought!! please leave a comment and follow my tumblr haileys-jay


	17. i wouldn't want to be anywhere else

**_December 23, 2020_ **

“Marry me.”

If Jay had said it in anything less than a serious tone, she’d have thought that he was joking, that all the emotions over the last few days had finally reached a peak and this was how he was releasing them: an impromptu proposal. But the look he gave her was too perfect. Behind his tired eyes was nothing but love, and his small smile was as heartwarming as the large ones he gave her on a daily basis.

Hailey, on the other hand, was in complete shock. To be fair, as well as she knew him, there’d be moments on any given day where she’d have no idea what would come out of his mouth, but this, an impromptu proposal on the day his best friend got buried… This one was a shocker. They still had a lot of learning to do about each other. Sure they knew each other better than anyone else in their lives, they’d been through thick and thin, gone through almost any kind of major life event together, before and after they became a couple. And if she had to be honest, Hailey knew since the day she’d met Jay that he was the man she would spend the rest of her life with. She loved him with her whole heart and she’d follow him blind, even into marriage, but she still sat there in shock, mouth agape, still trying to find the words in her head to form a cohesive answer. 

She was about to respond, but Jay acted faster and his voice broke the comfortable silence.

“I know this is far from the proposal you deserve.” Hailey could tell he knew he’d caught her off guard. “And I want to give you that: the ring, the get down on one knee and ask you to spend forever with me.. The whole nine yards, but I just needed you to know that I can't live my life without you, Hailes. I knew it before, but after this week, I needed you to know, too.”

Hailey wasn’t one to tear up at romantic things, but in that moment, hearing the raw emotion in Jay’s voice, the day’s events, and simply being there in his arms right now, she couldn’t help the thin sheet of tears covering her blue orbs. Blinking a couple times, she smiled and took his open hand into hers, playing with his fingers as she allowed herself to relax back into his side. “Well, when you do officially ask,” She trailed her finger over his ring finger before intertwining their fingers together, “Just know that I'll say yes. There is never a time I don’t say yes.” Jay couldn’t help the big grin spreading on his lips at hearing her words, feeling genuine happiness for the first time since the news of Mouse’s passing. He had no words, just pure happiness and hope rushing through him as he squeezed her closer to him in response. “Though, when I think about it, except maybe on Christmas.” Hailey continues, cuddling into his side. “I love you, but I hate holiday proposals, so cliché and forced. I get it’s cuffing season but jeez! There are literally 363 other days to propose!”

Jay chuckled at his girlfriend’s rant. Oh how calming and soothing it was to be just the two of them, away from the heartbreak and pain Mouse’s death had taken over the past few days. “I promise you that  _ Santa _ is not bringing you a ring this Christmas.” Hailey rolled her eyes at his comment.. “And neither am I. I haven't even bought one, I just had to let you know what was on my mind.”

As they fell into yet another comfortable silence once their laughter died, he kicked his legs onto the coffee table in front of them, the sudden weight shaking the items on it: an unlit candle, an empty glass left from the night before, and a few snowman statues Hailey had put out as Christmas decorations. The only light emitting throughout the room was a Christmas tree that had all the lights and garland but lacked ornaments due to the couple’s procrastination. 

With all the reminders of the holiday season around him, and the warmth of the moment, Jay couldn’t believe where he was and how fast time had passed, his mind wandering to his last memory of Mouse from when he had surprised them in August. Only a couple months ago they’d been sitting at Molly’s, having beers, laughing and joking as they had reminisced about the good old days. Though all the joking aside, Mouse’s words from that night had stuck to him. Two words spoken so casually. Two words that were sure to be his future.  _ “Marry her.” _

Jay let out a soft chuckle at his best friend’s voice echoing in his head before he spoke. “You know, Mouse was actually the one who told me to marry you.” He felt Hailey perk up at his voice breaking the silence once again, moving her head to look at him but not physically moving off of his chest. She wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a gentle squeeze as he looked straight ahead with a goofy grin on his face. “He watched us for an hour and he knew we would get married.” He spoke more to himself than Hailey, who was happy to just let him talk, knew that he just needed to talk. “Though I always thought he would be in the wedding. Not the best man, because Will might murder someone, but definitely a groomsman.” Neither Hailey nor Jay were the kind of people to really imagine their perfect wedding, or care about the details at all really, but once Jay’d realized he wanted to marry the girl of his dreams, he’d always thought he’d have Will and Mouse by his side. “He would have hated being the best man. The man’s not the one to really get involved in decorating or picking suits, but he sure would have thrown an awesome bachelor party.”

Hailey joined Jay in remembering those August days as they laughed in unison at the thought of the weekend Mouse stayed with them. Despite all the travel and amount of sleep he probably needed, he'd still brought them to the bar and partied into the early hours of the morning. That and almost every other story involved him and Jay partying while in the Army, and those habits never left when he got out and rejoined with a new group of young soldiers.

“You can bring out your inner Mouse at the reception.” Hailey suggested, the image of Mouse dancing on one of the bar tables popping in her head before he’d joined a group of U Chicago baseball kids around the keg. “As long as it doesn't involve chugging an entire keg in one sitting.”

“No promises.”

“It’s cute that you even think there will be a keg at our wedding.”

“Hey, you brought it up.” Jay pointed out, mock defensively. “Plus, even if we didn’t, I’m pretty sure Ruze and Severide show up to events with a keg in their car, just in case.”

They let out another laugh as Hailey rolled her eyes, something Jay couldn't see from her position. Since they came into the house, there was a different air about them. Not because of a potential engaged status, but because for the first time in days, Jay had finally started to act like himself. It would take days, maybe even weeks for him to fully be himself, but Hailey would be there every step of the way, no matter how long it took.

“Do you want to put ornaments on the tree? There are two days until Christmas and it’s looking a little bare.” Both of their heads swiveled to look at the tree. There were a few wrapped presents sitting on the tree skirt under it, but the box full of decorations sat off the side. “It can be a new tradition: procrastinate until the very last minute, or until Kim yells at us.”

Just a week earlier, Kim had come over for drinks and noticed the lack of holiday decor around their house. Her apartment had been decorated since Thanksgiving, forcing the unit to put up her tree and hang lights around every window and doorway after their feast. It looked like a pinterest board came to life and Hailey applauded her job, but with the amount of work they had and the events over the last few days, neither Jay nor Hailey could muster up the energy to fully decorate for the holiday.

Jay kissed the crown of her head before standing up, throwing his tie and suit jacket on the couch and helping Hailey up who quickly pushed the box of ornaments in front of the tree. The box contained a mixture of ornaments from both their Christmases past: some store bought ornaments Hailey thought were good enough to keep from last year, an assortment of sports themed ones from Jay, then there were a few from his childhood that his mom passed down before she died. Hailey loved seeing those few tokens of Jay’s past, the happy times he’d spent with his mother. Unlike his happy memories, Hailey’s family didn't celebrate much of anything, much less Christmas, so she didn’t have the classic ‘baby’s first Christmas’ or homemade school projects like many kids had, but she was okay with that. She was happy to make new memories and traditions with Jay.

“My Walter Peyton is for sure going at the top.” Jay giggled as he showed her a small bobblehead attached to a string.

“No it's not.”

“Who’s stopping me?” He lifted the ornament far above her head, out of her reach, and placed it towards the top and in the middle. Hailey appreciated his height so she could finally get things off a top shelf or replacing light bulbs without a chair, but she didn't appreciate it at this moment particularly. “This has been on every tree I've ever had since I was 12, and it's definitely going on this one.”

“Just didn't picture a football player on the top of my tree.” She mumbled under her breath. Though said low, it was loud enough for him to hear. A devilish grin appeared on his face and he immediately tackled her into a tight hug, pressing his fingers into her side soft enough to tickle her and turn her into a fit of giggles. When she finally composed herself, they compromised in evenly distributing his ornaments among hers, putting together a nice red and sports themed tree.

“Can I put the tree topper on?” She asked, looking at the top with a plastic star in her hands.

“Get on my shoulders.”

“Excuse me?”

He adjusted his pants so they wouldn't rip and squatted in front of her. At this point, she had completely shed her dress and was wearing his button up, so her dress wouldn't be an issue.

“It's either this, or we dig through the mess of a garage to get the ladder out. Just trust me.”

She chuckled as he patted each shoulder. When she got on him and wrapped her legs around his torso, he slowly stood up, balancing her weight so they wouldn't fall over. He gripped the top of her bare legs, trying to suppress a laugh as she actually let him do this. They had plenty of tall chairs around the house, but he couldn't resist the opportunity. When she finally put the star on and made sure it looked close to perfect, she rested her hands on the top of his head, messing with his hair as he walked backwards to get a full view of the tree.

“Hailey, this is probably the best tree I've ever seen. Kim would be proud.”

“Surprisingly, Walter Peyton looks good up there.” Jay let out a laugh in response. He tapped her thighs to let her know he was going to lower her so she didn't think they were falling. When she was steadily on the ground, she wrapped her arms around his waist and continued to look at their masterpiece. This was their first tree together, and even though it had been a journey to get it complete, they were happy with how it turned out.

“Thank you for being here, especially today. I don't think i would have been able to get through this week without you.”

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.”

In a picture perfect moment, the tree illuminated behind them as he leaned down to kiss her. If they were the type of people to send holiday cards, this would be the picture on it despite Jay’s messy hair or the fact that Hailey was in his button down.

* * *

“You need help?” Will greeted Jay, weaving in and out of people who were busy doing last minute holiday shopping. They met on the sidewalk in front of a row of small businesses downtown, everyone oblivious to the snow falling around them so they could get their last minute gifts.

“Yeah, I need your help picking something out.” Jay walked towards the door of a fancy, family owned jewelry store. When he got the text to go shopping, Will figured it would be a new sweater for Hailey or some gag gift for the boys, so he agreed to come along without asking any questions. Besides, since the funeral, this was the first time he had really spoken to him in a week, so he wasn't going to pass on any moments to spend with his little brother, but when he saw Jay walk towards the store with the big signs advertising engagement rings, necklaces, and all the other great Christmas gifts, realization hit him. Before Jay could touch the door handle, Will grabbed his forearm and pulled him away. “Dude, what the hell?” Jay asked, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

“You’re picking out a ring? I mean, that’s the only reason why you want to go into a jewelry store, but why?” He raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner.

“Why? Because I love Hailey and she is the best thing to ever happen to me and I want to spend the rest of my life with her.” He tried to shove his way past his brother, but Will just moved to interject his movements, doing anything possible to stop him from going in the store, even if that meant running into people walking on the sidewalk.

“I do have a medical degree, Jay. I get that. You absolutely should marry Hailey.” Jay rolls his eyes at Will’s mention of his MD. ”I just meant we have mom’s ring. Why are you buying a new one?”

“I don't want that.” Jay kept his answer simply and tried moving past his brother again only to be blocked once more. He would move past Will and onto the sidewalk, but getting through the swarm of people walking by would be harder than just body checking Will, which was about to happen if he continued blocking his path. “Seriously, Will, if you don't want to help, then don't. I'll just choose it myself.”

“Stop being five for two seconds and hear me out. Mom left the ring to the first one to get married. As I’m single and am not planning any trips to Vegas or Atlantic City to pull a young and dumb Jay Halstead, you’ll be the first one to successfully get to that alter, thus you should be using mom’s ring.” Will shoved his hands in his pocket, trying to brace himself for a cold breeze that whipped around them.

“I love mom and I appreciate the heirloom but let’s be real here.? That thing is nothing but bad luck. I almost proposed to Erin and before I could even ask she left me. Hell, she left the city! Then you gave it to Nat, and now you’re barely on speaking terms.” Jay listed their failed attempts at a happily ever after. “I just want a clean start with a new ring.”

Before Jay could make another attempt at walking past him, Will held up his hands to hold him still, taking one more step towards the door and now blocking anyone who wanted to go inside the shop. He understood what Jay was saying, but the ring meant a lot to them both, and he wanted to make sure that his little brother was considering every option, not just making decisions because of the sour memory of a proposal that didn’t even happen. “What if there’s a reason for it all. I mean think about it. Maybe it’s mom’s way of saying all those girls were not the right ones.” Will offered his theory. ”But Hailey is it for you, and I know for a fact it won't be bad luck.”

Jay thought back to the day him and Will were first given the ring. Their mom was in the hospital, barely holding on, when she told the boys they needed to have a talk. She took her ring off and handed it to Will, telling them that the ring was to be given to someone special, someone they knew without a doubt that they would spend the rest of their lives with. In that moment, they’d both refused to accept it. It had felt like their mom was saying she was giving up, that the fight was over. The feeling of defeat had even intensified once she’d passed away two days later and neither brother had wanted to even look at the ring, which was placed in a red box and given to Will for safekeeping as Jay was still in the Army, let alone think of the possibility that one day they might give it to the women they loved.

It had taken them years to realize what their mother had really meant, taken them the idea of proposing to someone actually becoming reality. Their mother hadn’t been telling them that she had given up; she had simply been trying to make peace with her faith and wanted her sons to know that while she would be missing so many milestones such as meeting their future wives, their weddings, the grandkids and every happy memory she’d looked forward to while she raised them up, she would be with them in their hearts. She wanted her ring to be a reminder that they deserved their own love stories and that when the time came for them to ask forever of their partners that she was proud of them for becoming the amazing men they are.

“Will, I might be the first one to get married, but the ring means a whole lot more to you than it does to me. Mom gave it directly to you, and while I appreciate you trusting me with mom’s ring, you’ll find your someone one day, and you should give her mom’s ring.” Jay spoke with a supportive hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I want my someone to have a new, probably way over my budget kinda ring. I’m not the man I was when I wanted to propose with mom’s ring and it only makes sense that this new ring tells the story of just Hailey and I.” When Will heard the sincerity in his voice, he finally accepted his brother’s response and moved to the side allowing him entrance to the store. After taking a brief moment to process his words, he soon followed suit and went in, going straight for the rows of flashy rings Jay was looking over. Later as Will watched his brother tell the sales associate about Hailey and what kind of jewelry she might like, how his eyes lit up and his lips curved up at the mention of the blonde detective, he understood why Jay’d wanted a new ring. As amazing as their mom’s ring and its story were, their love for one another was like no other and deserved its own unique ring and story.

* * *

Jay was lounging on the couch, flipping through the assortment of Christmas movies airing on TV when he heard the door creak open. Since Mouse’s death, Voight had given him the week off, including the whole holiday weekend, and offered more if he wasn't mentally ready to come back. Mouse was basically a brother and a member of the family and Voight had made it very clear that he should take as much time as he needed. As much as Jay appreciated the sympathy, he vowed to be back the Monday following Christmas. He was a busy body and he knew that lounging around the house with nothing to do would do more harm than good after a few days.

“Hey babe, how was work?” He greeted Hailey with a smile, watching his girlfriend kick off her shoes and toss her bag to the floor with a very audible thud. She rubbed her eyes and yawned as she padded across the room, clearly showing signs of how tired she was, making him rethink their choice of staying up late, drinking whiskey and discussing their favorite holiday traditions.

“Exhausting.” She gave Jay a quick kiss before laying on top of him, which he was prepared for from his spot, sprawled out on the couch with open arms, ready for the cuddles he was about to receive. “I ran 2 miles in below zero temperatures to chase someone who ended up not being involved in the case at all. We closed the case, but I'm so ready for a nap.” She positioned her head in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. There weren't many times they just laid on the couch together, holding each other in the comfortable quiet of their home, so they definitely weren't taking this for granted.

“At least we have the whole weekend to relax and prepare for the slew of post-holiday cases.” He rubbed small circles on her back, feeling her body relax against his touch. As much as he liked the time off, he was ready to get back to the rush of the job with his unit. He found that the best way to get his mind off things was working, and luckily with the job he had, there was always something he could be doing.

Hailey groaned, “I need to bake cookies. I told Kim I would bring them to the get-together tomorrow.” As none of their co-workers had kids and most of their families were working or out of town, the unit had decided to host their own Christmas dinner together. For the first time, it would be at Kevin’s house, and Hailey and Jay were thankful they didn't win the random lottery of hosting it this holiday.

“We can do that tomorrow, babe. You’re tired, I’m tired. We can open presents, make breakfast, watch The Christmas Story until we can memorize every line, then start baking.” Even as an adult, every year Jay made it a mission to open presents before doing anything else. This year would be no different, despite how many times Hailey insisted Santa wouldn't be stopping at their house.

“Okay.” Hailey mumbled, already half asleep. “How was your day? Did you do anything?”

Jay smiled, “I forced Will to go to lunch with me. Let me tell you, choosing the food court at the mall during the last minute gift shopping season was not my best decision, but the orange chicken was so worth it.”

Hailey let out a small chuckle before her breaths evened out like she was asleep. Jay kissed the top of her head, thinking of the simple ring that was in a box, buried under a mound of folded clothes in his drawer. It was the most textbook hiding spot, but Hailey did her best to avoid putting his laundry away so he was confident she wouldn't find it. As he promised, he wouldn't propose during the holiday season, but he definitely had something under his sleeve within the coming weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much to puckluck28 for helping me get this chapter together. i dont know what i would do without you!!  
> thank you guys so much for reading and sticking through breaks that are longer than intended. hopefully i can start writing more soon!!  
> be on the look out for some holiday fics soon! please comment what you thought and hope you enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! Thank you for reading! Wanted to start off on Hailey coming back from NYC and needing some closure with my boy Jay. This will be multi-chapter and each chapter will probably have some kind of time jump, whether its forward or back. Hope you guys enjoy and let me know what you think!


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